Freedom of Press is limited to those who own one - H.L. Mencken

Kevinmkr Bowl
by Manwhore

First of all, I wanted to apologize to kevinmkr for a rad post about the bowls he went to. I hope to make up for it by allowing our resident SI commenter to predict the biggest game of the year. So, I’m sure you are all dying to know how Kevin has predicted the SuperBowl (given his college game accuracy would raise an eyebrow in the Italian mafia). Ladies and germs I give you the Kevinmkr Bowl.
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In just over 48 hours, millions of citizens across the country will be gathered in small groups, indulging in beer and potato chips and sitting, fixated, around their televisions. Watching in suspense, these people will anxiously await the intrigue and heart-pounding action, occasionally laughing, shouting, and perhaps even booing. And that’s just for the commercials.

This years Super Bowl offers some added intrigue as the New England Patriots attempt to become the first team since the 1972 Miami Dolphins to finish the season undefeated. In fact, with a victory on Sunday, they will finish the best season on record. Ever. A loss to the New York Giants, on the other hand, could potentially tarnish a season that already featured a very close game between the two – a game in which the Giants actually held a 12 point lead with 16 minutes remaining in regulation before eventually losing by a field goal. Many people are already handing this game to the Patriots, who are currently favored to win by 12, but the Giants have a very capable team and have demonstrated an added toughness in the playoffs which could be the determining factor as to whether or not they hoist the Lombardi Trophy.

Why the Patriots are the favorites:

The obvious answers first…..Tom Brady and Randy Moss. Tom Brady is quite possibly the best quarterback in the game right now and currently leads the NFL in HCIs (Hot Celebrity Impregnations). Randy Moss, who has been sporting quite a lumberjack beard lately, simply cannot be contained. Double or triple cover him, and you’ll open up Stallworth, Welker, and the rest of the explosive receiving corp to eat up yardage and push down the field. Let your guard down once, however, and you’ll see Brady heave one to Moss for a back-breaking big yardage TD.

Why the Giants can pull off the upset:

Not to jump on the bandwagon here, but it starts and ends with Eli “The Other” Manning. The Giants are deep and are capable of pulling out a quick-attack offense to rapidly put points on the board. They also have a defense that can confound even the greatest of offensive coordinators. If Eli can stay poised, get the ball away and not take any critical sacks, he’ll find plenty of opportunities to feed the Michigan Boys (Plaxico Burress and Amani Toomer), as well as the rumbling tight end knucklehead, Jeremy Shockey.

What the Patriots can hope for:

That their potent offense, which was sluggish for most of the game in New York, heats up in the Arizona sun. Assuming that the whole Brady “foot cast” gossip is overblown, this shouldn’t be an issue and it is likely to make the difference in this matchup.

What the Giants can hope for:

That Eli continues to channel his Manning genetics and that Tynes has left his kicking woes frozen to the tundra in Green Bay.
That Brady *really did* hurt his ankle….and maybe his right arm........and knee.....and maybe has a really really bad cold.

If all else fails, the Giants just might have a trick up their sleeves…….

Ultimately, I think the game comes down to this: both teams have the talent to win. However, the Patriots have the experience, as well as the more consistent offense, whereas the Giants are woefully dependent on Eli’s performance. If the Giants can play a flawless game, and New England stumbles a few times, Eli could end up going to Disney World. This could be his chance to prove us all of his detractors wrong, but I just don’t seem him going four quarters without cracking.

New England 42, New York 31

As an aside, let’s just hope that future Super Bowls don’t get banned “for our own good”.
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There you have it from our resident football expert. Now, none of you go off and bet on this advice, and Kevin and I have discussed a tailgate party thread on Sunday.... Forn ow you have to salivate on the words of the kevinoracle…

Update:

For anyone down with the tailgate party idea, I wanted to ask if you have a preference toward trivia. I wanted to do Superbowl commercial trivia, given it’s impact on the game. Does that sound fun or lame?

Posted by Manwhore on 02/01/08 at 11:06 PM (Discuss this in the forums)

Comments

Posted by dwex on 02/02/08 at 05:50 AM from

Thanks for screwing up my weekend. Now I have no reason to watch the game :(

Posted by on 02/02/08 at 09:08 AM from

Kevin is going to be ticked, he wanted the first post.
For all of the unwashed out there, he did a terrific post on his bowl travails, complete with pictures, he is a “fan” in every sense of the word.

Good job, Manwhore, nice commentary, if I could add just a few things.

Reasons will Pats will win:
Belichick will supplant Lombardi as the best coach ever, best in keeping his players focused on the goals as hand, best at minimizing distractions (Randy Moss in trouble with the law), and best at getting his players up and ready game in and game out.
Brady (sorry Montana) is the best quarterback in history right now. His numbers this year were off the charts.Just when you say he can’t improve, he does.
What, no dap for the defense?
Players like Vrabel, Harris, Bruschi, And Seau know their days are numbered, this is will probably be their swan song so they will be up for this game.

Why Giants will win:
This is harder, but how about the fact the Eli is playing out of his mind, their defense is better than the Pats,and Burris already predicted a win, if Joe Willy could do it, right?

I predict this will be the most watched superbowl ever. Some good commercials (Victoria Secret) are also on tap and, at least the Rolling Stones aren’t preforming at half time. I guess we can bank on no wardrobe malfunctions with Tom Petty.

Posted by on 02/02/08 at 09:10 AM from

OH, my pick.......Pats 28, Giants 24.

Posted by on 02/02/08 at 09:35 AM from

While I sorta want the Patriots to win (since Seattle or Dallas isn’t playing I don’t really care, and I always want the Bronco’s to suffer humiliating defeats), for me the big issue is how much of a suck blowout the game turns into.

I hate SuperBowl games where one team acts as if someone turned loose a battalion of hookers in the hotel, armed with beer and weed, at 3:00 AM, or worse yet, paid them all to stand around on the field picking their noses while the other team runs up a billion point lead in the first ten minutes of the game.

Considering that the in last couple years even the commercials have sucked - the game itself needs to be awesome.

Posted by JimK on 02/02/08 at 12:50 PM from

Moss is a factor for exactly the reasons mentioned in the post. They have to cover him on every play. The Pats have been totally rope-a-doping everyone in the second half of the season with Moss. He pulls double and triple coverage deep, and meanwhile Welker is so fast across the middle that Brady can dump 10-15 yard passes to him all day long. He’s the real star of the receiving squad. I love that little bastard. :)

Meanwhile Maroney, Faulk and Gaffney are catching passes like they are all starting receivers (well, Gaffney is, but you get my point). Plus Maroney can move his ass on the ground. As can Faulk and Evans when needed.

I say Pats win 35-21 with Maroney and Welker providing the lion’s share of scoring. If Wes doesn’t get in the end zone, he will make the lion’s share of first down made in the air.

BTW, who would have ever imagined that Randy “Mouth Almighty/Inmate Number 643100923” Moss would be so well-behaved and such a low-key player in the latter half of the season? The man is a changed human being. Belichick is some kind of swami or some shit. )

As for Big Blue...I give them respect. Eli is playing WAY above his pay grade these days. He has all the tools to be in the same category as his brother in the future. They can move the ball, but Eli might crack and manage his time poorly as he is wont to do, being a bit young and somewhat easily rattled. Plus the Pats can hold the Giants to FGs and the opposite isn’t true. The Pats are that machine that stumbles but never falls, and they can capitalize on mistakes like no one else since Montana led the Niners. Giants make one mistake and the Pats can score 7. Two mistakes equal 14, and so on. Asante Samuel will be hunting Eli’s passes all day. One of them is coming down for the Pats, you watch. :)

Speaking of D, I hope they play Rodney as a pass rusher. He can scare the shit out of Eli if he plays pressure right behind the old men (Vrabel and Seau). He always seems fairly ineffectual when he plays midfield or deep. When they use him like another linebacker he makes plays.

At least this has every chance of being a good game. I’m really looking forward to it.

Posted by on 02/02/08 at 04:03 PM from

Two links were missing from the original post:

The Giants Secret Weapon

and

”for our own good”.....

Rich, I just read this morning that Burress is still hurting and may not play.....that would hurt the Giants quite a bit. Also, good obsesrvation on my defense snub. However, you made probably the best point about the Patriot veterans that could have been made. Seau, especially, is probably nearing the end and Bruschi is playing on borrowed time since that stroke in 2005. This could play as much of a factor as anything that I listed. Nice point. Also, thanks for the kind words on the college bowl post.

One final observation—GoDaddy.com is going to mess with us regarding their “sexy Danica Patrick” commerical, I just know it. I am preparing myself to be disappointed. :/

Posted by on 02/02/08 at 04:52 PM from

One final observation—GoDaddy.com is going to mess with us regarding their “sexy Danica Patrick” commerical, I just know it. I am preparing myself to be disappointed. :/

They would be hard pressed to top this.
Best commercial ever.
If you go to godaddy.com site you can preview their other “keepers”.

Posted by on 02/03/08 at 12:47 AM from

Something tells me it won’t be that close. Of course, I’ve watched at most 45 minutes of football this season so once again, I’m talking out of my ass.

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