I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. - Thomas Jefferson

Friday, August 31, 2007

The cocksucker plans on discussing his future cocksucking sometime in the future.

Idaho Sen. Larry Craig will announce his career plans Saturday after widespread calls from fellow Republicans to resign over a men’s room sex sting, his spokesman said Friday.

Seriously, what kind of a total fucking douchebag makes an announcement that he’s going to make an announcement some time in the future?

Warner is retiring.

Sen. John Warner, R-Virginia, said Friday he won’t run for re-election.

“I say that my work and service to Virginia as a senator will conclude upon the 6th of January, 2009, when I finish ... my career of a then 30 years in the United States Senate,” said Warner, 80.

[…]

Warner served in the Navy during World War II, enlisting at the age of 17, according to his Web site. He also was in the Korean War as a U.S. Marine. He worked in the Department of the Navy for five years during the Vietnam War and was secretary of the Navy from 1972 to 1974.

Warner was first elected to the Senate in 1978 and has been re-elected four times. In addition to the Armed Services Committee, he is on the Intelligence Committee, the Committee on the Environment and Public Works, and the Committee on Homeland Security and Government Affairs.

Last week, Warner called on President Bush to start the process of bringing U.S. troops home from Iraq in September.

Bob Dylan once said, “You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind’s blowing.” Warner’s been around long enough to see which way the wind is blowing.  The GOP is about to get trounced in 2008, and he’d rather go out on top than be thrown out on his ass with the rest of the corrupt shitbags in his party.

If you want to see true delusional behavior, you can’t beat this.

Sen. James M. Inhofe says terrorists’ attempt to shoot down the C-130 military transport plane carrying him and other lawmakers in Iraq demonstrated the progress of the U.S. military campaign.

“Al Qaeda’s unsuccessful attempt to shoot down this C-130 aircraft was a futile effort to influence its losing fight in Iraq, and served to underscore the reality that terrorism is still a threat and that there is still work to be done,” the Oklahoma Republican said. “The crew’s impeccable training and flawless performance ensured the safety of the aircraft and all personnel on board.”

Mr. Inhofe was aboard the aircraft with Republican Sens. Richard C. Shelby of Alabama and Mel Martinez of Florida and Rep. Robert E. “Bud” Cramer, Alabama Democrat, departing Baghdad en route to Amman, Jordan when they came under fire.

The crew of the aircraft dispensed flares to defeat any potential heat-seeking missile threat and no one was harmed, Mr. Inhofe said.

A few points, if I may.  First, almost five years later, and terrorist elements are still trying to shoot down military aircraft.  This is progress?  To me it’s a clear indication of what a total failure this operation has been.  It’s like when Condi went over there a few months back, and there were press photos of her at the bottom of the ramp of her plane wearing a bullet proof vest.  I was like, you mean to tell me the country is so unsafe that they can’t even secure the airport?

Secondly, this is a plane specially designed to thwart attempts to shoot it down.  It shoots flares.  It does rapid take-offs and landings.  (Have you ever seen Air Force One take off?  It damn near goes vertical as soon as it leaves the ground.) Planes going in and out of hostile zones will do a spiral landing, where they will fly over the airport, then go down in a corkscrew pattern and land.  It makes it extremely difficult to shoot down the plane.

So, the fact that some terrorists attempted and failed to shoot down a military aircraft specifically designed not to be shot down, piloted by a crew who have undergone extensive training on how not to get shot down, is a sign of progress.  I’d hate so see what he thinks is a sign of failure.  When a civilian airliner can land there Inhofe can come talk to me about progress.

There’ll be no Snow in Washington this Christmas.

Tony Snow, the highly visible White House press secretary, will leave his job on Sept. 14 and be replaced by his deputy, Dana Perino, an administration official said Friday.

President Bush was to announce the changes during an appearance in the White House briefing room.

Snow, ailing with cancer, had said recently he would leave before the end of Bush’s presidency because he needs to make more money.

Oh, all he has to do is write a book.  He’ll get a nice advance, and his money problems will be solved.  Not to mention that he’ll have a continual career as a professional pundit, talking head, and Bush defender. 

It’s a bad time to be a cocksucker in the GOP.

The Republican National Committee has warned Sen. Larry Craig privately that if he does not resign, the party will not provide him financial support in the upcoming election and it will recruit a Republican opponent to run against him.

This is the hardest stance taken so far in the push for the Idaho senator to step down since it was first reported this week that he entered a guilty plea in connection to lewd conduct allegations.

Well, look at it this way.  Once he’s a private citizen he can have all the balls to the chin that he can stand.  (Or kneel.)

Writing in my local bird cage liner, Nick Gillespie wonders if the cocksucker toilet incident will mark a turning point for the GOP.

[T]he Craig scandal also provides the Republican Party, battered into minority status in Congress after years of domestic and foreign overreach, a golden opportunity to recover its attractive minimal-government heritage, at least when it comes to using the state to police sexual behavior among consenting adults.

At least since the opening of the impeachment trial of President Clinton in 1998, when House Speaker-designate Bob Livingston (R-La.) announced his resignation after his extramarital affairs were made public, the GOP has shot itself in the foot repeatedly in the regulation of sexual activity. Certainly last year’s exposure of Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.), who bombarded teenage male congressional pages with racy instant messages even as he authored legislation aimed at online predators, played a key factor in the party of Lincoln’s massive loss in the midterm elections. While it remains to be seen if Craig’s scandal, or the recent revelation that the name of Sen. David Vitter (R-La.) appeared on a Washington escort service’s client list, will have any electoral fallout in 2008, the time is ripe for the GOP to reclaim the heritage of “Mr. Conservative,” the late Sen. Barry Goldwater (R-Ariz.).

Goldwater, who inspired Ronald Reagan and helped lay the groundwork for the rise of the Republicans to majority status in the late 20th century, preached a small-government gospel that was appealing and logically consistent. To Goldwater, the state was inefficient at best and predicated on violence and coercion at worst. As much as possible, he argued, individuals should be left alone to pursue their happiness as they saw fit, whether in the workplace or the home. A longtime proponent of reproductive rights, Goldwater was an outspoken defender of gays and lesbians, noting during the original gays-in-the-military debates of the early 1990s that “you don’t have to be straight” to serve, “you just have to shoot straight.”

Someone who claims to be for “limited government” should actually be for limited government in every way possible.  You cannot have a state limited in economic matters but authoritarian in social matters.  Capitalism and freedom go togethether.  (Didn’t someone write as book with that title?) Governments should stay out of your wallet AND out of your personal life.

Anyone remember Zombie Reagan?  This year, I’m voting Zombie Goldwater.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

This morning in this post I discussed Bush’s honesty and trustworthiness.

So here’s the problem.  When Bush came to us and said Iraq was a threat we supported him and we invaded.  They subsequently didn’t find any WMD whatsoever, a few old shell casings with mustard gas notwithstanding.  Bush has been pretty much wrong about every single thing he’s ever said about Iraq.  Now comes Iran.  Now the same president is waving his arms, pointing at Iran and saying “Lookee here!”

Would you keep going to a doctor who consistently diagnosed your illnesses incorrectly?  No?  Well, when dealing with a president with an abominable track record on Iraq, who is known to selectively pick and choose what information he releases, who has a record of lying and dishonesty that would make Bill Clinton faint, you’ll have to excuse me for not throwing my legs over my head and polluting my breeches in celebration that our wonderful leader is telling us about Iran being an imminent threat.

Even this administration’s most strident supporters are forced to admit that this, one of the most secretive administrations in history, has a tendency to twist the truth in their favor.  Then, later in the day, the I blogged on the GAO report story.  In that post’s comments I wrote

Yes, yes, it’s the media conspiracy at wotk!  The GAO wants to see us defeated, so they’re leaking parts of the report.

You know what else got leaked?  The White House memo where they’re already preparing to call the GAO report bullshit.

Wow, you mean the White House leaks things too?  Good sweet merciful fuck, when did this start happening?

Now, those of you who were opposed to me on these issues this morning, take a look at this beautiful compendium of Bush Bullshit and spin from Obsidian Wings.  So in the morning, since January even, the Iraqis were being held to goals which had to be met.  When it turns out that the Iraqis haven’t met the goals, the spin is that the goals were impossible to achieve in the first place.

Spin spin bullshit and spin.  Honestly, you have to have some kind of mental disease to trust anything these people say.

Some speculation in the Guardian on which poor bastard is going to end up knee deep in Gonzo’s shit.

Early speculation on possible replacements has focused on the Homeland Security secretary, Michael Chertoff, a former assistant attorney general and federal judge who has the legal expertise found lacking in Mr Gonzales.

However, Mr Chertoff blotted his copybook - and faced calls for his own resignation - after his department’s slow response to Hurricane Katrina in 2005.

Others mentioned include Theodore Olson, a Washington lawyer and former solicitor general whose wife, Barbara, was killed on the September 11 flight that crashed into the Pentagon and Larry Thompson, the general counsel of PepsiCo and formerly the No 2 at the justice department.

Both men served under the former attorney general John Ashcroft in Mr Bush’s first term.

One of the more intriguing names to have emerged is that of the Democratic senator Joe Lieberman, from Connecticut, who is generally loathed by Democratic activists for vocally supporting Mr Bush on Iraq.

His nomination would be politically mischievous on several counts. Not only would such a move put Democrats in an uncomfortable position should they oppose one of their own for a top administration job, but it would also allow Connecticut’s Republican governor to appoint his replacement, taking away control of the Senate from the Democrats by splitting it down the middle.

Honestly, though, I doubt we’ll see anything this interesting from Bush.  He’s a lame duck, his legacy is assured to be among the worst presidents ever, why not try and do something interesting?

The California Republican Party just called me soliciting funds.  I told them that I’d switched my registration to Libertarian, and they could go piss up a rope.

From the tape of the cocksucker arrest (man, it’s nice to have a legitimate excuse to use the word “cocksucker”—I don’t even have to put “worthless” in front of it!) we find that the cops weren’t too pleased when they found out who he was.

Karsnia said that he had cited several people for similar behavior in the past and that he was disappointed in the senator.

“You are sitting here lying to a police officer,” Karsnia responded. “People vote for you. Unbelievable.”

Shit, we have a president who orders the nation’s top cop, Gonzo, to figure out ways to subvert the Constitution they both swore to defend and protect.  Lying to a cop about cruising for a blow in a toilet?  That ain’t nothing.

You know those Iraqi WMD we couldn’t find?  We were looking in the wrong place.

Workers found vials believed to contain the poison gas phosgene at a U.N. office building in New York Thursday.

U.N. archivists for UNMOVIC, the U.N. chemical weapons agency, unexpectedly turned up samples of material from an Iraqi chemical weapons plant in old files.

The samples were in weapons inspectors’ files dating back to the 1990s, but the substance is not believed to pose any immediate danger, U.N. officials said Thursday.

And where did this shit come from?

The material was taken from al-Muthanna chemical weapons plant north of Baghdad. The samples are sealed and have been there since 1996.

This is why I, and many other people, supported the war in the first place.

There is going to be a major announcement regarding this blog sometime next week.  I don’t know when exactly but stay tuned for details.

Why, with these guys running things, victory is just around the corner.  Again.

The Iraqi government has failed to meet the vast majority of political and military goals laid out by lawmakers to assess President Bush’s Iraq war strategy, congressional auditors have determined.

The Associated Press has learned the Government Accountability Office, or GAO, will report that at least 13 of the 18 benchmarks to measure the surge of U.S. troops to Iraq are unfulfilled ahead of a September 15 deadline. That’s when Bush is to give a detailed accounting of the situation eight months after he announced the policy, according to three officials familiar with the matter.

The officials, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the report has not been made public, also said the administration is preparing a case to play down the findings, arguing that Congress ordered the GAO to use unfair, “all or nothing” standards when compiling the document.

Plus, Bush can always blame this on the weakness of the American people.  Liberalism, not enough grit, all that stuff.  We’re pussies.

An internal White House memorandum, prepared to respond to the GAO findings, says the report will claim the Iraqis have failed on at least 13 benchmarks. It also says the criteria lawmakers set for the report allow no room to report progress, only absolute success or failure.

The memo argues that the GAO will not present a “true picture” of the situation in Iraq because the standards were “designed to lock in failure,” according to portions of the document read to the AP by an official who has seen it.

What an astounding coincidence.  The entire war plan was also “designed to lock in failure.” Or, should I say, the complete, total, and utter lack of any sort of plan what to do once Saddam’s army fell. If you want to see why Iraq is a failure, there’s your answer.  That and, of course, the wussiness and lack of grit of the American people.  It’s that damn librul media, don’t you know.

You know what’s sad?  The fucking Iranians are right about Bush.

Iran on Thursday dismissed US President George W. Bush’s allegations of its interference in Iraq as “undocumented” and a sign of “political despair,” local news agencies reported.

“Bush’s statements lack any new and documented points and are a sign of indecision, lack of wisdom and political despair,” Foreign Minister Manouchehr Mottaki said, quoted by the semi-official Mehr news agency.

Hey, if you like what we’ve done with Iraq then you’ll love Bush’s plans for Iran.

Update: A LOT of people have completely misconstrued the point of this post.  I’m appending the words “about Bush” to the end of the first sentence.  I merely thought that “indecision, lack of wisdom and political despair” was a pretty good description of the situation Bush now finds himself in.

For the record, of course Iran is supplying the insurgency.  One of my main complaints over the past 4 years is that we were doing nothing to secure the borders.  And now, mysteriously, fighters and weapons from Iran are coming into Iraq.  What a conundrum!

So here’s the problem.  When Bush came to us and said Iraq was a threat we supported him and we invaded.  They subsequently didn’t find any WMD whatsoever, a few old shell casings with mustard gas notwithstanding.  Bush has been pretty much wrong about every single thing he’s ever said about Iraq.  Now comes Iran.  Now the same president is waving his arms, pointing at Iran and saying “Lookee here!”

Would you keep going to a doctor who consistently diagnosed your illnesses incorrectly?  No?  Well, when dealing with a president with an abominable track record on Iraq, who is known to selectively pick and choose what information he releases, who has a record of lying and dishonesty that would make Bill Clinton faint, you’ll have to excuse me for not throwing my legs over my head and polluting my breeches in celebration that our wonderful leader is telling us about Iran being an imminent threat.

It probably is.  Too bad there’s nobody in this administration I trust to give an honest evaluation of the situation.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

So I’m sitting here working on the computer, and as usual I have iTunes on shuffle.  The song that just came on was “Balls to the Wall” by Accept, a German heavy metal band from the 1980s.  Check out this album cover.

Now, as hard as this might be to believe today, nobody thought this was gay back then.  Nowadays you take one look at it and you can just imagine the gerbil crawling up his intestine.  But this was your typical metal band, all about pussy and partying, nothing inherently homosexual.

The truly ironic thing, though, is that the guy who popularized the leather and studs look was Rob Halford from Judas Priest, who actually is gay.  (This didn’t become public knowledge until the 90s.) I remember an interview Halford did once where he said that, in the early days of the band, he was frustrated because he had to stay closeted.  One day he was in New York and he walked past a gay leather shop.  He bought a whole bunch of leather stuff and wore it on stage that night.  The crowd went insane for it, and it became the look not only for Priest but for most metal bands as well.  I remember Halford saying something like, “Here’s this stadium full of horny heterosexual teenage boys cheering at the leather and studs, thinking how cool it was, when in reality it was my way of expressing my latent homosexuality in public.”

It’s weird.  As a kid who grew up on metal in the 80s, I can say honestly that we didn’t see anything gay about it.  But, looking back on it now, man, there was a lot of gay shit.  But it wasn’t gay.  In the documentary Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey they devote a whole section to this.  Dee Snider, who made transvestitism an art form, laughs it off and says, yeah, this looks really gay now, but trust me, there was nothing gay about it back then.

I’m not gay.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

Update: GripeBoy, in the comments to this post.

I was dressing like a mod and took a lot of shit for listening to supposed “gay” bands like Tears For Fears and Depeche Mode when in fact, the most homophobic of all my friends were listening to a hard core biker fag.

Now THAT is fucking funny.