Tag: Islamic State of Iraq and Syria

Class Dismissed

I know I shouldn’t laugh at this, but … yeah:

If there were such a thing, it would probably be rule No. 1 in the teaching manual for instructors of aspiring suicide bombers: Don’t give lessons with live explosives.

In what represented a cautionary tale for terrorist teachers, and a cause of dark humor for ordinary Iraqis, a commander at a secluded terrorist training camp north of Baghdad unwittingly used a belt packed with explosives while conducting a demonstration early Monday for a group of militants, killing himself and 21 other members of the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, army and police officials said.

Iraqi citizens have long been accustomed to daily attacks on public markets, mosques, funerals and even children’s soccer games, so they saw the story of the fumbling militants as a dark — and delicious — kind of poetic justice, especially coming amid a protracted surge of violence led by the terrorist group, including a rise in suicide bombings.

Let’s see. Twenty-two terrorists times 72 virgins is … 1584 virgins that terrorist heaven is going to have to come up with in a hurry. I’d maybe avoid any gaming conventions for the next month.

The more we learn about terrorists, the more Four Lions looks like a documentary. Most of these guys are idiots and incidents like this are far from isolated.

To be fair, some of the guys killed were probably delusional dickhead teenagers who joined the movement to feel big. But as far as the instructor goes — you know, the guy who tells young men how to blow themselves up while keeping himself very much alive — this is nothing but pure poetic justice.