Tag: Product Recalls

Bumbo Bungle

It’s this sort of thing that makes me think our civilization is doomed:

Hi Folks! Just read about this warning regarding Bumbo Seats — little seats that look even safer than normal seats because there’s a big, hmmm, I guess “bumbo” in front of the crotch, wedging the child in. (See below.) About 4 million — that’s 4,000,000 — have been sold. And now they are being recalled for retooling — basically adding a safety belt — after reports of 2 baby skull fractures. (Two, that is, while the seat was on the ground. Another 19 occurred when the seat was on a raised surface and presumably the child fell out or off.)

We put Sal 11000 in a Baby Bumbo without any idea … any clue .. that we were exposing her to a 1 in 200,000 chance of getting hurt. What the hell were we thinking? We should have just swaddled her in bubble wrap and never left the house! I even have picture of me committing this horrible crime, holding her hand and explaining football to her. I could tell she liked football because she drooled more.

We’re just coming off a stupid recall of Buckeyballs — the little molybdenum magnets that you can arrange into cool shapes — because kids can swallow them and cause serious intestinal injury. Never mind that this can happen with any magnet. Never mind that the product is clearly labelled for ages 13 and up. Never mind that the injuries, while horrific, are thankfully rare. Kids! Injuries! One death! Don’t you care about the children?! I have a buckeyball set at work. I should destroy it immediately. Or better still, just fill my office with concrete to isolate the awful things before they leap off the desk and attack my intestines. I already had my abdominal surgery for the year.

But … in some ways, I’m encouraged. If our products are so safe that we are reduced to recalling Baby Fucking Bumbos, we must be doing pretty well.