"To what purpose are powers limited, and to what purpose is that limitation committed to writing,
if these limits may, at any time, be passed by those intended to be restrained?"
-- Chief Justice John Marshall, Marbury v. Madison, 1803

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

If you have to live in an area with a gun ban, at least you can look good while dodging bullets.

First off, Black Armor’s Covert Denim Jacket ($800) combines rugged Marlboro-Man style with full front, back, and side ballistic protection. It’s the perfect choice for the casual Friday bullet dodger. Next, Australia’s Duram Products has a natty, Belstaff-looking all weather jacket that can stop the rain as easily as it stops rounds from an AK-47. In a similar vein, Spycatcher of Knightsbridge offers their Weatherproof Disguised Bullet/Stab-Proof Jacket ($1,779), a sharp number that will strike just the right note as you stand over the corpses of your would-be assassins.

If you’re looking for an accessory that will truly save your hide, pick up Zahal’s Bullet Proof Briefcase ($490), a thick shield disguised as a mere laptop case. Countermeasures beat computers any day. We don’t like to think about it, but kids can catch a bullet as easily as anyone else. Thank goodness for Bullet Blocker’s My Child’s Pack ($175). Now little Georgie can walk home from school without fear.
For a more hip-hop look, you can always turn to the Defender Hoodie by Britan’s Bladerunner ($865). The other skate rats won’t mess with you when you put on one of these. Then again, you might want to go for the aristocratic rancher look. If so, Miguel Cabellero will have a lead-proof parka, riding jacket, or duster perfect for you.

Usually weddings are a time for celebration. But with every celebration, there’s a chance of things getting out of hand. Next time, wear USA Body Armor’s formal EnGarde Executive Vest ($865). Which would you rather be, Best Man or Last Man Standing? Spycatchers of Knightsbridge and Security Pro also offer executive waistcoats for the human target on the go.

Finally, also from Security Pro, comes a piece of armor no man should travel without—the Ballistic Groin Cup ($335). Let’s face it, men of D.C., if you can’t walk home at night knowing that Mr. Winky is safe, you should probably just move to Virginia.

Which raises the question-if you can afford to buy stuff like this, why are you living in a D.C. neighborhood?