I held my tongue when Anthony Weiner tossed his hat into the ring as a mayoral candidate. After all, he was just a creep who sent unsolicited dick shots to strange women. Whatevs.
But now Eliot Spitzer is back and he wants to run for comptroller in New York (using the rather unfortunate phrasing that he’s “going to be on the street corners”. Dude! There’s this whole internet thing now.)
Let’s remind ourselves that Eliot Spitzer was not run out of town because he hired a hooker. He was run out of town for being a law-breaking hypocritical piece of shit:
In all seriousness, some of the prime memories to keep fresh about the 2008 scandal are: 1) Spitzer not only prosecuted those who engaged in the same behavior he was up to, but cynically led a public campaign for longer sentences for “johns”; 2) he engaged in the white-collar offense of structuring or “smurfing,” deliberately keeping financial transactions below a reportable threshold, after prosecuting others based on the same sorts of bank reports; 3) he then used expensive lawyers to beat the rap on both counts, even as smaller fry continue to be convicted for both; 4) from what I can tell – I invite correction if I’m wrong – he’s done approximately nothing in the years since to work toward relaxing or removing legal penalties for small-fry (or for that matter big-fish) johns and smurfers.
Consider that Eliot Spitzer, who, as New York’s State Attorney General, passionately denounced the evils of prostitution as he vigorously enforced laws against prostitution by day and paid for his ‘sex slaves’ by night… in some cases going out of state and violating the Mann Act, a federal crime called ‘sex trafficking’. Spitzer rose to governorship on the back of political reform and cleaning up corruption. According to many sources, his was a ‘scorched earth’ policy when it came to prosecuting white collar crimes. One target of his wrath were ‘prostitution rings’ against which he had publicly vented with “revulsion and anger announcing the arrest of 16 people for operating a select prostitution ring” in 2004. He dispatched his brand of justice in short order and sent them to prison. In hindsight one could speculate that his show of revulsion and anger came not from a sense of moral repugnance at the thought of paid sex professionals but that the ‘select prostitution ring’ he targeted had perhaps been too selective and refused his business in the past? Or did he feel a sense of pride at being able to prosecute the competition of those who did provide him with their sexual services?
Eliot Spitzer is everything he claims to be against and everything that the Left claims they despise. He is a moral hypocrite who persecuted ordinary joes who paid for sex while he hired the most expensive girls in New York (as Maggie will tell you, laws against prostitution are often about denying sex to the plebs). He is a rich man who used his money, influence and lawyers to avoid any punishment for his acts. He is a “crusader” who has no problem using shifty financial transactions as long as they are his financial transactions. He is power-hungry commoner-stomping aristocrat who’s chief regret at this point is that the scandal denied him his destiny of the White House. And he has not changed his tune by a single note. He and his supporters still see him as a victim.
You know how we sometimes say we wouldn’t elect someone as dog catcher? I wouldn’t elect Spitzer as dog catcher, least of all comptroller. Spitzer has already had more post-scandal success than he deserves, with his factually-challenged columns at Slate and other idiotic commentary gigs. There are literally 8.3 million people in New York who would be a better choice of comptroller, including many who are, technically speaking, babies.
To hell with Spitzer. I don’t want to hear about his redemption tour. He was a slimeball before the Client 9 scandal and he’s a slimeball now. Maybe just once life could deny something he wants; the one thing he really truly wants: power.
(And before you throw David Vitter in my face, I don’t think he should be in power either.)