Adventure is worthwhile - Aesop
I got an email from a reader yesterday.
Lee, I really do respect the fact that you are stong in your convictions, and I truely believe that the GOP has shifted, leaving you behind. I’m not going to turn this into one of those “Lee’s a tinfoil hat leftie so I’m leaving” emails, but there are a few things I’d like to say.
Just as the GOP left you, your blog has left me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s your space, and I’m grateful for the forum you give other people to share thier own ideas. I doubt you have personally changed, but the blog definitely has. It’s more and more about being confrontational and your personal vendettas against a small minority of members. Check out the archives from some random month a year or so ago, then compare that with the tone of August/September 2006. It’s not even that what you’re saying is so disagreeable, but you used to be funny, now you’re just angry.
I’ll be checking in from time to time because you have a great thing going, but not as often, because the good stuff only comes around every few days recently.
This might come as a surprise to everyone, but I completely agree that the tone on this blog has changed over the last year or two. The question is why? Let’s explore.
I started blogging shortly after the first anniversary of 9/11. At the time I was living in the Bay Area, and after a year of being bombarded with left-wing agitprop about how “Bush knew” and it was a conspiracy for oil and how he was Hitler, I needed a release. This blog was my catharsis, my place to come and be able to express my views on anything I liked without being held up to scorn and ridicule from coworkers and such. It was my little secret garden, where I could sneak off and smoke cigarettes without my mom finding out.
If you go back to the early days of this blog and browse through the pages you can see that, back in 2002, I was clearly a Republican. If you click here you’ll be taken to page 596, from November 2002. (Wow, have I really been doing this that long?) And back then I was a huge George W. Bush fan. Look at this post from 11/08/02.
[George W. Bush] has been sorely underestimated by his political opponents and the entire rest of the world. They saw him as a stupid, illegitimate, foolish country bumpkin and counted him out. But to their obvious chagrin the bumbling, slack-jawed hick has played his opponents like a violin ever since he took office. The man is simply presidential, and I find myself liking him more and more every day.
What kind of people started coming to this blog? Conservatives with a sense of humor. I’m a funny guy and try to inject humor into what I write, and that appeals to a lot of people. I think, at least as bloggers go, I have a reasonable political understanding. I’m also quite good at explaining things for people. Back when I was working in software one of my tasks was to write documentation explaining how to use it. I’ve written three books like this, and have gotten nothing but praise and positive feedback on them.
In 2002 this blog was pro-conservative, pro-Republican, pro-Bush, and anti-liberal. That really fostered a sense of community, since most of the people who hung out here were of a similar mind. Due to our generally similar ages and interests we generally agreed on most things. This was a place for young conservatives to get together and bag on Democrats and liberals, and it was a hell of a lot of fun.
Of course, it was all an illusion. The first two years of this blog were like the Clinton years. They seemed to be peaceful and friendly, but lurking just under the surface were significant disagreements which would split the entire conservative movement into fragments. The first of these was Terri Schiavo.
I’m certainly not interested in rehashing the specifics of that case. That being said, I was just floored when the Senate thought that it was ethically and Constitutionally appropriate to call itself into special session just so they could intervene on behalf of this woman. No matter what your opinion on the right to die issue, this was a private family matter that had run its course through the appropriate appellate process. That should have been it. You can protest, you can rail about the injustice of it all, and you can propose legislation to make sure that something like this never happens again. That’s how the system works. When the system didn’t work the way the social and religious conservatives wanted it to, the Senate, acting like a lapdog, use the awesome power of the federal government to try to get the opposite result.
What shocked me about the whole thing was not that the conservative movement wanted Terri to live, it was that conservatives, people who are allegedly for smaller government and states rights, would so gladly support a massive intrusion by the federal government in an issue it had no jurisdiction over. I simply couldn’t believe it. These people are conservatives, for God’s sake! Conservatives don’t pull this kind of stunts, liberals do! Opposition to exactly this sort of thing is why I became a conservative in the first place.
What really disgusted me was the win-at-all-costs ruthlessness with which the social conservatives were able to wield their power. It clearly showed that the social ideology and the small government ideologies were clashing, and the socials were winning. And there were so many people on this blog who were gleefully cheering this on. People whose opinions I respected, people whose online personae I liked. All of a sudden we were bitter enemies.
That was the first crack in the edifice. Since then we have watched this president, a man who claims to be a conservative, engaged in the following:
• A massive increase in the size and scope of government, to levels unmatched by many liberal Democrats.
• One of the most incompetently planned wars in history.
• Key positions filled by incompetent people, whose sole qualification was loyalty to Bush and the GOP.
• The Katrina disaster.
• The creation of secret programs to spy on American citizens.
• A total disregard for the idea that the Constitution places limits on the power of the executive branch.
• An astonishing abuse of the idea of signing statements, which he believes gives him the right to simply ignore any law he chooses.
• Ruthless contempt for anyone, of any political stripe, who dares to try and impede his quest for power.
Just like with the Schiavo incident, I have been astonished to see just how many so-called “conservatives” are willing to gloss over this stuff, to wholeheartedly buy the White House spin, when it has been shown so many times before that the spin is usually an outright lie. I hardly ever read National Review any more. The political magazine which largely made me a conservative in the first place was now devoted primarily to pushing Bush’s social agenda and excusing everything else he did. It’s like I stepped into the Bizarro world.
I feel betrayed by this president, a man I voted for twice. I feel betrayed by the Republican Party, which used to respect conservatives from all across the spectrum, but now rejects heretics for deviating from the Bush party line (McCain, Giuliani, Schwarzenegger, etc.). I feel betrayed by the conservative movement, which is hardly recognizable to me any more.
Does this betrayal this make me angry? You bet your ass it does.
I started blogging as a way to interact with other conservatives, to be able to rant and have people get what I was talking about, where I could scream about the stupidity of liberalism. What I have ended up doing is arguing conservative politics with other conservatives. So, my little escape from the confrontational world of living amongst the liberals on the Left Coast has turned into a confrontational world of arguing with conservatives. I’m constantly arguing with people no matter where I go, and its frustrating as hell.
Does this frustration make me angry? You bet your ass it does.
On top of this we have the “Lee is a liberal” mantra. In most people’s minds there are only two political beliefs, conservative or liberal. You have to be one of the two. If you are a conservative then you are a Republican, and if you are a liberal then you are a Democrat. Man or woman, cat or dog, up or down, conservative or liberal. And, just like cats and dogs, conservatives and liberals are supposed to be bitter enemies. People cling to their political ideology in the same manner that a patriot loves his country. Sure, you can have disagreements with your country, but you generally have to agree with our way of doing things to call yourself patriotic. If someone were to come along and say, “I only like about 20% of what America does. The rest sickens me.” Would you consider this person a patriot? I probably wouldn’t. There is no middle ground on patriotism, you’re either a patriot or you are not, and this is exactly how the modern conservative movement acts. If you don’t generally support Bush then you’re not a Republican, and if you’re not a Republican you’re not a conservative, and if you’re not a conservative then you must be… A LIBERAL!
“Why don’t you just go vote for Kerry and get your transformation over with?”
“Wow, this blog sounds like Kos or Atrios.”
“You’re just saying that because you hate Bush.”
We’ve all seen people write these statements and countless others just like them. Bush has so polarized the country that now I’m defending myself against accusations that I’m not a conservative.
Put yourself in my shoes for a second. I go to work every day where I am considered the arch conservative, the radical right-winger. Why? Because I dared to publicly express support for the Iraq War and for some of Bush’s policies. Then I come home, and conservatives accuse me of being some limp-wristed leftie. I’m getting attacked from all sides.
As you can imagine, this gets frustrating after a while.
One thing you guys have to realize. If you were to map out the structure of a blog like this it would look sort of like a wagon wheel. At the center is me, the guy who writes the majority of the content. At the end of the spokes are the readers. If you choose the end of any spoke, there is only one level of interaction, between the reader (you) and the writer (me). So, from your perspective, you and I are basically having a one-on-one conversation. From my perspective, however, I’m having conversations with 100 people at once.
So, let’s say we’re discussing a hot-button issue like religion or torture. A reader logs in (let’s call him Bill) and reads a post of mine with which he disagrees. He immediately scrolls to the bottom of the page and furiously writes what an idiot I am for saying such things. I see the comment and write back something dismissive, telling him he’s using a stupid argument and I’m not even going to waste my time on a response. “Wow!” thinks Bill. “Lee’s a fucking asshole! I just left one comment and he jumped my shit over it!” This is because, in his mind, this is a one-on-one experience. However, what Bill doesn’t realize is that I’ve been on the blog all day, and other people have made the same stupid argument that Bill did, and I’ve already responded to it fifty times. In Bill’s mind I got pissed off at him for no reason, whereas in my mind I’ve been arguing the same stupid point all day, over and over over again.
Frustrating? You don’t know the half of it.
And then, of course, the anger is reciprocal. Someone insults me, I insult him back, we get in a flame war, other people get involved, and before you know it everyone’s pissed off at everyone else. However, in the minds of most people, their experience is one-on-one, and they take it a lot more personally than I intended it. I wasn’t speaking to one person, I was speaking to 2,000.
There are many other aspects to this which I did not elaborate on, such as the “Lee hates Jesus” meme. But, suffice it to say, that this has all whipped up into a Perfect Storm of anger.
So, what do we do from here? Beats me. My principles and beliefs have not changed one iota over the past four years. What has changed is the political apparatus I choose to represent me. Many people are able to separate the idea of political beliefs and political party. Many others are not.
I’m a libertarian conservative. I am not a Republican. I am not a Bush fan. What changed was not my beliefs, it was the party and the movement and the man I voted into office twice.
So, stick around the blog if you like. The door is always open. If you think I’m a prick and don’t want to stick around any more that’s cool too. But don’t be an asshole on your way out, just go. Don’t slam the door behind you for effect. And, if you stick around, let’s ALL make an effort to try and be civil with each other, okay?
Well, except for liberals. :)
Posted by
Lee on 09/23/06 at 09:13 AM (
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Dumbest focking post I’ve ever seen on this blog! ;)
I’ll admit, its been tough reading this the past few months, but there were enough posts to keep me here and I’m not self-important enough to send you a “Dear Lee” email. You’ve got a great blog here, and I would like to see it stick around for a while.