Tag: silly pledges

I Pledge To Ignore All Pledges

The “shameless” season is upon us. At this point in every election cycle we see candidates willing to sell their first born, suck any dick that votes, and promise the world all in an attempt to gain traction and get some name recognition. Any support helps and pandering to any constituency, any fringe, lunatic or otherwise, can build momentum. So we get to see how well they roll over and sit, and jump through hoops for us in an attempt to single themselves out and curry favor.

One really annoying practice of late is to trot out some silly pledge, something that they have to support and adhere to if elected, then see who is desperate enough to sign such a bargain with the devil:

Bob Vander Plaats, an activist for socially conservative causes, has the kind of sway with Iowa Republicans that has drawn the GOP presidential candidates to his door. He says he plans to endorse one.

But first, Mr. Vander Plaats wants to know: Will the candidates sign his pledge to oppose gay marriage, pornography and Sharia, or Islamic law?
On the List for 2012?

Mr. Vander Plaats’ pledge is one of several that activists or groups are putting before the candidates. An alliance including Sen. Jim DeMint (R., S.C.) and FreedomWorks, both backers of tea-party groups, want candidates to sign a “Cut, Cap and Balance” promise on budget policy. Another group, the Susan B. Anthony List, is advancing an antiabortion pledge.

Use to be that the customer was satisfied with maybe a handjob in the men’s room or a BJ in the back seat, not anymore, if you aren’t willing to take it up the ass on the first date, to commit yourself and sign off on any laundry list some group puts in front of you, you are better off staying home and not even going to the big dance.

I’ve never been in favor of pledges, of any kind. French kissing with some girl is not going to endear you to all the other girls in the room, and when it comes to elections, it is all about the numbers. That, and it is never worth the paper it’s written on. How many silly pledges did Obama consign himself to on the election trail, only to break ranks with “his people” and do what he thought best. What broken promise do you think riles his base the most? Gitmo, Extending the Bush tax cuts, snooping even more on the folks, or expanding America’s wars in the world?

Even the really simple ones that are no brainers, if a candidate decides to bypass it, it does not mean necessarily that he is against it. I would expect every single GOP candidate to support these 3 principals, but putting their name to it? Who cares?

The Vander Plaats’ pledge, which Santorum and Bachmann have already signed (no surprise there, both could have authored it for all we know) is quite a doosy, you can check it out here.

Actually, there is nothing there I thought strayed too far from the conservative play book. “Innocent fruits of conjugal intimacy”, dang, I need a cold shower after reading that. “Debased the currency of marriage”, ouch, I hate to break it to this guy but the Zimbabwe dollar, which takes about 10 billion of them to by a loaf of bread, has more integrity. And just to make sure that the folks would not interpret this as a sermon, he throws in good stuff about adherence to the Constitution and the necessity of a balance budget.

We expect pandering and prostitution with our candidates, but let’s allow them the chance at persevering even a modicum of self respect. Vote for the person that appears presidential, speaks well, or even the one that has the hottest wife, but don’t kid yourself into thinking that whatever he says (or signs) is written in stone. You know what they say about politicians and moving lips.