Tag: Creationism

History Existed Before Bible Says Pat Robertson

Holiest of Shits!

Look, I know that people will probably try to lynch me when I say this, but Bishop [James] Ussher wasn’t inspired by the Lord when he said that it all took 6,000 years. It just didn’t. You go back in time, you’ve got radiocarbon dating. You got all these things and you’ve got the carcasses of dinosaurs frozen in time out in the Dakotas.

They’re out there. So, there was a time when these giant reptiles were on the Earth and it was before the time of the Bible. So, don’t try and cover it up and make like everything was 6,000 years. That’s not the Bible.

Yeah.  Pat Robertson is, uh, totally right.  At long last, a major fundamentalist Christian leader has come forward on this stupidly needless and divisive topic.  The Bible isn’t a science book.  Anyone who has read it should know that.

For a long time, people misunderstood the concept that the Bible is the only book you really need to read.  In a way, that’s so.  The Bible (at least the parts in red letters) is about living in peace with our fellow human beings, practicing compassion, and other hippie stuff.   When Christianity went off the rails is when believers began pretending like it was the final authority on all things and the only book you should ever read.

I applaud Robertson for speaking up about this.  It’s a major crack in the wall, in my opinion.  At last: Science and Faith no longer have to be at war and the media won’t be able to make GOP politicians look like dumbasses by asking about the age of the Earth.

Bizarrely, we will have Pat Robertson to thank for beginning the change in thinking of those theological circles.

From Satan’s Bottom


Rep. Paul Broun (R-GA) tore into scientists as tools of the devil in a speech at the Liberty Baptist Church Sportsman’s Banquet last month.

“All that stuff I was taught about evolution and embryology and the Big Bang Theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of Hell,” Broun said. “And it’s lies to try to keep me and all the folks who were taught that from understanding that they need a savior.”

According to Broun, the scientific plot was primarily concerned with hiding the true age of the Earth. Broun serves on the House Science Committee, which came under scrutiny recently after another one of its Republican members, Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO), suggested that victims of “legitimate rape” have unnamed biological defenses against pregnancy.

“You see, there are a lot of scientific data that I’ve found out as a scientist that actually show that this is really a young Earth,” he said. “I don’t believe that the Earth’s but about 9,000 years old. I believe it was created in six days as we know them. That’s what the Bible says.”

Broun is on the House Science Committee, by the way. His position there isn’t a middle finger to science — not entirely anyway. He has a degree in chemistry and a doctorate.

I post this more for amusement than anything else. I’ve been in astrophysics for twenty years now and I’ve never gotten a smoking sulfurous memo instructing me in this week’s secular humanistic God-destroying conspiracy. All I’ve seen is thousands of pieces of information that are consistent with a universe that is 14 billion years old.

Of course, I never get invited to the really cool meetings, anyway.