Category: Fun and Humor

Chupacabra attacks!

I knew it!

We’ve heard the “exhaustion” excuse from stars who miss events.

But “attacked” by a “chupacabra”?

You have to hand it to Johnny Depp for that one.

That’s what he said was his reason for missing a news conference for his new movie, Mortdecai, in Tokyo on Tuesday.

Next time one of the women I am dating gives me grief I am using this excuse as well! Then again, Depp might be refering to the democrats and their fiscal policies. They are vampires after all.

Diplomacy in the age of Obama

When a friend sent me this link and I read the article, I thought I was looking at an Onion piece of humor. From the WaPo link:

Secretary of State John Kerry is in Paris after the White House apologized for not sending a high-ranking official to a massive unity rally after the terrorist attacks there.

And he brought a friend by the name of James Taylor.

And James Taylor sang “You got a friend” to the Cheese-eating-surrender-monkeys.

I guess it could have been worse: they could have sent Kerry to France with an iPod full of Obama speeches.

Calling the shit coming out of this WH amateur hour is an insult to amateurs. Remember these fuckwads telling us how bad Boosh was at foreign policy? Yeah, well, they make the stupid shit Boosh did look like pure genius these days.

You can’t make this level of stupid up. You just can’t. For those that have still not wizened up, Obama’s fundamentally changed America is basically a fucking shithole run by incompetent and stupid fucks that rob the productive blind.

Maybe they should send Dolly Parton to Moscow to sing for Putin or something. Them big titties might mellow the guy out!

Sheesh.

Remember that if someone had done a parody like this about these bozos, we would all be hearing that it was done because the producer was a racist/evil bastard. But there they go doing it in real life. Priceless.

Turkeys and Drumsticks 2014

For seven years running, I have taken advantage of the Thanksgiving Holiday to give out my awards for Turkey of the Year and Golden Drumsticks. The latter are for those who exemplify the best traits in our public sphere. The former are for those who exemplify silliness and stupidity. I rarely give them out to someone who is evil; they are reserved for those who regularly make me shake my head and wonder what they’re thinking. It’s a sort of “thank you” for making blogging easier.

We’ll start with the Turkeys of the Year. For reference, the past winners are:

2007: Alberto Gonzalez, Nancy Pelosi, Hugo Chavez

2008: Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin’s critics, Hillary Clinton, Congress, Joe Biden

2009: Mike Steele, Glen Beck, the State Department, Sarah Palin, Andrew Sullivan.

2010: Janet Napolitano and TSA, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, MSNBC, Lower Merion Schools, California Voters.

2011: Nancy Pelosi, Republican Presidential Field, Occupy Wall Street, Anthony Weiner, the Eurozone.

2012: The Culture Warriors, Unions, The Poll Unskewers, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, MSNBC

2013: Healthcare.gov, the Platinum Coin, the Shutdown Caucus, the National park Service, Fiscal Cliff Panic Mongers.

For this year, I picked:

Jonathan Gruber: #3 was in the lead most of the year. Then #2 took over earlier this month. But the millionaire consultant from MIT has to take the top prize now. The thing about Gruber is not that he made comments that support Halbig. It’s not that he helped create Obamacare. It’s not even that he called the voters stupid. It’s that he revealed the ugly reality that undergirds of much of the progressive movement in this country: the belief that Americans are stupid, that leaders are wise and that the latter must lead the former to good choices through deception, obfuscation and coercion. The most common thing I read on liberal message boards after Grubergate was “Hey, he’s right!” There is a large section of the Left Wing that thinks we need to be ruled by a technocratic elite. Gruber pulled back the veil. And that he looked like a horse’s ass into the bargain was just gravy.

Lamenting Democrats: In the wake of yet another electoral shellacking, the professional whining class went into overdrive, trying to find something, anything to blame for their loss. Random articles about science topics would start with lamenting that evil Republicans were taking over the Senate. Robert Reich screamed that Republicans might use reconciliation to do stuff (reconciliation being a legitimate tactic up until November 3). A thousand articles sprang up about “how to talk to your crazy right-wing uncle/parents/cousin/neighbor/imaginary friend at Thanksgiving about Issue X” (hint: don’t).

I’ve been disappointed by elections. But I hope I never get to the point where the results of an election make me gnash my teeth and rend my garments in such hilarious fashion.

Barack Obama: The only reason his approval ratings aren’t at record lows is because of mindless Democrat loyalty. The economy continues to improve despite the Republicans rejecting every “jobs bill” he proposes. His party got crushed in the election. And his response to this was to … implement immigration reform through executive action (polls show Americans support the policy, but oppose the means). His White House is also becoming famous for what are called “bad optics” and would be called scandalous if Bush were doing it: fund-raising while the Ukraine is in turmoil, having a huge dinner while Ferguson is burning, golfing right after a press conference on an ISIS beheading. He has earned the low poll numbers. And earned a place on this list.

Jim Ardis: Earlier this year, Ardis persuaded a judge to launch a raid on a house because one of the inhabitants was … mocking him on Twitter. He apparently still thinks this was a fine idea. Jim Ardis … meet the Streisand Effect.

(One infuriating note: a judge has upheld the drug charges that resulted from the raid finding drugs in the house. Because warrants to arrest parody account holders are apparently just fine.)

Paul Krugman: Another year for Krugman, another set of factually-challenged opinion pieces apparently written by unpaid interns. My favorite was his assertion that Halbig represented “corruption” in the courts, a claim the indispensable Walter Olson demolishes here. As several bloggers noted, Krugman was a big supporter of the Platinum Coin Caper, where he said, essentially, that we should concentrate on the letter of the law, not the spirit, the opposite of what he’s saying now.

Note, also. This year is coming a cropper for things Krugmans believes in. The Picketty analysis of inequality appears to be badly flawed. And Keynesian ideas are failing all over the globe.

Dishonorable Mention: Wendy Davis, whoever is doing PR for the Ferguson Police, the Ferguson rioters, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, the Secret Service, Mary Landrieu, Everytown USA.

Now the Golden Drumsticks, awarded to those who best exemplified what is right with the world. Here are the past awards, the first round from West Virginia Rebel.

2007: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ron Paul, Barack Obama, David Petraeus, Juan Carlos, Burma’s monks

2008: US Military, Jeff Flake, Ron Paul, Republican Governors, Barack Obama

2009: The American Fighting Man, Kimberly Munley and Mark Todd, George W. Bush

2010: The Tea Party, Chris Christie, Alan Simpson and Erskine Bowles, the Next Wave of Republicans, David Cameron and Nick Clegg, The American Soldiers

2011: Seal Team Six, Mark Kelly, The Arab Spring (ugh), the Technicians at Fukushima

2012: Down Ballots, The Sandy Responders, Glen Doherty and Tyrone Woods, Mathew Inman

2013: Francis I, Edward Snowden, Rand Paul, The American Military, The Institute for Justice

For this year, I picked:

Ebola Responders: In the face of a colossal healthcare crisis and one of the most terrifying diseases out there, Africa has been flooded with volunteers risking their lives to help. Hundreds of healthcare workers in Africa, including Humarr Khan, have been killed trying to comfort or save the dying. Even in this country, we’ve seen nurses and doctors work hard to care for Ebola victims, including two nurses who were infected in Dallas and mercifully saved by modern medicine.

Here’s a little thing about me: I tend to dislike movies about dystopias. Not because I think a dystopia won’t happen or because I’m ignorant about the dark side of human nature. I dislike them because they usually ignore the flip side of human nature: our capacity to be generous, brave and compassionate.

Francis I: He continues to shake up the religious world while adhering closely to Catholic doctrine. My initial impression of him remains unchanged. He is just a good man.

Rand Paul: Paul gave a speech earlier this year that was a rebuke to the neocons: defining a foreign policy that defends our interests while avoiding senseless overseas debacles. He is pushing the Republicans toward reforms of our criminal justice system, our surveillance state and our War on Drugs. I’m a bit worried whether he’ll hold up to the pressure of special interests, especially if he has Presidential aspirations. But right now, he’s doing good.

David Brat and the Republican Candidates: “A monarch’s neck should always have a noose around it—it keeps him upright.” – Robert A. Heinlein. I’m not sure what to make of Brat at this point, but I think his defeat of Cantor is an important reminder to the Republicans of what will happen if the get stupid again. Among the other Republicans running for office this year, there was barely a gaffe to be heard. In fact, the biggest War on Women complaint was about Mark Udall, criticized by his own supporters for talking too much about the War on Women. In general, they stuck to the bread and butter themes of the economy, Obamacare and big government. Let’s hope they deliver.

The Supreme Court: It’s always a mixed year from the Court, but this year they gave us good decisions in Riley, Hobby Lobby, Harris v. Quinn, McCullen v. Coakley, NLRB v. Noel Canning, Town of Greece v. Galloway, Schuette v. BAMN and McCutcheon. They continued their streak of unanimously rejecting Obama’s power grabs. You can check on this year’s key decisions here. There are a few I had issues with but most were solid.

Honorable Mentions: marijuana decriminalization efforts, Scott Walker, Charlie Baker (anyone who defeat Martha Coakley gets a mention), the American military

Put your nominees in the comments. And I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving.

When people show you their worst..

I would have usually cracked a joke and told people involved in stories like this to just go commando, but these ladies might be better off with granny panties anyway, if not a burqua. Hey CM, ever participated in one of these panty brawls? I heard SO and S8 bring popcorn and lawn chairs to these events anyway.

Thanksgiving and the shopping extravaganzas that happen after that remind me why I have so little faith in people, and especially the ones ranting the hardest for idiotic things like social justice when you then find them behaving like this for junk probably manufactured in China by slave labor.

How much does this cost again?

Let’s level set and get something out of the way here before I go on my rant about how Harvard now has an anal sex 101 class it will offer, and while I love the idea – because the chicks attending that class are going to be easy and game for some anal. Sure the risk is that the class will be full of dudes that are into this stuff, and believe me as a lesbian trapped in a man’s body I empathize with gays, but bagging even one of these freaky chicks can be entertaining – this is just wrong on so many levels.

I have always felt that college was the only major expense where the majority of Americans partaking attempt to actually get the least return for their huge investment. Partying hard, last I checked, when you are plopping down tens of thousands of dollars a year, while avoiding as much of the work as you can get away with – especially when you already pick out a one of the many fluff degrees these esteemed institutions still charge an arm and a leg for so you can avoid real work – appears to be the experience of practically all college attendees, with a few exceptions. When you have a masters degree program with some 450 students in it, and only 3 of us are not from some other country, you know that’s a degree you got to bust your ass for. The people at the bar every night of the week, and home only because they had no money to go there, prove my point.

This phenomenon of avoiding work seems to be even worse today. Way too many of these colleges and universities have dumbed down their curricula on top of that. Paying a lot of money, or worse, hocking your future by accruing anywhere from $50-150K in student loan debt for degrees that will never pay back that investment in the first place, seems like an insane exercise to me. Harvard ain’t cheap. When you are dropping close to $55K a year for your kid to go there, finding out they are taking a class about butt seks may be something that affects your blood pressure, and plays into my conviction that today’s college education ain’t worth the cost anymore.

My advice to the young today is to learn a trade and get some real work ethics, and avoid college unless they are actually paying for a degree that will return on the investment. I think it is becoming pretty obvious that working hard, especially when you are offering a service that will not be obsoleted, offshored, or outsourced, is far more of a guarantor of success and decent income than the accrual of huge debt and a piece of paper for a fluff degree. And as more people wise up to this reality, things are going to change. In the meantime, pine for the butt seks classes and the lost opportunities.

The Ivy league ain’t what it used to be.