Adventure is worthwhile - Aesop

Monday, October 24, 2005

I’ve been asked to detail what Bush could do to regain my respect.  I thought I had pretty much covered this, because I never criticize him for doing something without also pointing out what I think he should have done instead.  To answer the question, though, here’s one thing Bush could do that would not only earn my respect, but would also make him one of the greatest presidents in history.  Which, is of course, why he’d never do it.  I’d love to see a primetime national address, where Bush says something along the lines of the following.

“My fellow Americans.  Often times in the course of politics those of us who have been elected to serve you abuse the power of the office with which we are entrusted.  Everyone does it, and all too often we public servants use that tautology as justification for our continued abuse of the office.  This is not an issue off Republicans versus Democrats, or liberals versus conservatives, nor is it limited to any one particular branch of government.  Nobody’s hands are clean on this one, including my own. 

“During my administration non-discretionary government spending has grown at an astonishing 35% rate.  This is shameful.  It would be very easy for me to deflect the blame for this spending onto the Congress, but I am not going to.  This is a problem that I had a huge hand in creating, because while Congress does indeed control the pursestrings, it is the President who signs the checks.  My signature is on every one of these spending bills, and therefore I am as complicit in this sad state of affairs as anyone.

“I come before you tonight to apologize.  While many of you support me in my actions to defend America against its enemies, many of you do not.  I respect that dissenting opinion, and indeed embrace it as what makes America such a unique and special place.  We can, do, and most likely always will have these disagreements.  But one area we can come together—liberal and conservative, Democrat and Republican—is in the need to get our finances under control.  So I am issuing a challenge tonight, to both parties in the Congress.

“I have had my staff go through the federal budget and identify unnecessary spending, commonly known as pork.  These are projects which receive federal money.  A little bit here, a little bit there, and eventually we’re talking tens of billions of dollars.  The results of this staff project have been posted for your perusal on Whitehouse.gov, or simply call the switchboard and we will gladly mail you a copy.  What we have compiled is a list of wasteful or unnecessary government pork projects that can and should bew cut immediately.  The list is organized by state, and cross-references the sponsors of the bill.  In short, you can look at this list and see just how much wasteful government pork is being spent in your state.

“Note, please, that necessary government functions have not been touched a single iota.  We’re just trimming the fat.  I hereby issue a challenge to the Congress: send me, within two weeks, a revised spending bill that trims at least 80% of unnecessary spending from each state.  Citizens, contact your senators and representatives and tell them which projects you feel should be cut and which should be saved.  We can do this. 

“With this action we can trim from the budget upwards of $200 billion.  This will more than finance the hurricane damage, leaving us with money for other vital projects.

“This isn’t a party issue.  There are no sacred cows.  I expect everyone to work together to send me a revised budget without pork.  Compromise, work together, but never forget the overriding issue here, that we are spending the taxpayer’s money, and they damn sure deserve a better accounting of it than we are giving them.

“My fellow Americans, you deserve better.  We have been acting like pigs at the trough for far too long now.  I accept full blame, and only as now that you support me as I urge the Congress to work together and undo the terrible mess we have created for itself.

It will be hard, but if your support for the project is shown then Congress will come through.  Get involved, and let’s make this happen.”