Forget some fast food douchebag spitting in your food: Piss them off, and have them rub their junk on your pie:
SEPTEMBER 16—Angered that a customer called in a pizza order right before closing time, a Texas teenager allegedly rubbed his genitals on the patron’s pie as he prepared the takeout order, police allege.
Brent Bradley told cops that when he arrived at Papa Murphy’s pizza in Georgetown, a city 25 miles north of Austin, he spotted worker Austin Michael Symonds “rubbing his testicles on the pizza he had ordered,” according to a criminal complaint detailing the September 2 incident.
When confronted by the customer–who was there to pick up a large stuffed pie with Canadian bacon, pineapple, and extra cheese–the 18-year-old Symonds immediately apologized. “Man, I am really sorry, that was stupid,” Symonds said, according to the complaint.
Bradley then asked Symonds how old he was. After the teenager answered that he was 18, Bradley said, “So you are old enough to know better than to put your balls on someone’s pizza.” “Yes,” said Symonds.
In a recorded call with a store manager the following day, Symonds reportedly copped to adding the unwanted topping. Symonds again apologized, adding that he “did what he did because the customer had called in the order right before closing time.”
I guess this idiot figured extra cheese meant extra Frumunda cheese. For those of you not gifted with the Paisano gene like me, Frumunda cheese is “Cheese from unda da ballz”.
You can’t make up this level of stupid:
The UC Berkeley student government has banned the term “illegal immigrant” from its discourse, deeming the phrase racist, offensive, unfair and derogatory.
In an unanimous vote, student senators passed a resolution that stated the word “illegal” is “racially charged,” “dehumanizes” people, and contributes to “punitive and discriminatory actions aimed primarily at immigrants and communities of color.”
The “resolution in support of drop the I-word campaign” was approved 18 to 0 with one abstention on Oct. 30, according to a copy of the meeting’s minutes obtained by The College Fix.
Its approval marks at least the second time this semester that a public university’s student government has voted to eradicate the phrase. UCLA passed a nearly identical measure in late August.
This is the shit liberal indoctrination comes down to. You can’t even communicate to these people how fascistic this shit is. It’s not just speech control: it is an attempt to limit the opponent’s vocabulary so you can avoid the fact you are dealing with someone that broke the law in the first place. This is simply some douchebags pissing on the constitution and basically telling those they object to that freedom of speech only applies to the speech they approve of. And yet, I guarantee you these idiots feel very proud of what they have done.
And I can’t seem to get enough of how many stupid people are out there, lets’ have another such story of WTF was this idiot thinking when he did that:
In his defense, that toaster gives good bread. An unidentified London man is nursing his knob after firefighters had to extract his penis from a toaster. It’s unclear how the gentleman got it in there, but London’s bravest were there to butter his bread, The Mirror reports. Jokes aside, London appears to have a penis problem. MSN reports that firefighters in the area have dealt with too many lodged members over the past three years.
“I don’t know whether it’s the ‘Fifty Shades’ effect, but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up,” London firefighter Dave Brown said. Firefighters didn’t say when the incident occurred, but they released the story in an attempt to stop people from having sex with their appliances — or getting into other kinds of embarrassing trouble that diverts resources from emergency services.
Yeah, erm… Was this just the logical progression from that American Pie scene where the dude was banging an apple pie? I just don’t get how people do stupid shit like this, even when under the influence.
Hold my beer and watch this!:
After 25 beers — maybe more, police say — a Springfield man fired a handgun from a vehicle, trying to hit a snake slithering across the street. Two shots hit the car’s roof, one struck a passenger’s head and a fourth shot actually made it across the street, court documents say.
Although the wound required three stitches, Erin Moad, the passenger, was not seriously injured, according to the documents. Tyler C. Parker, 21, was charged Tuesday with second-degree assault as well as one count of “unlawful use of a loaded firearm by an intoxicated person.”
I am sure the instant reaction from the anti-gun idiots isn’t to punish this guy for being a fucking moron, but deny the rest of us that would never be stupid enough to do something this idiotic with a firearm, our rights to defend ourselves from the tyrannical government these gun grabbers seem to always be enamored off.
I am the first to admit that I am a lesbian trapped in a man’s body, but then again, after something like this, I may have to lay off that claim for abit.
Has to be what happened to cause this:
A 33-year-old man who struck customers with light sabers at the Toys R Us at Hayden Island has been sentenced to 45 days jail and possible mental-health treatment. David Allen Canterbury told Judge Kenneth Walker that he is already seeking mental-health treatment. Canterbury also apologized to his victims.
That, or the dude is playing with a deck that is short a few cards. May the force be with him.