Adventure is worthwhile - Aesop

My Ass Is A Flab Kitty

by Hal_10000

Whenever it’s a cold slushy day, you can always rely on PETA to come through with a nice helping of the stupid:

PETA - People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals - believes calling fish sea kittens will make sea food less appealing.

It wants to change the image of fish as slimy and slithery creatures by claiming they are similar to cuter, more popular animals. “Would people think twice about ordering fish sticks if they were called sea kitten sticks?” PETA asked on its website.

In a word? No.  In two words, hell no.

This is what happens when you spend your life as a starving vegan.  Your brain atrophies and you forget what it’s like to be a carnivore.  (Note to starving vegan friends: I’m ribbing you.  Mmmm.  Ribs.)

Lambs are awfully cute.  Delicious too.  I’ve always had a soft spot for ducks, especially roasted.  Pigs are smart and likable animals that make for tasty bacon.  I saw Chicken Run and went out for wings. Deer are beautiful creatures, especially in the form of venison.  Hell, I think cows are pretty cool—we used to have some grazing within sight of our home in Texas.  But when my friends and I sit down for steak, at least one of us makes mooing sounds (we’re not very mature).  I hope they’re making a reference to the animal we’re gorging on.

The thing is that I—and most meat-eaters—love animals.  I could spend all day at the zoo or at a farm.  I love that my kid is getting old enough to appreciate animals.

That does inform my attitude toward animal cruelty.  And I have issues with some of the methods used in industrial farming.  But I’m a carnivore, dammit.  I have these big teeth and these taste buds that have, over the course of millions of years (well, not personally), evolved to eat meat.  And I particularly love fish, especially in raw sushi form.  You could name it Fluffy Bunny Jesus Doctor Who Hot Chick Reagan and I’d still eat it.

Honestly, I sometimes think PETA exists just so bloggers like me can shoot sea kittens in a barrel.

Comments

Posted by on 01/09/09 at 01:56 PM from

I like PETA ...

... but I’m still eating my fucking fishsticks tonight.  Sometimes I think PETA forgets what “ethical treatment” means ... it means you don’t beat the shit out of your dog with a stick.

Posted by on 01/09/09 at 02:26 PM from

You like Dr. Who, Hal?  Nice!

Posted by on 01/09/09 at 02:46 PM from

This is what happens when you spend your life as a starving vegan.  Your brain atrophies and you forget what it’s like to be a carnivore.  (Note to starving vegan friends: I’m ribbing you.  Mmmm.  Ribs.)

Hal, This entire post is funny.  I’ve got my grin on for the weekend now.

Posted by on 01/09/09 at 04:36 PM from

My wife finds it slightly horrifying that I once named a pair of pigs I raised: BBQ & Picnic.

Cute guys - I used to scratch their ears.  Right up to the day I dressed them out and hauled them off to the butcher…

Posted by FPrefect on 01/09/09 at 04:59 PM from

Hey, I’m a member of PETA

People
Eating
Tasty
Animals

Posted by HARLEY on 01/09/09 at 05:23 PM from

My wife finds it slightly horrifying that I once named a pair of pigs I raised: BBQ & Picnic.

the 2 runts we first raised were named porkchop and bacon.

I wonder what a member of PETA would taste like?

hey anyone got a copy of “to serve man”?

Posted by HARLEY on 01/09/09 at 05:28 PM from

we had anotehr hog we named BJ it use to run around in our front yard and chase our St. Barnard, right up till the day dad led it to the garage shot it and skinned it.  The dog loved the leftovers.

Posted by on 01/09/09 at 07:29 PM from

I wonder what a member of PETA would taste like?

There’s a reason they call it “long pig”, and “tastes like chicken” isn’t it....

Posted by on 01/09/09 at 08:48 PM from

I’ve got To Serve Man: A Cookbook around somewhere.  Someday if PETA starts hanging around, I’ll haul it out and make sure to be reading it where they can see me, while giving them the old once-over…

I wonder how Mrs. Lovett’s Meat Pies actually were made?  There’s no recipe for meat pies in To Serve Man.

Posted by HARLEY on 01/09/09 at 09:18 PM from

There’s a reason they call it “long pig”, and “tastes like chicken” isn’t it....

LOL true… forgot about that.
but think about their diet, all that grain, and veggies, they got to be tender…

Posted by on 01/09/09 at 10:16 PM from

Pure organic, corn-fed free-range hippie? Lrr would approve.

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