Tag: The Ronery Kingdom

Hey Mr DJ: Suicide is Brainless Edition

I considered a couple of ideas for this week’s DJ thread, but finally decided that it would be a mistake to ignore North Korea’s latest provocations. Much like the villains in The People Under the Stairs, the Kim family gets more crazy and paranoid with every generation.

As the language got more heated and the Kim Regime threatened to nuke Austin (of all places), I wondered at what point the US would be justified in launching a preemptive strike. We devastated Iraq for a LOT less than that. Then the North Koreans threatened to turn Washington, DC into a “sea of fire” and I said, “Oh. Okay.”

My guess is that NK will do something violent short of launching a full-scale war. Maybe sink another South Korean ship, kidnap some more people, or blow something else up. The possibilities really are endless, but I don’t think they’re going to sign their own death warrant by using a nuclear weapon. After all, the regime has a good thing going over there. Why commit suicide? It’s all about saving face now. The Obama Administration isn’t going to do anything in any case, so let Kim score his propaganda points.

What we should is listen to some tunes. Specifically:

1. Music from the ’50’s. A time when American imperialism was fun and every lousy Commie dictator was worth fighting a costly, but ultimately pointless war with.

2. Dynasties. Music by legacy musicians. Their parents were musicians, their kids were, grandkids, whatever. Oh, and the crazier, the better. Theme-appropriate.

3. Short Man Syndrome. When I used to work security at nightclubs, one of my supervisors liked to use this term for when those little, mean guys would get a little tequila in them, pick the biggest asshole in the bar to face down, and start swinging. I’m not sure what the point was, but they believed in themselves at that moment. You couldn’t reason with them but it was a bad idea to provoke them too. Kim has the SMS fever and the only cure is just a bit of assurance that he’s a bad dude. I say we give it to him so he’ll shut up and put his toys away for awhile.

Blustery Bonus: Songs of knowing when to hold ‘em, when to fold ‘em, when to walk away, and when you’re just not a good fucking card player. It’s about the art of the bluff, you see.

Hope you don’t mind, but I’m going with all #1 here. Maybe I’m just craving the black-and-white morality of the time, I don’t know. This decade really sucks, right?

Starting off with some Pulp Fiction music for pfluffy: You Never Can Tell by Chuck Berry

InsipiD: Mean, Mean Man by Wanda Jackson

stogy: I’ve Grown Accustomed to Her Face by Dean Martin

CM: White Lightning by The Big Bopper

WVR: Lonely Street by Gene Vincent

working_man: Claudette by Roy Orbison

Mississippi Yankee: Nope. You get this video of notorious SMS patient #1 Glenn Danzig getting knocked right out.
Oh, alright. Have a Danzig song with it. He always tried to sound like a Metal Elvis anyway.

For Santino and Biggie G, who were notably absent during the Easter Egg Hunt. No doubt selfishly spending time with friends and family.