Category: Fun and Humor

The Clinton Quiz

For some reason, this morning’s hoo-hah over Gary Johnson reminded me of a Polish joke from the Cold War. I will adopt it to the present circumstance:

Hillary Clinton is on a game show where you have to answer four questions to win a cash prize. She sits down with the host.

Host: So, Mrs. Clinton, are you ready for you first question?

Clinton: I’ve been ready since 1991, when I …

Host: OK, so … for your first question … what is Iraq?

Clinton: Iraq is a country that I voted to invade in 2003.

Host: That is correct! Now, for your second question … what is Libya?

Clinton: Libya is a country I decided to bomb in 2011.

Host: That is correct! Now, for your third question … what is Syria?

Clinton: Syria is a country I supported bombing in 2014.

Host: That is correct! Now, for your last question … and all the money … what is Aleppo?

Clinton squirms for a while, fiddles with her blackberry, stares off into space, bites her lip. She concentrates very hard. Finally, she clears her throat.

Clinton: Well, I’m not completely sure, but I’ll take a shot at it.


Teacher tries to get students to feel math, and gets in trouble

Say what you want, but I have constantly had arguments with morons, practically always leftists twits, about why the educational establishment has had to dumb down and politicize education – meaning turning everything that now passes for teaching into a pro-marxism lesson – because according to them, kids today have trouble associating what little they still teach them with their life experiences, and thus cant relate. Queue a teacher that decided to make it real. From the article:

This teacher gets a D- in racial sensitivity and an F in common sense.

A teacher at an Alabama middle school has been placed on administrative leave after it was discovered she distributed a questionable math quiz last Friday to her students that referenced gang-related activities like drive-by shootings, cocaine and prostitution.

According to parents of kids at Cranford Burns Middle School in Mobile, the students were shocked after reading questions like these:

“Tyrone knocked up 4 girls in the gang. There are 20 girls in his gang. What is the exact percentage of girls Tyrone knocked up?”

“Pedro got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 of his hit money per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?”

Dwayne pimps 3 ho’s. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Dwayne’s $800 per day crack habit?

Parent Erica Hall told NBC affiliate WPMI that she was outraged to find out that longtime Language Arts teacher JoAnne Bolser would hand such inappropriate content out to her son’s eighth grade class.

Say what you want, but I bet if these morons want to keep using the argument that education problems should reflect real life problems, then this teacher was doing them a favor. About the only question I found problematic was the one about Dwayne, and that is because it doesn’t factor in the cost of the ho’s crack habit Dwayne as a good pimp is sure to pay for. Know what I am saying?

It’s cool this shit comes out of Hollywood I guess, but when we do it in school, on advice from people that tell us we should be doing this sort of thing since real life examples help kids learn better, we get drama. And why was there no questions about busting caps in someone’s ass in that test, huh?


That ain’t mayo, baby!

Talk about getting more than you paid for:

MAY 3–A woman last week contacted Florida cops to report that she believed a pair of chicken sandwiches purchased at KFC “contained semen,” according to a police report.

The unidentified customer went to the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office and told officials there that she bought the sandwiches from a Bradenton restaurant.

This reminds me of the girl in my junior year biology class that asked the teacher if cum had a high concentration of sugar (fructose) why it tasted salty, then realized she had just admitted to being a fun date. That or maybe this chick was just looking for a pay day.

I never worked in fast food, although I did a brief stint in a restaurant my parents owned, but I have plenty of friends that have told me stories that make it very clear that you avoid this stuff unless you can watch them make it. Sully was not available for comment…

Reality always bites…

Back in the day the collectivist cheerleaders told us this to sell their garbage. Reality is things like this, and then things like this.

Collectivist, SJW type revolutions are sold as trying to make it better for the masses, but the truth is that it is about replacing the people in charge with new ones whom practically always take abuse and misery of the masses to new levels. I hope Venezuelans know how to make pruno, cause life is about to get even worse for the masses without that Polar crap swill.

Collectivism is evil, but I am sure this is somehow Boosh’s fault…

Blast from the Future

Dateline 2048 AD, from the Associated Press-Fox news Hive Mind

With the 2048 Presidential election due to happen tomorrow, candidates have already announced their campaigns for the 2052 Presidential race (as well as a few for the 2056 race). One candidate that is particularly drawing attention is familiar face — Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Clinton, having lost her 2008 Presidential bid to Barack Obama, her 2012 bid to Bernie Sanders, her 2020 bid to Nikki Haley, her 2028 bid to Ivanka Trump, her 2036 bid to Bristol Palin and her 2044 bid to a cloned Ronald Reagan, has vowed that this time she will at long last become President.

Clinton was woken from cryogenic sleep shortly before her first campaign appearance and appeared a bit confused, saying that she was looking forward to being America’s “first woman President”. When it was pointed out that she would actually be the third, her campaign advisors said that the quote was taken out of context by cyborgs of the Republican-Libertarian-Texas Alliance.

Clinton has promised free college to all Americans (although college, as such, was abolished in 2045 after direct brain uploads made it obsolete). She has also promised to complete the work of Obamacare, which may prove difficult given that the entire insurance market imploded in 2020 and was replaced with the barter system.

Clinton is expected to face some controversy over her past experience. Her tenure as Secretary of State under Obama saw the rise of ISIS while her tenure as Secretary of Defense under Sanders saw ISIS turn the entirety of Iraq and Syria into a Jihadist Theme Park, featuring stoning of adulteresses and beheadings of infidels. Her brief stint as Secretary of Treasury was marred by controversy over putting her own face on the $20 bill.

Still, her motto of, “She’s rested, she’s ready, she’s thawed out, she only has three bionic limbs and really anyone who would have surrendered to those aliens” is expected to resonate with the seven people who still vote instead of spending their entire lives in the virtual pornography chambers the Sanders administration distributed in 2019.

“Enough already,” she told the virtual hologram of George Stephanopoulos. “I’m going to President this time. I don’t care if I did finish second in Iowa to a species of intelligent moss. It’s my turn.


They know just how to hurt us;

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Per established precedent they have demanded we release 5 prominent Muslims. I say we give them Obama, Kerry, Ellison, Andre Carson, and throw in Lois Lerner (the way she lies she can convince them of anything).

As if ISIS wasn’t on the “naughty” list already.

Turkeys and Drumsticks 2015

For eight years running, I have taken advantage of the Thanksgiving Holiday to give out my awards for Turkey of the Year and Golden Drumsticks. The latter are for those who exemplify the best traits in our public sphere. The former are for those who exemplify silliness and stupidity. I rarely give them out to someone who is evil; they are reserved for those who regularly make me shake my head and wonder what they’re thinking. It’s a sort of “thank you” for making blogging easier.

We’ll start with the Turkeys of the Year. For reference, the past winners are:

2007: Alberto Gonzalez, Nancy Pelosi, Hugo Chavez

2008: Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin’s critics, Hillary Clinton, Congress, Joe Biden

2009: Mike Steele, Glen Beck, the State Department, Sarah Palin, Andrew Sullivan.

2010: Janet Napolitano and TSA, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, MSNBC, Lower Merion Schools, California Voters.

2011: Nancy Pelosi, Republican Presidential Field, Occupy Wall Street, Anthony Weiner, the Eurozone.

2012: The Culture Warriors, Unions, The Poll Unskewers, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, MSNBC

2013:, the Platinum Coin, the Shutdown Caucus, the National Park Service, Fiscal Cliff Panic Mongers.

2014: Jonathan Gruber, Lamenting Democrats, Barack Obama, Jim Ardis, Paul Krugman

For This Year:

The Presidential Field: Here are your candidates for 2016:

On the Democratic side, a 68-year old political insider with a 30-year track record of deception, vindictiveness and blame evasion, running on her record of having unleashed chaos in Iraq, Syria and Libya. Then there’s the 74-year-old socialist, rejected because his views on gun control are insufficiently pure. Then there’s the “young” guy running on his horrible track record as mayor of a failed city and governor of a failed state. And, because things weren’t surreal enough, there was the former senator who looked like he’d gotten baked on his yacht and accidentally wandered into a Presidential debate.

On the Republican side, you have the reality TV show star with narcissistic personality disorder who has an iffy relationship with the truth and seems determined to insult every demographic he can. You have the brilliant brain surgeon who is clueless on policy and has crackpot ideas about history. You have the asshole Texas senator. You have the President of a nearly collapsed company running on her record as a businesswoman. You have the worst Bush yet, somehow managing to piss away the complete support of the establishment. And then you have a bunch of little guys vying to get 3% support so they can stay in the big debate.

Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Coolidge, Reagan, Bush I … and one of these guys. Ay, caramba.

So far, the only ones who impressed me are Webb and Rubio (see below). One is out and the other is still in fourth place.

College Students: Have you guys seen Life of Brian? In that movie, the anti-Roman guerrillas spend way more time fighting each other than fighting the Romans. This was modeled on 1970’s left-wing radical who hated the government but hated each other more for “splitting” the movement and being insufficiently ideologically pure. This process is happening with political correctness as they slowly turn on each other.

Think of what we’ve been seeing. Who are college students forcing out of positions of power? Who are they screaming at in public squares? Who are they banning from bringing cameras into their “safe spaces”? This ire is directed against people who agree with them on 95% of the issues. Occasionally, there are real issues. But all too much of the anger is because lectures on European history are too European, because there aren’t enough tenured professors of women’s studies, because someone suggested, maybe, that it wasn’t the university’s job to tell grown men and women what Halloween costumes to wear.

Previous generations of college students protested against wars, against vicious racism and against in loco parentis. This generation is protesting against offenses so trivial they are literally called “microgggressions”.

The Election Media: It’s a little under a year until the election and I’m already exhausted. They’ve pronounced Trump dead at least eight times. They’re bending over backward to not criticize Clinton. And they’re doing nothing to illuminate the issues with their focus on the horse race.

Rolling Stone: Last year, they published a horrifying tale of a campus rape that turned out to be a fiction. The blame laid squarely on them. They didn’t bother to call the fraternity in question. They didn’t bother to talk to the supposed victim’s friends. They didn’t bother to read the rather famous (in Charlottesville) book about a rape that the victim took her story from. That’s horrible. What moves them into mockery land is their refusal to take responsibility. No one was fired. They blamed it on the victim for being a good liar. And now they’re being sued for millions.

(And it would seem the lesson has not been learned. The Hunting Ground, a new and much-praised, documentary about campus rape, has an equally problematic relationship with the truth.)

Barack Obama: He pronounced ISIS contained days before they attacked Paris. His Obamacare is seeing double-digit rate increases and companies leaving because they’re hemorrhaging money. His Iran deal is … dubious. The Democratic nominees are trying to pretend that Republicans have secretly been President for the last eight years. His attempts to gin up support for Syrian refugees infuriated half the country.

Maybe he needs to appear between two ferns again.

Dishonorable Mention: Kim Davis, Jeremy Corbyn, Vox, Everytown USA, Stephanie Rawlings-Blake, Vox, Bill deBlasio, the NFL, the anti-vaxxers, Sepp Blatter, Greece, Volkswagen, Putin.

Now the Golden Drumsticks, awarded to those who best exemplified what is right with the world. Here are the past awards, the first round from West Virginia Rebel.

2007: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ron Paul, Barack Obama, David Petraeus, Juan Carlos, Burma’s monks

2008: US Military, Jeff Flake, Ron Paul, Republican Governors, Barack Obama

2009: The American Fighting Man, Kimberly Munley and Mark Todd, George W. Bush

2010: The Tea Party, Chris Christie, Alan Simpson and Erskine Bowles, the Next Wave of Republicans, David Cameron and Nick Clegg, The American Soldiers

2011: Seal Team Six, Mark Kelly, The Arab Spring, the Technicians at Fukushima

2012: Down Ballots, The Sandy Responders, Glen Doherty and Tyrone Woods, Mathew Inman

2013: Francis I, Edward Snowden, Rand Paul, The American Military, The Institute for Justice

2014: Ebola Responders, Francis I, Rand Paul, David Brat, The Supreme Court

For 2015:

New Horizons and Dawn: It was another banner year for science, headlined by New Horizons stunning visit to Pluto and Dawn‘s visit to Ceres. The Philae lander also revived and began providing more data from a sublimating comet. In other science news, rubella has been rendered extinct in North America and polio is on the run.

Spencer Stone, Alek Skarlatos, Anthony Sadler: These are the three men who stopped a would-be terrorist on a French train. Stone came home … where he got stabbed protecting a friend. As Charles Cooke said, we’re a few news cycles away from finding out this guy is Batman.

Amnesty International: In the face of withering criticism and a rising intense moral panic about sex trafficking, they did the right thing: called for the complete decriminalization of sex work for both providers and clients.

Video and Body Cameras: There are legitimate civil liberties concerns when it comes to cops always carrying cameras on them, especially with our culture’s tendency to exploit and shame people doing things on tape. But they are making a huge difference. They not only show when cops do bad things (such as recent horrific shootings in Chicago and Marksville), they exonerate cops who’ve been falsely accused of brutality or sexual harassment. For cities that have implemented them, complaints about police brutality and abuse are way down, both because cops are acting better and because people find it harder to make false claims. There are still issue to work out about when and how footage becomes public. But I think this is a big help on the way to criminal justice reform.

The Non-Crazy Presidential Candidates: Marco Rubio may not get the nomination and Rand Paul definitely won’t. But they’ve injected some much-needed sanity and real debate into the Republican primary. Jim Webb gets a shout-out here too for trying (and failing) to find a moderate stream of Democrat.

Honorable Mention: USA women’s soccer team, the American military, France, Francis I.

Put your nominees in the comments. And have a great Thanksgiving.

No Laughing Matter

A constant truism exhibited over the years by the left is their inability or unwillingness to deal with criticism. Probably from lack of practice, but when your megaphone, the bought and paid for MSM, suddenly forgets their lines and challenges previously held protocols for decorum, the flummoxed are at a loss, not knowing whether to scratch their watch or wind their ass. Ditto with that ever elusive concept known as free speech. “Free” seems to be a conditional term, like free for me but not for thee,”We will stand up and protect your right to express yourself, as long as we agree with that expression”. From calls to fire Rush to Obama’s war with Foxnews, the thin skinned absolutely refuse to tolerate that with they deem intolerant. Enter Miss Pantsuit;

In what appears to be a first for a serious presidential contender, Hillary Clinton’s campaign is going after five comedians who made fun of the former Secretary of State in standup skits at a popular Hollywood comedy club.

A video of the short performance, which is less than three minutes, is posted on the website of the renowned club, Laugh Factory, and the Clinton campaign has tried to censor it. Besides demanding that the video be taken down, the Clinton campaign has demanded the personal contact information of the performers that appear in the recording. This is no laughing matter for club owner Jamie Masada, a comedy guru who opened Laugh Factory more than three decades ago and has been instrumental in launching the careers of many famous comics. “They threatened me,” Masada told Judicial Watch. “I have received complains before but never a call like this, threatening to put me out of business if I don’t cut the video.”

No one should dismiss the reach and power of the Clintons (Vince Foster) or poo poo this guy’s concerns about his own personal safety.

We have seen Obama’s short fuse when it comes to the press not towing the party line. When Hollywood wanders off the reservation, even minutely, it can throw them for a loop. The left gets special reverence right up there with Muslims. Rip a Christian or a Jew, they can handle it, no worries on your end, but say something unflattering about a Muslim and those damn blasphemy laws kick in, and you better go into witness protection.

Talk Like a Pundit!

Because we need some comic relief, here’s PJ with a guide to Punditspeak, translating terms you’ll hear in the punditsphere into English. Viz:

highly placed source—anyone dumb enough to answer my emails or phone calls.

highly placed source speaking on condition of anonymity because—because they’re dumb but not suicidal.

on background—the highly placed source is pulling this out of his ass.

on deep background—the highly placed source is pulling this out of somebody else’s ass.

studies show—I’m pulling this out of my own ass.

The whole thing is pretty funny.