if these limits may, at any time, be passed by those intended to be restrained?"
-- Chief Justice John Marshall, Marbury v. Madison, 1803
Loganberries
by Lee
From the You Can’t Make This Shit Up file:
A&E doctors are calling for a ban on long pointed kitchen knives to reduce deaths from stabbing.
A team from West Middlesex University Hospital said violent crime is on the increase - and kitchen knives are used in as many as half of all stabbings.
They argued many assaults are committed impulsively, prompted by alcohol and drugs, and a kitchen knife often makes an all too available weapon.
The research is published in the British Medical Journal.
The researchers said there was no reason for long pointed knives to be publicly available at all.
They consulted 10 top chefs from around the UK, and found such knives have little practical value in the kitchen.
None of the chefs felt such knives were essential, since the point of a short blade was just as useful when a sharp end was needed.
Where does it end? The UK is already a police state, with government cameras filming just about everything in true Orwellian fashion. So they ban guns, and criminals turn to knives. Now they want to ban knives? Where does it end? A broken bottle can make a hell of a weapon, are they going to ban glass bottles? When criminals turn from bottles to sharpened sticks, are they going to ban trees?
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. When the UK banned guns there was an immediate and dramatic increase in gun crime. Rather than recognizing the futility of banning weapons, they’re hoping for the same success with the knife ban. Here’s my prediction: this will do jack shit as far as reducing knife crime, and will accomplish nothing but pissing off the 99.9999999% of Britons who somehow manage to use a kitchen knife in a legal, appropriate manner.
This isn’t just the UK, either. Hot on the heels of their rousing gun banning success, Australia has called for all kinds of ridiculous bans. After a student shot a couple of his classmates with a crossbow, they implemented crossbow control legislation. Then criminal gangs started patrolling the streets with swords, so they enacted sword control. Again, I ask, where does it end?
Almost three years ago I made a point about Australian gun control, and I think it’s perfectly appropriate to repeat here.
If I remember correctly there were roughly 60 gun deaths in Australia last year. According to the CIA World Factbook Australia’s population is just under 20 million. That’s an insignificant amount of deaths by guns. The Australians should be heralding the success of their gun control policies, that in a country of 20 million people they only have a paltry 60 gun deaths per year. I have no figures to back this up, but I would be willing to bet money that more than 60 people die there each year from insect and animal bites. From a strictly numerical standpoint their existing gun control laws are working exceptionally well for them.
So why the hysteria every time someone gets shot?
They appear to be trying to achieve the unachievable—a country in which nobody dies from a gunshot. And they are willing to do anything to achieve that goal, including taking pistols away from sportsmen. As anyone who has done even the most cursory evaluation of gun control statistics in this country can tell you, this is going to do absolutely nothing to solve what miniscule gun problem they have there. All it is going to do is deny sportsmen the instruments with which to shoot, and provide incentives for ciminals to increase their activity against an unarmed population.
I’ve been proven right so many times it isn’t even funny, and yet countries like Britain and Australia honestly believe that banning everything in the country is the best way to solve crime. Criminals use a variety of tools in the commission of their crimes. No matter what the tool, the common denominator in all crime is the criminal. If you are stabbed through the heart by a sharp knife, will you be any less dead than if you were shot through the heart by a bullet? Why is it that the United States has seen a steady decline in violent crime over the past quarter century, while all these “enlightened” countries have seen violent crime steadily increase? The implements of crime are nothing more than its symptoms; you don’t cure a disease by treating its symptoms, you go after the cause, which is always the criminal himself.
(And for those who might have missed it the first time, here’s a rather detailed post I wrote to an Australian reader explaining the history of and justification for the Second Amendment.)
Also, I would be totally remiss if I didn’t quote Monty Python’s famous Self Defense Against Fresh Fruit sketch.
Right. Now, self-defence. Tonight I shall be carrying on from where we got to last week when I was showing you how to defend yourselves against anyone who attacks you with armed with a piece of fresh fruit.
(Grumbles from all)
Palin:
Oh, you promised you wouldn’t do fruit this week.
Sgt.:
What do you mean?
Jones:
We’ve done fruit the last nine weeks.
Sgt.:
What’s wrong with fruit? You think you know it all, eh?
Palin:
Can’t we do something else?
Idle (Welsh):
Like someone who attacks you with a pointed stick?
Sgt.:
Pointed stick? Oh, oh, oh. We want to learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh? Well I’ll tell you something my lad. When you’re walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don’t come crying to me! Now, the passion fruit. When your assailant lunges at you with a passion fruit...
It’s funny because it’s true. Pretty soon British criminals are going to be going after victims with a bunch of loganberries, and some moron will call for legislation to ban them. Only when everyone is locked in a closet 24 hours a day, with a police video camera monitoring their every move, will the British people truly be considered safe.
What idiots.
Comments
Speaking of stupid moves, it’s another smooth move by our neighbors to the north!
But Lee! Washington D.C. has banned handguns and it has become a Utopia.
I think they should ban fists. A recent study of violent crime in New York city showed that most people are injured or killed by fists during violent crimes. Interestingly assault weapons accounted for the fewest number of deaths. This clearly shows the wisdom of banning assault weapons (ie lowest number of deaths), had they only banned fists many hundreds of people could have been saved.
You Can’t Make This Shit Up
I have to admit that I looked at the URL to see if this story was not a joke.
*shakes head*
well if we executed anyone that commits a violent crime, that will slow down repeat offenders a bit…
what confesses me is that these doctors are supposed to be “educated”, and they suggest shit like this.
I’ve heard of violent attacks from clouds. Yes, sometimes they go black and throw lightning bolts at people. I don’t think we should ban clouds because they are individuals. We should just ask them to remain over the ocean or unpopulated areas when they turn black.
On second thought, I’ve heard that rocks from space could hit someone. Since clouds and rocks from space and they have to travel through the sky, we should ban the sky. Yes, let’s ban the sky.
jf
M.D.
And, if she weighs more than a duck, she’s a witch!!!! Burn the witch.
God I love being a man of science.
You left out the best part of the skit which is the end.
Palin goes at the sgt with a banana and the sgt pulls out a gun and shoots his ass.
I knew it, I have been telling people for years, first the gun ban, then the knife ban, what’s next the rock ban, the boulder ban, no stone under 1/2 an inch in size. This is crazy.
The researchers said there was no reason for long pointed knives to be publicly available at all.
They consulted 10 top chefs from around the UK, and found such knives have little practical value in the kitchen.
None of the chefs felt such knives were essential, since the point of a short blade was just as useful when a sharp end was needed.
And when big knives are banned and people realize that smaller knives work just as well, will those be banned as well? What rating system do you use? If it can core an apple, it’s legal, but if it can do it without being an enormous pain in the ass, it’s illegal?
After that they’ll ban fists, hands (no more bitch-slaps), feet, knees, saliva, offensive words, words,........................... ...
.
...thoughts…
Or, they can just forget all about that shit, let citizens arm themselves, allow people to exercize their self-defense (defence) rights, get rid of some goblins, allow the “market” to stabilize itself, and live in a low crime country.
Yeesh what happens when these people turn on the hardware store? How about a cordless circular saw or a chainsaw? How about a freaking crowbar or a hammer. Do these people have any idea what a man can do with just a hammer? Are there any houses that don’t have hammers? I’ve got like 8! How about an ax or a hatchet? Honestly I have a pair of 4 foot clamps that are real heavy on one end and have a stainless steel shaft. Either one of those could be use to club someone to death! How about a cordless drill? How about a reciprocating saw? I could go on all day!
The scariest thing is that the clueless limousine liberal airheads who push this kind of legislation have probably never been to a hardware store. This is just another example of liberals having no regard for ordinary people.
How do these chefs propose carving a roast, or halving a watermelon or whatever without a long pointed knife? No, seriously.
Maybe they’ll make professional chefs register their cutlery.
If liberals have their way, our whole society will be completely childproofed and everything we use will be made out of the same foam they make nerf balls out of.
The list of items to ban:
1. screwdrivers (phillips/flat end/star/etc.)
2. metal spatulas (any type--all can be sharpened)
3. metal tea spoons (long, can be sharpened)
4. Any plastic object that can be elongated and sharpened
5. any metal object that can be elongated and sharpened
How far can it go? From Here to Eternity. And back. With lots of victims’ dead bodies for the policeto investigate.
The point is, there will always be perps. The point is to thin out the perps. Not aid in their increase! So, a chicken in every pot, two cars in every garage, a handgun stuffed down everyone’s pants or panties. The first year may be bloody. The subsequent ones will not. A new found respect. Just like in the South. It’s amazing how gracious and thoughtful people become when they think everyone has a gun. On them.
1. screwdrivers (phillips/flat end/star/etc.) = nerf
2. metal spatulas (any type--all can be sharpened) = nerf
3. metal tea spoons (long, can be sharpened) = nerf
4. Any plastic object that can be elongated and sharpened = nerf
5. any metal object that can be elongated and sharpened = nerf
See isn’t the world a better place?
This reminds me about reading the local paper about a year ago. (btw I live in Canada) They were discussing putting in video cameras in our city to catch people that run red lights. All they kept saying was how it would make us all safer and that’s what’s important to be safer. Also it would bring in revenue for the city.
I so fucking hate this mentality. Everyday I see how my country is turning into a benevolent facist dictatorship. Too many Canadians will sell their freedom for a little security. They won’t do a fucking thing to change health care and any mention of it brings the old “American two-tier” scape goat. I was too young to remember when the current government first came to power. But even with proven corruption allegations, we can’t get rid of the motherfuckers. Why? Because the government has a stranglehold on power. However, I’m pretty sure if we did have an election call the same government would be in power. Why? Because Canadians want their security and would sooner get used to things then change.
Sorry, I know it’s off topic but I had to rant. I’ll probably be executed shortly for speaking against the government to “Outsiders”.
I’ve heard of violent attacks from clouds. Yes, sometimes they go black and throw lightning bolts at people. I don’t think we should ban clouds because they are individuals. We should just ask them to remain over the ocean or unpopulated areas when they turn black.
How come you go off on Black Clouds? That’s profiling you racist. We all know that the Black clouds only kill people because the white clouds oppress them.
So basically, we should destroy everything: trees, etc. And pour molten foam all over the earth and then let it dry, creating a soft surface everywhere. Mountains and tall buildings would be leveled so you can’t push anyone off of them. The ocean will be filled withg quicrete and then covered with foam to provent drowning deaths. Everyone will be naked and have their hands and feet surgically bound together. Mouths wired shut.
Then we will have our crime free Utopia!
or…
They could ban feelings like in Equilibrium Then we would have peace. And dudes who kill “sense offenders” with sweet gun moves. And live out a terrible movie.
-andrew
jf-
Outrageously liberate governments spawn two types of people: the complacent drones who try to milk the system, and rugged individualists like yourself who reject the paternalism of liberal socialist fascism. I see America heading down the path of socialism and Mr. Bush has not done enough to stop it.
The hell with ‘em all. I say we stick to the libertarian values of the original Constitution.
Or, they can just forget all about that shit, let citizens arm themselves, allow people to exercize their self-defense (defence) rights, get rid of some goblins, allow the “market” to stabilize itself, and live in a low crime country.
Considering how well thats working in the US, think we will take a pass.
That they are even talking about this, to me shows that gun control is working. While its bad that people carry knives around with them, its a hell of a lot better than people carrying guns; it takes a lot more to kill someone with a knive than a gun.
I think banning types of knives in your own house is crazy, but banning the carrying of knives in public places, I have no problem with. There is however an issue with the sikh community who carry serimonial swords/knives.
Bah humbug to it all. Disempowering LAW ABIDING citizens does nothing to desempower criminals.
Padders, for Christ sake, what are you talking about!
Here in the US, it works perfectly. The only places it doesn’t work as well are those were there are some local restrictions on the Right to Keep and Bear Arms. And the places where it does not work at all is where guns are banned. Because you can ban them, and chances are, will prevent law abiding citizens from using them to defend themselves and their families. As you know, Criminals are criminals because they don’t follow the law, right?
That they are even talking about this, to me shows that gun control is working.
No, it’s because they are just looking for other things to ban, because banning guns in London did NOTHING to actually reduce any crime. On the contrary, the crime rates went up.
I mean, just look at how safe the city of Washington, DC, is - some of the most draconian gun control laws on the planet, yet they are in continual competition for “Murder Capitol, USA” (along with other “models of gun control").
When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.
They could ban feelings like in Equilibrium Then we would have peace. And dudes who kill “sense offenders” with sweet gun moves. And live out a terrible movie.
Aw c’mon.. I liked that movie. Sure it wasn’t a great movie, but it was entertaining, and it was cool to see someone actually come up with a martial art based around firearms rather then either ignoring them or having someone continually kick the ass of poeple far better armed.
Here in the US, it works perfectly. The only places it doesn’t work as well are those were there are some local restrictions on the Right to Keep and Bear Arms. And the places where it does not work at all is where guns are banned. Because you can ban them, and chances are, will prevent law abiding citizens from using them to defend themselves and their families. As you know, Criminals are criminals because they don’t follow the law, right?
US states with liberal gun policies still have much higher gun death rates than the UK. Again, I think will pass on your solution, its something that istn’t even on the radar as something people want in the UK.
No, it’s because they are just looking for other things to ban, because banning guns in London did NOTHING to actually reduce any crime. On the contrary, the crime rates went up.
Gun crimes where rising, hence the tougher legislation. They might be now rising faster had it not been for the legislation. They are now targetting the “its cool to carry a gun around” attitude with mandatory sentances for carrying guns - hopefully that will help.
I mean, just look at how safe the city of Washington, DC, is - some of the most draconian gun control laws on the planet, yet they are in continual competition for “Murder Capitol, USA” (along with other “models of gun control").
Its a bit different in the UK though. You ban having a gun in Washington, and someone drives to the nearest state that lets you walk into a shop and buy one. In the UK you have to get guns through ports or the channel tunnel. This is a lot harder. There are simply a hell of a lot less guns around, so actually removing guns from circulation has an affect.
I might agree that in the US it is a lost cause. There are so many guns already, that as you say removing them from law abidingg citizens won’t really change much. Its not the same in the UK at all. Remember our police don’t even feel the need to carry guns for most situations, a situation they continually vote for.
Next entry: Nine Inch Dick
Previous entry: Four Year Plan
So....When......are they gonna lock the assholes up that commit the crimes, instead of letting them out in the public? I think, that if they are locked up for the sentence for the crime they commit, that they might have a second thought about it, although, there isn’t enough jail space for these clowns that do this crap, that is why they are being kid-gloved with the justice system. Unbelievable, isnt it? And it just goes on, and on, and on, and on..........................................