Tag: No whacking off

Wanker Introduces Bill Banning Wanking Off

No worries, our elected officials got things well in hand. 70 million Americans receiving governmental assistance, 48.5 percent of the U.S. population now living in households that receive some type of government benefit, unemployment high/U.S. growth both in business and confidence low, it’s all good because the politicians have their finger on the pulse of America, have taken it’s temperature and know exactly what is needed to offer some relief:

Oklahoma’s proposed anti-abortion Senate Bill 1433 states a fetus “at every stage of development (has) all the rights, privileges, and immunities available to other persons, citizens, and residents of this state.”

In response, pro-choice Oklahoma State Senator Constance Johnson introduced an amendment to the bill that read: “However, any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.”

How clever, and clearly a responsible way to spend tax payers money {insert the perfunctory Preston Brooks reference again, god but some of these people need to be beat senseless}

Some background is in order. We all know about the “personhood” movement:

In at least 12 states — including crucial national battlegrounds such as Ohio and Virginia — anti-abortion activists are seeking to place “personhood” measures on the ballot this year. The measures vary in some details, but in general they define human life as beginning with fertilization and are intended to ban virtually all abortions, even in cases of rape and incest.

Whether you agree or disagree with this movement, I think it is at least legitimate given the near 50/50 split wrt pro life vs. pro choice and the antipathy some have with all abortion practices. I don’t want this to turn into an abortion post, we will save discussing “personhood” for another day. My scorn has more to do with idiot legislation costing taxpayers money and wasting the time of those that are tasked with more important things on their plate.

Yeah, I realize this was a jest move, an attempt to ridicule the other side by writing legislation equally (in their mind) ridiculous, but the abortion issue, whatever side you place yourself, is legitimate, banning blowjobs, handjobs, anal sex and masturbation is not. Only a retard would think that a fast swimming sperm is a human life. She could have banned menstruation in general and the loss of those possible human lives, but getting the word “ejaculation” in any bill is much more salacious.

Spending 5 minutes debating this on the floor, all the staffers tied up in writing the bill, the bandwidth, paper, electricity, any resource used was a wasted resource and should come out of her wallet.

What is the saying ,”Government out of my bedroom”?, considering all the places we get hummers,the tentacles of governmental intrusion will be pervasive and endless.