Tag: Failure of Thrill to get off his ass

Hey Mr DJ: New Health Plan Edition

My great reward for taking two weeks of vacation (during which I went nowhere, sat on my ass, drank cheap beer, and spent most of my time acting like an antisocial menace on social media) was to find that my pants barely fit and my work had piled up on my desk. Being a fat, sedentary workaholic is not a good health plan, by any stretch. It’s so undeniably true, you could even take Obama’s word for it.

So it’s time to give up soda and beer; switching instead back to martinis or red wine (no, I don’t see a problem here, why do you ask?). Also, I need to start some pretense of an exercise regimen or I’ll probably be able to apply for work as an assassination decoy for Chris Christie by New Year’s Day.

Give to me now songs of fitness. Celebrate letting yourself go, making promises of improved health that you probably can’t keep (ahem, Mr President), or enjoying the prospect of good health and outliving your enemies. We’re talking exercise, more rest, good diet, and other things that help forestall our inevitable and lonely deaths. Alternately, feel free to acknowledge those artists whose bodies are seemingly exempt from gravity as they get older or the ones who are more like Axl Rose. You know what I mean.

Motivate my sorry ass.

Mississippi Yankee: Don’t Sit Down ‘Cause I’ve Moved Your Chair by Arctic Monkeys. Less sitting is good.

WVR: Life During Wartime by the Talking Heads. The song isn’t relevant, but watch the video and imagine doing that workout routine through the entire song twice a day. Anyone’d have Byrne’s figure. Well, the cocaine may have helped.

pfluffy: Tales of Endurance by Supergrass

Biggie G: Vanity Kills by Codeine Velvet Club

Santino: Lounger by Dogs Die in Hot Cars.

InsipiD: Miracle Mile by Cold War Kids. As in, it would take a miracle for me to jog one.

Speaking of low motivation, it’s surprising we have so few dedications this week with the excessive shout-outs last week.