I went with my kid to watch “White House Down” despite knowing it was gonna suck ass from what little I head read about the plot. I am glad to see it is bombing at the theater. That’s because not even all the action and violence can save this idiotic Hollywood paean to the myth that “The Won” is a great peace maker. Seriously, when are the leftists going to give up trying to help a guy we would all be calling the worst president of the last century if it wasn’t for his skin color?
Spoilers to follow.
There aren’t many movies that will make me care one way or another about how stupid the premise is, but this one drove me to do some writing, because it was so fucking idiotic. Let me admit that I am a painful person to watch movies with. I usually figure plots out within the first few minutes – the stories have all been told – and I can see those twists that are supposed to surprise people coming a mile away. And nothing causes a movie to piss me off more than Hollywood’s liberty with reality and how things work I real life. Yeah, I know it is a movie and that I should chill, but man does it piss me off when you have a gasoline explosion that mushrooms hundreds of feet into the air when a few grenades go off. WTF? I can pretend all car accidents end up in such explosions for the sake of movie action, but grenades? Jesus-titty-fucking-Christ! This movie is replete with such idiotic shit, but that’s not what pissed me off.
It’s the idiotic plot. President Obam.., erm I mean Sawyer has basically gone to Iran where he brokered a deal that he claims will bring peace to the Middle East as soon as the US pulls all its forces from the area. Never mind that the Iranian thugs, like the old masters of the USSR in the days of the Cold War which would sport boners every time these morons talked about unilateral nuclear disarmament on our part, would welcome such a move, not because it would bring peace, but because it would basically leave them free to do whatever the fuck they want. It looks like the children of the nuclear disarmament movement learned nothing, because the current crop of idiots on the left and in Hollywood still are naïve enough to believe the bad guy is always us. It’s the military-industrial-complex in the US and the politicians that are beholden to that entity, that’s the root of all evil. Iran would all but turn into a peaceful paradise if the US but left the area and we stopped selling weapons to them all. Yeah, talk about being a fucking unicorn worshipping idiot if you buy this kind of nonsense, but here is Hollywood again selling this bullshit even after the end of the Cold War.
Anyway, the naïve and benevolent Sawyer gets in big trouble as the WH comes under attack by a cabal comprised of the retiring chief of the Secret Service, some angry mercs, and of course, the evil Rethuglican Speaker which is in the pocket of the military-industrial-complex, and unable to see that if the US but leaves and stops selling arms peace will suddenly follow, and all that money his buddies will stop making selling arms, now can magically be used to pay for free healthcare! Fuck, this plot is too stupid to fool anyone but an imbecile. Of course, the good guys win, and in the end China, Russia, Israel, and yes, even Iran, all agree to the deal, and not only that, they all want peace on earth. Queue the “Kumbaya” theme and the cheesy ending that should convince anyone currently thinking it was bad idea to give that pre-emptive peace prize to the Community Organizer in Chief that he deserves it and should be handed another.
Seriously, save your money and avoid this thing. It’s not even worth paying for it to just watch the lame action sequences. I think you can get a better political philosophy and a more pertinent moral message from episodes of “Jersey Shore” than you will from this leftist fairy tale with the twisted and idiotic notion that we should give peace a chance because violence never solves anything, except, that is, from the massive amount of violence in the movie that’s needed to get rid of the bad and evil capitalists, that is. Hollywood is so fucking passé. If you want a real idea of what the age of Obama looks like, read this instead.