So … to quote a great sage, let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.
Yesterday, CNN ran an explosive story that the CIA had briefed Trump on Russian efforts to compromise him.
The allegations were presented in a two-page synopsis that was appended to a report on Russian interference in the 2016 election. The allegations came, in part, from memos compiled by a former British intelligence operative, whose past work US intelligence officials consider credible. The FBI is investigating the credibility and accuracy of these allegations, which are based primarily on information from Russian sources, but has not confirmed many essential details in the memos about Mr. Trump.
The two-page synopsis also included allegations that there was a continuing exchange of information during the campaign between Trump surrogates and intermediaries for the Russian government, according to two national security officials.
The report says Russia was trying to get information that would compromise Trump personally, financially or ethically.
Soon after that Buzzfeed ran the full report of allegations, which runs some 35 pages. It includes allegations that Trump people worked directly with the Russians and has some details on supposed compromising information. Buzzfeed stressed that this was unconfirmed but the internet and liberals jumped all over it.
And then it got even stranger. Every journalist on Twitter said that they’d gotten the same report as Buzzfeed but had refused to run it. The reason? Nothing in it could be verified (and as Liz Mair and other pointed out, there were reasons to doubt its authenticity even on its own merits). And then it got even stranger when Redditors began to claim the entire thing was a hoax sent to Rick Wilson as a joke (Wilson denies being the source of it). Trump, of course, took to Twitter to foam at the mouth about it.
So … to sum up … there is a document floating around making various claims about Trump and the Russians. It is from a single intelligence source, is absolutely unverified and contains information that crosses many as dubious. Buzzfeed, for reasons that elude me, decided to release the entire thing without any fact-checking. Based on this, a substantial part of the Left Wing — who were crying about “fake news” like yesterday — is calling for Trump to be impeached (although, TBF, they call for Trump to be impeached when it rains). So, in case you thought the bad crazy was going away, it isn’t.
(Necessary caveat, since I get accused of being a secret Trumpaloo anytime I defend him: Putin is a murderous kleptocrat; it’s alarming that he may have helped Trump in the election; it should be investigated thoroughly; this does not delegitimize Trump’s election; unless Trump worked with him, this is not an impeachable offense.)
Now … those are the facts. Here’s the fun:
The most frenzied allegation in the report was that, while in Russia, Trump rented out the Presidential Suite at the Ritz Carlton and had Russian hookers pee on a bed the Obamas had slept in. I’ll be honest with you: as much as dislike Trump, this allegation sounds like a bunch of manure.
Trump’s “thing” isn’t sex; it’s worship. He’s a shameless braggart and a terribly insecure man. Hence slapping his name on everything in sight. Hence his insistence that Marla Maples tell the media he was the best sex she ever had. Hence his claims to have seduced married women and groped models. The Billy Bush tape was Trump in a nutshell: a rich 59-year-old man so desperate to impress people that he had to boast about sexual assault to a D-list celebrity. Hell, the rumor is that his entire Presidential campaign was motivated by his humiliation at the White House Correspondents Dinner. Frankly, he doesn’t cross me as well-adjusted enough or secure enough in who he is to be kinky.
But, maybe. My friend Maggie McNeill took to Twitter to note that many politicians see sex workers and many have unusual requests. The only reason it doesn’t come out is because sex workers, unlike politicians, have ethics. So it could be true.
But I honestly don’t care. Whatever Trump is into, that’s his business and not ours. There are many people who are into being peed on or watching people pee and, if that makes them happy and everyone’s a consenting adult, that’s their business. As long as Trump’s not breaking any laws or coercing anyone, I don’t care. Well … no … I do care because it’s fun to mock the powerful. Viz:
1. This report is highly suspicious.
2. Only a man of iron could resist the opportunity to make jokes.
3. I am not that man.
— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) January 11, 2017
While I take issue with the media running these allegations, there is some humor in Mr "Ted Cruz's dad killed JFK" being the target
— Erick Erickson (@EWErickson) January 11, 2017
OH COME ON https://t.co/tXEPsUPQE5
— Hal 10000 (@Hal_RTFLC) January 11, 2017
As much of a jackass I think Trump is, him getting a golden shower from some sex workers is literally the least bad thing he's ever done.
— mistressmatisse (@mistressmatisse) January 11, 2017
So, yes, I will find some relief as this story swirls around the internet. I think that these kind of leaks are dangerous but I don’t mind too much when they anger our #1 businessman. I’m sure that this won’t stop Trump from taking care of business no matter how much it pisses him off. And, who knows? Maybe I’m wrong about his Administration and a bright golden future really does await us. Maybe he will write his name on the wall of history.
I’ll show myself out.