Tag: Stupid criminals

My meat’s worth more than that!

Some idiot got caught with the wrong meat in their pants:

CROTON-ON-HUDSON, N.Y. (AP) – A New York supermarket employee has been accused of leaving the store with $1,200 worth of meat hidden in his pants.

State police say Gregory Rodriguez, of Ossining, is charged with fourth-degree grand larceny.

Rodriguez works at the A&P in Croton-on-Hudson. Police were called Monday about the theft. Rodriguez was arrested Tuesday.

Don’t know about you, but my meat’s worth more than a measly $1200. Get a chatting…

Another story that starts with…

Hold my beer and watch this!:

After 25 beers — maybe more, police say — a Springfield man fired a handgun from a vehicle, trying to hit a snake slithering across the street. Two shots hit the car’s roof, one struck a passenger’s head and a fourth shot actually made it across the street, court documents say.

Although the wound required three stitches, Erin Moad, the passenger, was not seriously injured, according to the documents. Tyler C. Parker, 21, was charged Tuesday with second-degree assault as well as one count of “unlawful use of a loaded firearm by an intoxicated person.”

I am sure the instant reaction from the anti-gun idiots isn’t to punish this guy for being a fucking moron, but deny the rest of us that would never be stupid enough to do something this idiotic with a firearm, our rights to defend ourselves from the tyrannical government these gun grabbers seem to always be enamored off.

Wanna Buy Some Treasuries?


Italian anti-mafia prosecutors said they seized a record $6 trillion of allegedly fake U.S. Treasury bonds, an amount that’s almost half of the U.S.’s public debt.

The bonds were found hidden in makeshift compartments of three safety deposit boxes in Zurich, the prosecutors from the southern city of Potenza said in an e-mailed statement. The Italian authorities arrested eight people in connection with the probe, dubbed “Operation Vulcanica,” the prosecutors said.

The U.S. embassy in Rome has examined the securities dated 1934, which had a nominal value of $1 billion apiece, they said in the statement. “Thanks to Italian authorities for the seizure of fictitious bonds for $6 trillion,” the embassy said in a message on Twitter.

Wasn’t there an episode of the Simpsons based around this?

You have to wonder what these guys intended to do with a treasury worth a billion dollars. Who were they going to sell this to? As a friend said on Facebook, were they going to say, “Hey, this is worth $1 billion, but I like you, so I’ll sell it to you for only $200 million.”?

Of course, at the rate we’re issuing debt, $6 trillion in bonds may one day be a standard bar mitzvah present.

Now that’s a retirement plan!

In this day and age where Social Security is threading water and soon to drown in red ink, the stock market returns on 401(K)s is still anemic and down a bit, union bosses are spending their member’s money buying special favors from politicians instead of properly funding the member’s retirement plans, and the economy is out of control, some people are taking matters into their own hands. Anyway, that’s the spin I am putting on this story, which happened in the San Fran area – this guy look like a nice leftist hippy in that picture, or what – so Sammy and his attorneys can start looking at possible defenses. He probably should have gone bigger. Better yet, he should have joined some government somewhere and taken more money. He would then likely then have qualified as a white collar criminal and gone to one of them country club prisons. Now he is doomed to end up in, to steal a quote from the movie “Office Space” Federal “Pound me in the ass prison”. With that long hair he is sure to make someone all excited to have him as a roommate.