Because Everything is Awful

In the last election cycle, I ran a five-part series on the Presidential campaign detailing my feelings of the case for and against each candidate. I’m contemplating doing that again, if there’s interest. But it’s really hard to write something positive about these two jokers. Here’s a summary of what our Presidential candidates have been up to for the last few days:

Donald Trump attacked a fire marshall for enforcing fire code, responded angrily to the gold star father who criticized him at the DNC rally (saying, among other things, that’s he’s sacrificed for our country) and said he would support a $10 minimum wage. Oh, and he’s ready to sell out the Ukraine.

Clinton, meanwhile, gave an acceptance speech that went over like a lead balloon and was filled with trillions of dollar in promises. And this morning, she claimed that the e-mail investigation vindicated her:

This is the complete opposite of what Comey said. In his announcement to not indict, he specifically called out multiple Clinton falsehoods (e.g., no classified e-mails were compromised). Wikileaks is also hinting at more leaks from both the DNC and the Clinton campaign itself. Apparently the Democrats think cyber-security is locking the door to your server room.

Sometime in the future, we’re going to find a document signed in blood on which a drunk Clinton and a blazed Trump wrote down their pact to make the 2016 election the worst ever. It’s almost like they’re trying to outdo each other, to see just how awful a candidate they can be and still get elected. Right now, Trump has the lead on pure insanity. But Clinton is highly competitive in the sleazy socialist category.

By the time November rolls around, there won’t be enough alcohol out there to keep the nation sane.

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  1. West Virginia Rebel

    I figure by debate time (which Trump is already complaining about being up against football, or something) both candidates will have completely reversed their respective parties’ long standing positions on the issues. We already saw Team America on display at the DNC; I wouldn’t be surprised if the Republicans become even more statist-socialist than the Democrats no matter who wins.

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  2. ilovecress

    Perhaps a slightly less depressing way to do it would be to have a couple of predictions of what’s going to happen over the next 3 months. Then we can all revisit this post after the election and point out how catastrophically wrong each other were thunderdome style?

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  3. AlexInCT

    Frank Underwood is sounding better and better.

    He definitely seems less crooked and less of a megalomaniac than our current choices….

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  4. Starving Writer

    And throughout this whole wrecked campaign, the media will blithely ignore the one candidate who actually can step in and fix things — Gary Johnson — because he’s a “third party candidate” and third parties never win, so what’s the point of covering him?

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