Tag: political conventions

Readers Digest Version

Political conventions in and of themselves are fairly dull events. It is a great excuse for delegates from all over the country to come party together with like minded folks (you know what they say about Republican women in the sack), and sometimes police clashes with OWS losers out in the parking lots offer some entertainment value, but as a predominant news making affair, snooze city. One positive aspect is that up and comers get to showcase their wares, our current president and his coming out party at a DNC convention is case in point. I will watch snippets of the GOP convention; notably South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley and New Mexico Gov. Susana Martinez, Condoleezza Rice, Marco Rubio, Chris Chrisite, Bobby Jindal, and Mia love (Utah’s congressional candidate, if you don’t know anything about her, find out).

On the DNC side, well, these are good nights for re arranging my sock drawer, clipping my toe nails and doing that pesky root canal I’ve been putting off. But for those genuinely interested, I found a schedule of upcoming convention events, handy for making sure you don’t miss out:

4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony – sponsored by CNN
4:05 PM – Singing of “God Damn America ” led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama
4:15 PM – Ceremonial ‘I hate America’ led by Michelle Obama
4:30 PM – Tips on “How to keep your man trustworthy & true to you while you travel the world” – Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM –Al Sharpton / Jesse Jackson; seminar “How to have a successful career without having a job.”

I’ll say one thing about those guys, they are good planers. The Michelle travel log looks educational, she has been around and seen some things. I wish they would put Biden on sooner, that is way passed my bedtime. I guess I’ll have to read about him lighting himself on fire in the papers the next morning.

I expected at least a token Hollywood shout out, some time set aside for celebs to pimp themselves out for the good of the cause, Cameron Diaz giving guided tours of her cooter, Michael Moore sharing his secret map listing the best donut shops in Flint, a lunch with Clooney where he will regale you with cast stories from Oceans 11 thru 18, oh, and some singing lessons from Cher.