Year in Review

They year hasn’t ended until Dave Barry posts his Year in Review. And you know this one’s going to be a humdinger:

Let’s begin with the gruesome train wreck that was the presidential election. The campaign began with roughly 14,000 candidates running. Obviously not all of them were qualified to be president; some of them — here we are thinking of “Lincoln Chafee” — were probably imaginary. But a reasonable number of the candidates seemed to meet at least the minimum standard that Americans have come to expect of their president in recent decades, namely: Not Completely Horrible.

So this mass of candidates began the grim death march that is the modern American presidential campaign — trudging around Iowa pretending to care about agriculture, performing in an endless series of televised debates like suit-wearing seals trained to bark out talking points, going to barbecue after barbecue and smiling relentlessly through mouthfuls of dripping meat, giving the same speech over and over and over, shaking millions of hands, posing for billions of selfies and just generally humiliating themselves in the marathon group grovel that America insists on putting its presidential candidates through.

After all that, the American people, looking for a leader, ended up with a choice between ointment and suppository. The fall campaign was an unending national nightmare, broadcast relentlessly on cable TV. CNN told us over and over that Donald Trump was a colossally ignorant, narcissistic, out-of-control sex-predator buffoon; Fox News countered that Hillary Clinton was a greedy, corrupt, coldly calculating liar of massive ambition and minimal accomplishment. And in our hearts we knew the awful truth: They were both right.

It wasn’t just bad. It was the Worst. Election. Ever.

This is the one thing right before New Year’s I always look forward to. And Barry doesn’t disappoint.

Comments are closed.

  1. West Virginia Rebel

    Sometimes I do wonder if Trump is real or we’re all just imagining him.

    On the positive side, this was a pretty good year for TV shows that were outside the mainstream. Westworld, Stranger Things, Bojack Horseman, etc. Network TV seemed intent on mining the past and superheroes for lack of originality.

    It was the year of real news claiming fake news has taken over when real news has had plenty of fake moments itself. It was the year of the Trump Effect worldwide, from Brexit to election results in France and Italy. It was the year of snowflake meltdowns as the adults tried to take back over. It was a year of celebrity cullings from David Bowie to Carrie Fisher. Other decades have had their mid decade doldrums, the 2010s seem to be having mid decade delirium.

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  2. InsipiD

    It’s time for 2016 to be over.  Obama is trying his best to create trouble for his successor and showing in the process that Vladimir Putin is the one who knows how to handle a transition in US power with proper grace and respect.  It’s just too bad the important day is so close and so far away.  Obama himself has managed to do something that the entire 2016 election hadn’t done: make it an emergency to get rid of him again.

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  3. AlexInCT

    Obama was damaged by Obama. He was a narcissist douche with delusions of grandeur, a penchant for lies and believing them himself, and no skills other than breaking people into little groups and sicking them at each other and talking himself up. The only way you can say that “the right” damaged Obama, is by finding it wrong that the shit got so bad that they stopped believing the lying DNC operatives with bylines, called them out when they not only refused to tell the truth about how inept, corrupt, and freedom  hating Obama was, but actually lied to cover that crap being done by him and his administration up. Obama spent 6 year blaming Boosh for fucking things up, then after that spent the next 2 inflaming division and turning people on each other. The problem is the ideology: the shit you leftards believe in never works. Unfortunately, no matter how many times this thing plays itself out for us to see what it devolves into, you people refuse to accept that it simply doesn’t work.

    BTW, Obama wouldn’t know what the “right” action to take was if his children’s lives depended on it. As I pointed out when he won in 2008: the man is way in over his head, will fuck it all up and make Carter look like a genius, not because of anybody else, but because of what he believes in. Collectivism doesn’t work outside the family unit because of human nature and the laws of reality, but the left refuses to believe that and has spent over a century fucking the world over trying to make it work. Every time it ends the same way, with calamity, misery, and death. Over a hundred million people killed and billions imprisoned so far, and the story keeps playing out the same way. But every fucking time the tools that believe in this shit will come out and tell you the problem was the kulaks and wreckers, the implementation, the people in charge, or a combination of the above. Here is a clue idiots: short of the second coming of Christ to run this system (you need someone with omniscience and no base human emotions/instincts), you will always be stuck with the wrong people, the wreckers & kulaks, and the same results. If you understood the scientific process and how it works, you would by know realized you had proven, or disproved in this case, the hypothesis that this stuff is viable.

    What is the definition of insanity again?

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  4. AlexInCT

    How does that change the point I made? People like you will never accept that the problem is your ideology, and will always find other things to blame the usual failures that come from that way of thinking. Social engineering is a disasterous thing that always ends in misery, poverty for the masses, oppression, and ultimately death, but the left is hell bent on always blaming externalities for the failures of a broken ideology that refuses to accept that reality will not bend itself to the left’s wishful thinking.

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  5. CM

    How does it matter that you just rewrote your generic ideological rant which has nothing to do with the non-veto on the settlements? Where to begin.

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