"To what purpose are powers limited, and to what purpose is that limitation committed to writing,
if these limits may, at any time, be passed by those intended to be restrained?"
-- Chief Justice John Marshall, Marbury v. Madison, 1803

Decline of Western Civilization

Sunday, February 08, 2004

The Book of Isaiah says, “And he shall judge among the nations, and shall reprove many peoples; and they shall forge their swords into ploughshares, and their spears into pruning-knives: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.” If the Bible were being written today it would probably refer to “converting their assault weapons into digital music players.”

A BRITISH-based company is selling MP3 players which can be attached to an assault rifle.

The “AK-MP3” player is built into the ammunition clip of a Kalashnikov and can be swapped with the real magazine.

The device is being advertised on the internet by a Buckinghamshire-based company set up by a group of Russian businessmen who sell audio books.

It comes with enough storage space to hold 3000 audio books or 9000 songs.

Former Russian rock star Andrey Koltakov, a partner in the dotcom company offering the AK-MP3 for sale, said: “This is our bit for world peace - hopefully, from now on many militants and terrorists will use their AK-47s to listen to music and audio books.”

The accessory costs $480 or $965 with hundreds of audio books loaded on to it.

Those marketing it say the stainless steel body makes it “uniquely suitable for outdoors”.

The best thing about the free market is that it is self-adjusting.  Good ideas are rewarded, and bad ideas go broke and disappear from the marketplace.  I will leave it to you, gentle reader, to determine which category an assault-rifle clip MP3 player belongs in.

Monday, February 02, 2004

One of my favorite comedians, Bobby Slayton, once had a bit regarding race in films.  “Why is it okay to have a movie called White Men Can’t Jump?  You know what I want to see?  I want to see a movie called Black Men Can’t Shut the Fuck Up in a Movie Theater.” Well, my friends, Bobby was right.

Disturbances broke out over the weekend at at least two Southland theaters where “You Got Served,” the hip-hop dance competition movie, was being screened, authorities said.

Redondo Beach police used bean-bag guns and Tazers to quell a disturbance at the South Bay Galleria before midnight Saturday when a brawl broke out among moviegoers leaving the theater, said Redondo police Sgt. John Wisser.

Four young men—16, 17, 18, and 20—fought while a crowd of up to 600 people was dispersing, Wisser said.

Police fired a bean-bag gun at one suspect and used a Tazer gun on another, Wisser said, adding that all four were arrested.

Like they couldn’t have seen this one coming.  I remember when I was in the Navy going up to Los Angeles one weekend to visit this girl I had met in Tijuana.  She took me out around the city, and I wanted to go and see a movie at the Chinese Theater.  The film that was on that day?  New Jack City. So, as you can imagine, we walked into a theater full of LA gangstaz, all flashing gang signs at each other.  We were the only white folks in the whole place.  Needless to say we sat in the back corner so we could run out in case any of the fine young men in the audience whipped out their MAC-10s and started shooting at each other.

In one of America’s more asinine traditions, the caged rodent saw his shadow, meaning six more weeks of winter.

In one of America’s more asinine traditions, the caged rodent saw his shadow, meaning six more weeks of winter.

In one of America’s more asinine traditions, the caged rodent saw his shadow, meaning six more weeks of winter.

Thursday, January 29, 2004

They’re for socialism, hate Americans, and love animals.  They’re the Swedes!

Animal sex is not illegal in Sweden, and every year between 200 and 300 pets are injured because of sexual assaults.

The estimate was presented by Svenska Veterinärforbundet, the Swedish veterinary organization, and it is now trying to make the authorities and the public more aware of animals’ suffering. The organization claim the problem has increased during the last couple of years, even if most people are unaware of it.

“We have seen an increase since 1999 when child pornography became illegal,” said Johan Beck-Friis. “It appears, in other words, as there are some people who have replaced children with animals. In both circumstances, it is sex with defenceless individuals.”

The injuries inflicted on animals after sexual assaults are of the same character of those children get. Beck-Friis said that the most common injuries are wounds on the sex organs and blisters.

The fact that animal sex is becoming an increasing problem can be indicated by the mere fact that there is an increasing selection of animal porn at video rentals and there an increasingly number of websites with animal pornography is surfacing.

No one knows for sure how many animals that are abused, but a British study from 2001 indicates that every 20th dog or cat that receives treatment at veterinaries, the injuries are not a result of a direct accident, but the animal has been inflicted the injury as a result of a sexual assault.

Swedish anti-war activist Dag Olaffson was overheard remarking, “Americans are brutal fascist regime.  They kill all brown people for the oil!  Bush is Hitler!  Now, I’m going home to have sex with my cat.”

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

It’s Pope John Paul II: Electric Boogaloo.

In an unusual spectacle at the Vatican, Pope John Paul II presided over a performance of break-dancers who leaped, flipped and spun their bodies to beats from a tinny boom box.

The 83-year-old pontiff seemed to approve, waving his hand after each dancer completed a move, then applauding for the entire group. He watched the performance from a raised throne.

“For this creative hard work I bless you from my heart,” he said.

During Sunday’s show, one dancer—part of a Polish group that helps poor and marginalized youths—planted his head on the inlaid marble floor of the Vatican hall and spun to loud applause from his group and from Vatican officials.

Another performer flung his body around in a series of spins and handstands.

“Artistic talent is a gift from God and whoever discovers it in himself has a certain obligation: to know that he cannot waste this talent, but must develop it,” John Paul said.

Seriously, can you imagine how totally uninterested the poor pope must have been in watching this crap?  And it just goes to show how behind the times Eastern Europe is.  Breakdancing is so 1983.

If you’ve ever wondered why the Japanese are kicking our asses, it’s because their kids study math and physics and science, and our kids study the lies of Michael Moore.

Monday, January 26, 2004

The anti-gay marriage folks are going to have a field day with this.

Cousin marriage, or consanguineous marriage, is commonplace throughout history and around the world - except in the United States. Here, many states ban the unions based on the long-held notion that cousin marriages are “inbreeding” that produces defective offspring.

Those laws are based on outmoded social stigmas and incorrect scientific studies, genetics experts say. Cousin couples are speaking out increasingly for their right to marry.

Many of the myths date to one particularly erroneous study issued in 1858, said Martin Ottenheimer, author of “Forbidden Relatives: The American Myth of Cousin Marriage.” That study, in the Transactions of the American Medical Association journal, concluded that first cousins were too closely related to reproduce safely.

“The research upon which it was based was very, very, very poor. Absolutely wrong,” said Ottenheimer, an anthropology professor at Kansas State University in Manhattan.

I always thought that cousins marrying explained Southern Democrats.  At any rate, it wil be interesting to see the commentary from Stanley Kurtz and Andrew Sullivan.  Food for thought: If the objection to cousins marrying is because they might procreate, and the science declares that they are safe to reproduce children, should a brother and sister be permitted to marry if they are sterilized?

Update: It’s a big news day for sicko marriages.

A member of Utah’s polygamous Kingston clan was sentenced Monday to a year in prison for taking a 15-year-old cousin—who was also his aunt—as his wife.

Jeremy Ortell Kingston pleaded guilty to incest in an arrangement with prosecutors. The felony charge will be reduced to a misdemeanor if Kingston successfully completes three years’ probation.

Kingston was 24 when he took LuAnn Kingston as his fourth wife in 1995. Family members say he has at least 17 children.

At a hearing in October, Kingston told the judge: “I had a relationship, a sexual relationship, with LuAnn for about four years. That relationship ended about four years ago.”

After Monday’s sentencing, Luann Kingston told reporters: “I was glad that they saw through all of his save-face comments.”

How do you circumcize a redneck?  Kick his sister in the mouth.  Yeehaw!

Thursday, January 22, 2004

Seriously, folks, is this the dumbest girl in the world or what?

A British student apologised yesterday for joking that she was taking three bombs on board a flight in the United States.

Speaking after she was released on bail from a Miami jail, Samantha Marson, 21, said she “wasn’t thinking” when she made the comments. ...

Ms Marson, who was arrested before boarding a London-bound British Airways flight at Miami airport on Saturday, said the claims were a “mistake” and warned other people not to make jokes. ...

Police said she told a member of the airport security staff during a baggage check: “Hey be careful, I have three bombs in here.” Asked to repeat herself, she allegedly made the same statement two more times.

Ms Marson was arrested for making the false bomb report and taken to Miami-Dade County Jail, where she spent four nights.

What kind of a retard do you have to be to even contemplate making a joke like that post-9/11? 

Monday, January 19, 2004

This surely has to be one of the signs of the apocalypse.  I mean, how much farther can western civilization fall?  Jesus H. Christ, people are fucked up today.  If you would actually contemplate doing this to yourself, please, I implore you… kill yourself.

Finally, a killer who gets a little sampling of what a crime victim goes through.

A murderer whose claims of mental retardation were rejected by the courts was executed Wednesday after struggling with guards and pleading for his life until the last moment.

Lewis Williams, 45, was put to death by injection for fatally shooting a 76-year-old woman during a robbery at her Cleveland home in 1983.

Four guards were needed to lift the 117-pound Williams from his knees and pry his hand off the edge of a table before carrying him into the death chamber. As he was strapped to the execution table he cried, “I’m not guilty. God, help me.”

At least nine guards restrained him as they prepared his arms and inserted needles. One guard standing at his head alternately restrained him and patted his right shoulder to comfort him.

Williams repeatedly shook his head and tried to lift himself off the preparation bed. He yelled several times, then rested his head and spoke, appearing to whisper or chant quietly.

Williams kept pleading even as the warden pulled the microphone away after his final official statement: “God, please help me. God, please hear my cry.” He was pronounced dead at 10:15 a.m.

I wonder if he felt a fraction of the terror his 76-year-old victim did when broke into her home and shot her.  More death row inmates should go out like this.

Thursday, January 15, 2004

Scary news from the world of drug use.

People who take the recreational drug ecstasy risk impairing their memory, according to an international study which surveyed users in places including the UK, other European countries, the USA and Australia.

The study, which also surveyed non-drug users, found that those who regularly took ecstasy suffered from mainly long-term memory difficulties, and that they were 23 per cent more likely to report problems with remembering things than non-users.

I had a great point to make here, but I don’t remember what it was.  (See here for more.)

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

This statistic is simply mindblowing.

Sales of mobile phone ring tones, those tinny song recordings programmed into millions of cell phones around the world, jumped 40 percent in the past year to $3.5 billion, according to a study released Tuesday.

The worldwide sale of ring tones, which started as a marketing gimmick for music labels and mobile phone companies, is roughly equivalent to 10 percent of the $32.2 billion global music market.

$3.5 billion on ringtones?  Ringtones?

Friday, January 09, 2004

Oh yeah, this is exactly what we need teenagers watching, because God knows they’re not subject to enough sexual imagery as it is.

Universal Music Group, the top dog in record labels, is attempting to launch an uncensored, 24-hour music television channel.

The proposed name for the channel “1 AM” pays homage to the first amendment. The new channel is being financed by Eminem’s Shady Records, porno company Vivid Entertainment Group and the Endeavor Talent Agency.

The formal business structure of the venture is still in the works, but sources state that Universal and Vivid would retain a 45% stake, while Eminem’s Shady Records and Endeavor would hold 5% each. Head of Interscope, Jimmy Iovine, will also have a major role in launching the network.

The channel’s proposed content would include uncut videos, live concerts and complete song lyrics.

It’s 1AM… do you know where your children are?  Seriously, is there anyone out there right now who thinks that contemporary music isn’t slutty enough already?  I can see the discussions going on at the station’s headquarters.

“Well, we like the sexual energy that Christina Aguilera displays in her videos, but we think that teenagers would really like to see her snatch.”

“Good news, everyone!  Mountain Dew has expressed interest in sponsoring Celebrity Bukkake.”

Look, I’m not a prude by any means, and I have nothing against porno—I am a single guy, after all—but doesn’t this seem totally unnecessary?  A porno company is getting into the business of marketing music to kids?

Ugh.  And the decline of western civilization charges forward.

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

"You’ve just won a fortune, and your life is changed forever!  What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to jail!”

The winner of the largest single lottery jackpot in U.S. history has been accused of threatening to kill the manager of a bar.

Andrew “Jack” Whittaker, who won the $314.9 million Powerball jackpot on Christmas 2002, was arraigned Tuesday on charges of threatening Todd Parsons, the manager of Billy Sundays Bar and Grill in St. Albans.

Whittaker, who reportedly was banned from the bar, is accused of trying to hit Parsons and threatening “to have the victim and his family killed,” according to police reports.

I can think of a lot of things I’d do if I won that much money, and threatening to hire a hitman to kill some white trash bartender isn’t one of them.

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

During Steve Jobs’ keynote address today he mentioned that the top downloader from the iTunes Music Store has spent—are you sitting down?—over $29,000 since the store opened.

You know, I could think of a lot better thing to spend $30 grand on.  Like a car.