Forms of Offense
by
I have resolved to be as offensive as I possibly can about Barack Obama’s mother.
Why would I do such a thing, you ask? What would motivate me to be so petty, so classless, so crude? Why would even I, as vulgar and snappish as I can be, say something like “Obama and his dead mother? There are TWO stiffs in this scene!”? The answer is below the cut. (As is an edit made later.)
Edit: Also, right up front, I’ll also put my apology to Salinger up here. I don’t agree with him, I don’t like him, but I went too far in my responses to him and that was my bad. I feel bad about it and I’m sorry.
Dear Friend:
Thank you for contacting me. I have heard from countless Americans struggling to afford health insurance and health professionals striving to provide care. I appreciate your perspective. There is broad consensus among the American people on the need for affordable, high-quality health care. The rising cost of health care is the most pressing financial challenge for families and for our Nation, and controlling this cost is essential to bringing down the Federal deficits we inherited. Now is the time to move forward, and I am committed to getting health care reform done this year.
Since I took office, we have done more to advance the cause of health care reform than we have in the previous decade. In February, I signed H.R. 2 to provide coverage for millions of children through the Children’s Health Insurance Program. I also signed the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act to make key investments in computerized medical records and preventive services.
Looking forward, we will take additional steps to lower costs, expand coverage, and improve the quality of health care. My 2010 Budget makes a major down payment on health care reform, funded by implementing efficiencies in government health care spending and restoring a sense of fairness and balance to our tax code. There are tough choices to be made, and I will bring businesses and workers, health care providers and patients, and Democrats and Republicans together to create a system that delivers better care and puts the Nation on a much sounder long-term fiscal path. To learn more about my agenda and share a personal story, please join me online at: www.healthreform.gov. For further information on health care and assistance that may be available to you, you may call 1-800-FEDINFO or visit: www.usa.gov.
I share the sense of urgency that millions of Americans have voiced. I watched as my ailing mother struggled with stacks of insurance forms in the last moments of her life. This is not who we are as a Nation; together, we will fix it.
Sincerely,
Barack Obama
To be a part of our agenda for change, join us at www.WhiteHouse.gov
This is apparently the form letter Obama is having sent out to people who emailed in with concerns about healthcare, many using his little “Report the dissidents! ... who lie about healthcare” form, I believe. (Hm, is “having sent out” too personal? Perhaps “Okayed the use of his name on”?) The relevant part is bolded.
You see, I simply don’t believe that it’s possible for me to be as offensive about Obama’s mother as he himself has been. Her own son has her strapped to the front of his healthcare reform train as a bloated corpse of a figurehead. If you’ve ever watched the deleted scenes on the Serenity DVD, originally that skeleton strapped across the front of the ship was to be Shepherd Book himself. Mal, half-insane and on a tear, declared with wild eyes “He’s our friend, he deserves a special place of honor.” What was too extreme for Joss Whedon apparently works for Barack Obama, though. I can make all the necrophilia jokes I want, but how the fuck do I even come close to topping that? By being openly offensive, it draws attention to the offense-disguised-as-reverence.
Of course, this isn’t exactly the Obama administration’s first brush with offensive form letters. There’s this little incident, where a woman who poured out her heart in a long letter to then President-Elect Obama (who had a whole office established for being President-Elect, you’d think he could have gotten to this) eventually got a form letter response less empathetic and more dismissive than I usually get from an open trouble ticket with my internet provider. I guess Obama’s not quite so eager to jump right into the matter of hate crimes when it’s black guys spray-painting the racist graffiti and killing people. And I guess when President Bush refuses to meet with grieving parents as often as the parents like, he’s an evil heartless bastard, but it’s the kind of Hope and Change we needed that those grieving parents now get form letters.
Apparently, Obama prefers to save his personal attention and letter-writing for touching letters to his daughters… which are, for some reason, posted as open letters in Parade Magazine. Something seems familiar here… I don’t know, for some reason the phrase “We call him Checkers” keeps running through my mind.
Anyhoo. Obama’s mother was a bitch and she probably doesn’t actually know which of the many Johns it was that was actually Barry’s daddeh. ... Nope, still not as offensive!
EDIT:
Actually, on further thought, I do feel bad about this. Not because of the snapping at me in the comments… more just because I look at the post and I don’t really like it. It’s not necessarily that I feel bad for making it, but more that I just can’t gel with it. I think the point still stands that it would be hard to be more offensive than Obama using his mother’s life (and death) as a flag to wave for healthcare reform (especially in light of the fact that he doesn’t actually seem to give a shit about most of his family), but I just can’t do it.
In part because there’s just not the real anger there. Obama’s fucking the country royal, but it’s not like it’s personal, quite. Some insults you save for someone personally calling you out. The “your mom” is one of them. I’m not going to go around insulting Barack’s momma. Most likely because I wouldn’t even remember to. He’ll never read it, it won’t affect him, and he wouldn’t get the point anyway. And I just don’t… get anything from it. I don’t get any enjoyment out of it. Dammitall, I actually feel kinda bad about it. Curse this caring heart, next time I reincarnate I’m coming back as a communist!
I still believe that openly insulting his mother isn’t as offensive as him trying to invoke her death for political gain. But eh. I’m not gonna do it, or at least go out of my way to do it.
Besides, if I really want to get everyone really, really pissed off, there’s still racial remarks!
Comments
Damn, man, I wouldn’t go that far.
I would. I haven’t even gone as far as I could. ... Yet.
Two wrongs don’t make a right
Worked for the Black Nationalists.
Yes. Politicians have never ever used personal tragedy to advance an agenda. What a unique event in American history!
I thought mentioning Kennedy last night was a bit tasteless but personal anecdotes are where most of the debate has been. I think you’re over-reacting a bit.
Of course, that now makes me a Obama-bot, I guess, because I can’t work up the OUTRAGE!!! over anything and everything he does.
Of course, that now makes me a Obama-bot, I guess, because I can’t work up the OUTRAGE!!! over anything and everything he does.
Are you really this stupid, or is ACORN just paying you to be?
You know - I was just talking about this kind of stuff while I was driving with my wife. Why do folks seem to think it is alright to be so viciously mean?
This sort of aligns with my comment on the WTF post. I believe boils down to anonymity. Wilson was called out because he lost his anonymity – he was the guy at the party that says something really crass and loud just as the music was changing and everyone hears.
The intertubes have given everyone the opportunity to say whatever they want anonymously – never having to be accountable for their rants.
This is precisely why I use my real name – I have nothing to hide.
Now Rann – you got all bent out of shape when I made a disparaging comment about the worth of fan fiction. It’s my opinion – I think the genre is loaded with really poor writing. You found my opinion to be insulting to you and used it as justification for your crass comments including accusing me of pedophilia.
I think there is a big difference between citing a real world example of one’s mother’s tribulations with insurance during a terminal illness and shoving a flag up said mother’s privates. Have you no shame?
Don’t even try any bullshit hasn’t Obama any shame using his daughter’s letters or his mother’s illness as a defense – I can’t even imagine the mind that would come up with something as tactless as your impaling scenario.
This I attribute to anonymity. I doubt very seriously that you would dare say anything like this in public to anyone’s face. I’ll tell ya this – you ever say something like that about my mother in the same room with me you’d be sweeping up your teeth with a dust broom.
Cue the person hiding behind the pseudonym Rann’s crass comment about my mom…
Why do folks seem to think it is alright to be so viciously mean?
Explain to me why I should have more respect for Obama’s mother than he does.
Now Rann – you got all bent out of shape when I made a disparaging comment about the worth of fan fiction.
Heh, no. I know the script in your head said I would, but that never happened. The comments are there to show it. I just continued mocking you like always. There was no “justification” for my comments about how you rape kids… I’m just insulting you. Because you’re a loser. And I hate you.
And you rape kids.
Cue the person hiding behind the pseudonym Rann’s crass comment about my mom…
Cue the person hiding behind the pseudonym salinger playing Internet Tough Guy.
Also, your mother’s a two-dollar whore.
Gimme the rest of your name, Sally, and throw me your phone number. I’ll gladly tell it to you over voice, and you can come meet me any time you like to try and punch my teeth in.
(I hear your mom didn’t have any teeth. Great gumjobs, cheapest in town.)
Oh, wait, nevermind, you’ve got your little webpage, don’t you?
... Oh-em-gee, ell-oh-ell, what is this self-sucking bullshit?
In this time he has become a fixture in the performance poetry and education community performing and teaching in over 135 cities in 21 countries.
A fixture? Ahahaha oh my, you really wrote this about yourself? Oh man…
The focus of my work tends to be my everyday life, my family, my daily pursuits punctuated by minor epiphanies.
Which epiphany led you to spending your oh-so-valuable time playing Political Crusader on blogs and threatening to beat up guys who say bad things about your mom, if only, oh if only they weren’t on teh internets! Oh, if only your “poetry slam” group could see you now…
(And dubyoo-tee-eff is a “poetry slam”? Is that where emo kids and their pedo teacher try and pretend they’re badasses like in a rap battle?)
im still sick coughing so hard between laughing
oh god oh god its so pretentious and juvenile hahahahaa ohhh fuck
bustin’ up the sunsank horizon christ jesus my sides hurt
sallys doing it hes beating me up i think im gonna die oh god hahahahaha
its so up its own ass its inspecting its own colon ahahadkgnsdjghfuck
Seriously, Rann, this is the most retarded shit I’ve ever seen. Stop it. Salinger may be dumb, but clicking his name does appear to link to ‘the actual him.’ This is a pissing contest that’s already inappropriate, disgusting, and out of control. It’s not nearly as terrible for someone who knew and loved a dead person to speak of their last days for their own purposes than for you to turn one you didn’t know into a cartoon character.
JimK, seriously, please stop this before it really happens. All Rann is going to do is give ammo to the Kos types that think we’re all like that anyway.
Salinger may be dumb, but clicking his name does appear to link to ‘the actual him.’
Yeah, my bad there, I never thought to click on it. I should’ve held off though, now I can’t stop the coughing fit laughing at his poetry induce.
It’s not nearly as terrible for someone who knew and loved a dead person to speak of their last days for their own purposes than for you to turn one you didn’t know into a cartoon character.
I disagree.
JimK, seriously, please stop this before it really happens. All Rann is going to do is give ammo to the Kos types that think we’re all like that anyway.
Man, fuck you and your couch. I told JimK about a billion times I’d be an argumentative, pissy, mean poster. He’s seen how I get for years before he ever offered me this job. This isn’t new info at all.
And please, like the Kos types need any ammo. Being sweet and nice doesn’t exactly get you any points with them.
And please, like the Kos types need any ammo. Being sweet and nice doesn’t exactly get you any points with them.
It doesn’t. You’re right about that. But what you’re saying gets attention from ordinary people who would be just as likely to sympathize with you as them, if you weren’t being a ridiculous over the top prick about it. Associating with you right now does as much for any conservative cause as being lumped in with the KKK. Just fucking stop it.
Associating with you right now does as much for any conservative cause as being lumped in with the KKK.
Little over-the-top there, aren’t’cha, chief? Kiss MY ass.
Just fucking stop it.
Actually, know what, I’m gonna.
Not because of what you said. (I hate having to add that, because it seems phony.) But rather because on further thought I think I let the point run away with me. I’m also still in the midst of an illness that has left me short on sleep and running even higher on the emotional scale as usual.
So, I will say this, as well as the edit I made up there. I still think the point stands. I still don’t think any of what I said is more offensive than what Obama’s done. (Many things Obama’s done.) However, I’m not going to do it.
Also, Salinger, I apologize. I really hate that argument that you made. I say a ton of shit, but I have always prided myself on the fact that I would say it straight up to anyone. My anonymity is not some shield of protection against angry people coming to beat me up, it’s just a sensible precaution to keep my online life and my real life separate. People can be far more vicious than I have been, and go on great crusades against those who disagree with them, so I like to have some protection from that.
However, I went too far in my response to you with it. You needled me and challenged me, and I felt like I had to rise to the challenge, and went too over-the-top in doing so. I apologize. If you like I will call you again and apologize that way too, because that was stupid and petty of me, and I’m sorry.
I still don’t think any of what I said is more offensive than what Obama’s done. (Many things Obama’s done.) However, I’m not going to do it.
Be offended by what he’s doing to the country, but what he does or doesn’t say about his mom is totally up to him.
Not because of what you said. (I hate having to add that, because it seems phony.)
That’s fine.
I’m also still in the midst of an illness that has left me short on sleep and running even higher on the emotional scale as usual.
I hope you feel better. Think about what I said, though. Words matter, and what someone makes out of your words often matters more than what you said. Having the KKK described as conservative bothers me a lot. Likewise having a conservative pretend to make a point by resorting to yo mama jokes bothers me, too. Fearlessly point out what he did, but don’t assume that you can say what you want from what you see as a similar level and have it come across as anything but mean.
Fearlessly point out what he did, but don’t assume that you can say what you want from what you see as a similar level and have it come across as anything but mean.
...
Gah… fucking… god damn twitch in my eye… ffffffBEHAVE!
*twitch*
... Ahem. Duly noted.
Gah… fucking… god damn twitch in my eye… ffffffBEHAVE!
I’m not trying to be a dick about it, I’m just saying that you shouldn’t say things that will harm your cause more than help it. You aren’t going to prevent socialized healthcare in the US by telling jokes about Obama’s dead mother.
I know, I was trying to be humorous about my instinctive reaction to being told I shouldn’t say whatever crosses my lobes.
Yeah, my bad there, I never thought to click on it. I should’ve held off though, now I can’t stop the coughing fit laughing at his poetry induce.
I just had to check this out - cripes, he’s even worse than I thought. I actually feel sort of sorry for him now.....
You needled me and challenged me, and I felt like I had to rise to the challenge, and went too over-the-top in doing so. I apologize.
Apology accepted. You need to check that anger buddy - take some time before you hit submit - you’re posting to real live folks. When my wife asked who called I told her a wrong number ‘cause it woulda’ scared the fuck out of her.
Oh yeah - the piece you linked to was written to teach high school kids metaphor - I think it does the job as have the many teachers who have used it.
I actually feel sort of sorry for him now.....
Why? I absolutely love what I do for a living - I travel the world on other people’s dime and when I get there they are very happy to see me.
Remember, I did your job for twenty years - I have sympathy for you S.O.
‘nuff said.
When my wife asked who called I told her a wrong number ‘cause it woulda’ scared the fuck out of her.
Totally serious here, man, but why the fuck do you do that to yourself? Or to her?
What if I hadn’t been just some guy having an attack of dickishness and rising to a challenge you issued? What if I had been some honest-to-god sociopath who didn’t just want to be a bit of a jerk over it?
I mean, it’s not like I had to go digging with specialized programs, I just hit the Contact page on your site and there the number was. I figured when it said “Voice Mail” you just had some voice mail service separately, I didn’t expect to get your fucking cellphone.
You seem to pride yourself on being up front and not hiding behind a pseudonym, but that’s really dangerous, especially when you make so much of your information public. I just wanted to prove that yes, I would say it right to you, that was my only motivation. But there are plenty of people out there that wouldn’t just be satisfied with a bit of juvenile prickishness and hanging up.
What if it had been someone that was seriously, actually angry instead of just minorly aggravated? Or an obsessed stalker? Some right-wing nutjob who decided that throwing a bomb into the middle of one of your poetry classes would serve you right for not voting McCain?
Nutjob aside, what if it had been someone seriously vindictive? What if you disagreed with someone who decided to use that info on your page to call your local paper and say they saw you coming out of a hotel with one of your students? Or called one of the schools where you go and said that my little sister came home and said you asked her if she had pubes yet? That could seriously fuck with your life, your family’s lives, your students’ lives…
This stuff happens. Okay, honestly, I hear of it coming from leftwing and/or fannish circles more often, but there are plenty of people out there willing to try and fuck up your real life just for online shit.
You need to think of not just your safety, but the safety of your family and your students, dude. Get an actual pseudonym to use on blogs and forums and stuff, and have them change that contact info. It was a dick move on my part, but if it hadn’t been so easy to do I might have paused long enough to think “No, that’s fucking stupid.” Making it so easy is just asking for something bad to happen.
Again, I’m sorry I did that, it was over the line. But I’m hoping you’ll believe me when I say I’m seriously trying to give you some good advice on protecting yourself and your loved ones.
But I’m hoping you’ll believe me when I say I’m seriously trying to give you some good advice on protecting yourself and your loved ones.
My reputation is good enough that 90% of your scenarios wouldn’t fly. (don’t take that as a challenge please)
The bomb thing might work.
Fact is - yours is the first vindictive act I’ve received. Believe it or not I don’t belong to any other forums - outside of professional ones where everybody knows everybody already.
Like I said before - I come to this one ‘cause it’s fairly intelligent and I have fun. I never ran across anyone here who I thought I needed to be afraid of - and now I’ve got your number on my caller ID.
Next time I’m in your neck of the woods I’d be happy to take you out for some tex mex.
(don’t take that as a challenge please)
Suddenly I’m reminded of why I hate to apologize. ;p
My reputation is good enough that 90% of your scenarios wouldn’t fly. (don’t take that as a challenge please)
Jesus Salinger, in the school setting your reputation doesn’t mean anything. You should know any accusation of any kind, including anonymous tips, means you MUST be investigated and that you will not be in contact with students until that investigation is over. Now for some this might be nice little paid vacation, but I gather that you care about your students and wouldn’t want to hand over your room to a sub for an indeterminate amount of time.
Regarding Obama’s letter I had one thought about this line:
I watched as my ailing mother struggled with stacks of insurance forms in the last moments of her life.
Why the fuck didn’t our Harvard trained lawyer and his hospital administrator wife help his mom with the fucking forms? Do them all for her? Hire someone?
He really is a selfish self absorbed little bastard isn’t he. For me, the worst part of the campaign about Obama was the revelation about his brother in Africa. His own fucking brother living on a few dollar a month. And rich Obama didn’t help him out? What a prick.
wouldn’t want to hand over your room to a sub for an indeterminate amount of time.
I’m a consultant ed - I never work alone in a room without the class teacher present. Most of my work is demonstration lessons and PD.
And as I’m sure you know as such - I have an FBI background check at least every six months - sometimes more depending on the regulations of the state I am working in.
WOW Rann, what a way to be a fucking ass.
With that said it quite a man to fess up and apologize like that.
Why the fuck didn’t our Harvard trained lawyer and his hospital administrator wife help his mom with the fucking forms? Do them all for her? Hire someone?
I had to look thsi up, it appears his mom died in 95, right when he was a rising star in Chicago.
Youd think he would have got her some help don’t ya?
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Damn, man, I wouldn’t go that far. It’s shameless what he’s doing, yes. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and I don’t think that it’s appropriate for you to do that.