Probably the hardest fact to come to grips with, at least for men as they get older, is that they aren’t 21 anymore. Now this can manifest itself in several areas; the pretty girls you pass on the street don’t check you out like in years past (female sales clerks call you “sir”, oh god), you start to notice all the erectile dysfunction, AARP, and supplemental vitamin commercials, and the inevitable aches and pains from doing mundane tasks become an irritant. But what really hits home and rattles your mortality cage is an unexpected surgery, welcome to my world.
A few weeks ago I went down hard on the tennis court, blowing out my right knee. Considering I’m mid-fifties, never had a broken bone, surgery or any serious injury of any kind in my life, I was not happy. Knowing that here in the Bay Area we have some of the best sports medicine clinics in the country, and getting some good referrals from ex jocks, I found a good surgeon who advised that he would have to do some major patella tendon reconstruction. Patience is not one of my strong suits but he was optimistic that I could be back playing in 6 months so about 2 weeks ago I went under the knife and have been bed ridden since, hence the lack of any real posting.
My Kindle, my laptop, and a dotting wife has helped a lot, but this full leg brace and not being allowed to put any weight down has really sucked, and I got a few more months of this to do. The instant video library on Amazon Prime (mid way through getting reintroduced to the best show on TV, NYPD Blue) has been a life saver, and I’m trying to do this whole ordeal sans any serious pain medication.
I guess I’m lucky, out of warranty and not needing any serious body work until now. I figure most guys here are either Gen Y or Gen X (even some baby boomers like myself) and I’m sure there are some great surgery stories out there. Here’s your chance, sure, I’ll take any run of the mill back, heart or brain surgery stories, but there has to be something hair raising or salacious, like you banging a super model when her husband came in mid hump and you broke both legs jumping out of a 4 story window but still managed to crawl home and call all your buddies to brag about it, or you got into a knife fight with 4 gang bangers, not only kicking all their asses, but took one an inch from your heart, not knowing about until the paramedic saw blood on your shirt. All braggarts are welcome.