if these limits may, at any time, be passed by those intended to be restrained?"
-- Chief Justice John Marshall, Marbury v. Madison, 1803
Orwell, Hitchcock. Hitchcock, Orwell.
by Lee
It’s gone all Alfred Hitchcock in London.
Joggers are today being warned about violent crows in London parks after an attack left a man bloodied and needing hospital treatment.
Justin Keay was swooped on by two crows in what experts have called a severe case of “mobbing” - where two or more birds gang up on an assumed predator to keep them away from their young.
Now other runners are being told to stay well away from fledgling crows to avoid further attacks.
Mr Keay today told how he was running his usual route through Battersea Park when the birds swooped on him. The crows clawed his head with their talons and pecked at him furiously.
With blood gushing from his head, he had to fight for several minutes before they would stop attack - reminiscent of the Alfred Hitchcock film The Birds.
Mr Keay, 44, who was attacked at lunchtime on Wednesday, said: “These two massive crows just swooped down on me. I hit them but they wouldn’t get off my head.
“They kept on at me and I kept hitting them until I noticed blood was pouring down my neck. My T-shirt was drenched with blood.”
As a solution to the problem that is in line with their recent crime-fighting efforts. the London Police have proposed putting a security camera on every crow in the city, as well as a camera on every jogger. “If we have the ability to track the position of every person in London we will be given substantially better ability to fight this evil crow menace,” remarked a senior Scotland Yard official. Killing the birds, of course, was out of the question. “Privacy must always take a back seat to the fighting of airborne intruders, who must be permitted to continue their actions,” he continued.
Comments
There’s a cure for the crow problem...it’s called a SHOTGUN!
Somehow this reminds me of the border problem. Bush allows millions to illegally enter this country every year, but then boasts about how this isn’t a security problem because of his huge computers over at the Homeland Security department.
When I was in London I was not mauled by birds, however mt friend saw something interesting.
He was on his way to way to work from East Camden and a bird actually kamikazed a woman running. She was knocked out and bleeding from the bird flying into her and dying after flying directly into her temple.
a straight shot to the head my friend witnessed. the Underground has norhing on that.
Lee,
check your mail.
I sent you something I forgot about for about six years.
It’s the violent bird culture. Birds need to work on banning beaks, claws, and flying. Also, when a citizen uses undue force against a bird that was obviously stressed and a victim of human bigotry, the bird should have every right to sue the human for setting it off.
That same scenario played out in my head, Lee. Life is a farce.
I’ll tell you, as I’m sure is true for most everyone here, I would have grabbed that crow and broken its neck.
And I like crows - they’re intelligent and fun to observe - but one attacks me and its fucking dead.
My brother once shot a crow with a paintball gun, to knock it down, and comtinued to shoot it, but the damn thing wouldn’t die, so he grabbed a shovel and beat it to death. Bye bye birdie.
Remember Heckle and Jeckle? They looked like crows, but they were magpies, which have a completely different language, history and customs than crows.
What, are you anti-Magpie or sumthin’? You’re just a birdist, aren’t you?
But Lee and you agree on everything, so that must mean you are too!
Not on EVERYTHING. For example… I’m sure we prefer different salad dressings.
Ah ha! Lies! Everyone knows that republicans don’t eat salad! They eat foreign children, raw. And use the blood of innocents as gravy for their mashed potatoes. Nice try.
On a more on-topic note, I actually started reading 1984 the other day. The book seems interesting so far, but from what I’ve heard, Orwell was a bit of a kook.
Also, did anyone hear about the Orson Scott Card broohaha?
Look, it says right here on page 29 of the Official VRWC Operations Manual (TM) that we’re not supposed to admit shit like that, so remember that others can read these statements, too…
Actually going to see “The Birds “ on the big screen tonight at an old refusbished theater in Antioch.
In a recent update to this story, the NRA advised the UK police to remove the security cameras and instead suggest that citizens should all be armed with their own vicious crow. That way, if anyone comes into contact with a crow they launch their own in a self defensive mode. The “person crows” are trained to attack other vicious crows preventing injury to the person.
The RSPCA has suggested that crows should be licensed to protect people abusing them however some have argued this would infringe on citizens rights to protect themselves from wild crows. Michael Moore is meanwhile planning a trip to the UK to research the story for his next movie with the premis that Bush hates all animals.
Michael Moore is meanwhile planning a trip to the UK to research the story for his next movie with the premis that Bush hates all animals.
Karl Rove planned the attack so Moore would take a trip (if you know what I mean). =D
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Crows are bastards, man. Here’s a blog post about Tokyo. There was one incident in some country or another where crows burned a factory down by picking up a piece of burning trash from a garbage fire and flying it to the factory.
...They made it look like an accident.