There’s an Englishman, an American, and an Australian, who walk up and sit down at a bar and order a pint of VB each.  The bartender delivers their drinks.  Right as he does, wouldn’t you know it, three flies come down and each man gets a fly stuck in the head of his beer.

The Englishman says, “I’m not drinking that,” and pushes it away from him.  The American takes his beer picks the fly out, scoops out the fly area, and begins to drink.  The Aussie reaches down, grabs the fly by the neck, holds him over the glass saying, “Spit it out, you bastard, spit it out!”

How do you get 100 dead babies into the trunk of a car?

Blender.

How do you get them out?

Tostitos.

What do you call a Mexican whore with no legs?

Cunts-way-low

Q:  How do you know that a Mexican fisherman is a queer?

A:  They’re always talking about the Juan that got away.

How can you tell when two gay black men have had sex?

Their hair is now straight.

What do you call a Jew who gives you exact change?

A big spender.

What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black man and an Arab?

Something that declares jihad in two languages when it goes on welfare.

What’s the best way to confuse a half-French, half-Polish man?

Tell him to go to a mirror and surrender.

West Virginia Rebel - 09 September 2006 01:29 AM

What’s the best way to confuse a half-French, half-Polish man?

Tell him to go to a mirror and surrender.

Or How do you confuse a Polack?

Put him in a round room and tell him to go pee in the corner.

How about some marine jokes?

How do you trap a Marine?
Wait til he’s getting drink of water and slamd teh tolit bowl lid down on his head.

How do you knock out a marine?
Throw some sand at a wall and tell him to hit the beach.

Why does the Navy keep Mariens aboard ship?
Becase sheep would be to obvious.

Q: What are the 3 biggest lies?

A: 1. Black is beautiful.
2. The check is in the mail.
3. I won’t cum in your mouth.

Everybody probably heard this one before, it was also done in Boondock Saints.

A nigger, a Mexican, and a cracker find a magic lamp.  They all rub it at the same time, and a genie pops out.

The genie says, “I will grant each one of you 1 wish.”

The nigger says, “I wish for me all my black brothers and sisters to be happy and successful, back in Africa.” The genie goes “POOF!, and the black guy disappears.

The spic says “"I wish for all my Mexican brothers and sisters to be happy and successful, back in Mexico.” The genie goes “POOF!,” and the spic disappears.

The genie turns to the white guy, and asks “Well, what is your wish?” The honky responds, “You mean to tell me all the niggers and spics are out of America?” “Well, yes,” says the genie.

A look of relief crosses the white guy’s face instantly, as he happily replies “Well, I’ll have a Coke, then.”

Q. Why did God create the Yeast infection?

A. So women could know what it’s like to live with an irritating cunt too!

A man comes home from work and finds his wife in their bedroom packing a suitcase. He asks her “where are you going?”

She replies, “Moving to Vegas. I heard I can get $300.00, for what I do with you, there.”

He pulls out a suitcase and starts packing and she asks him “where are you going?”

He replies “ I just gotta see you live on $600.00 a year!”

A guy with two black eyes getting on a plane goes to take his seat and notices that the guy seated next him also has two black eyes. He says “it’s funny how I got these black eyes. I was talk to the well endowed gate agent out there and got a little tongue tied. I told her that I had two pickets to titsburg”.

The other guy says “ same kind of thing happened to me. I was sitting across the table from my wife at breakfast this morning, and what I was trying to say was pass the wheaties sweety, but what came out of my mouth was you’re ruining my life you fucking bitch!”

Q: How do you get a Polish woman pregnant?

A: Jerk off in her shoe and let the flies do the rest.

q: what id the deaf, dumb and blind boy get for christmas?

a: cancer.

q: What do you call three spics pushing a car uphill?

a: Grand Theft Auto