Hey Mr DJ: Cock-Blockers Edition

If you were expecting a sweet post-Valentine’s Day Love Song thread, well, no. Another time, perhaps.

Instead, I was pleasantly surprised to see the Senate GOP successfully block voting on Chuck Hagel’s nomination for Secretary of Defense. Some call it “a filibuster”, but it was more of a parliamentary cock-blocking. When a cock-block is executed well, it knocks out a guy (who is aiming out of his league to begin with) with ease and it is more funny than sad to watch, however crushed the victim may be. Hagel, like most guys who get hilariously cock-blocked, doesn’t really deserve much sympathy for having his piece of the action callously denied to him. He was probably going to fail in any case.

Once cock-blocked, the cock-blockee can always hope for sloppy seconds later. Hagel can have another go when the Senate returns from recess, but the shame and inadequacy has already left its mark on the legislative record. Yet he’ll meekly wait his turn, because what the fuck else is he going to do? Wait for something better? Right.

This music thread goes out to the blocked. The perpetually frustrated. The toyed with. The deliberately denied and those denied deliberation. Also, the blockers themselves. Here are the options:

1. Cock-Blocking: Guy meets girl. Likes girl. Other guy steps in and takes girl because he neither fears nor respects that guy, who is in fact a whiny twat that will likely get emo over it. Just bluntly about that topic. Can’t be that uncommon, can it? We can go gay too. A vagina does not necessarily need to be involved for a cock-block.

2. Cunt-Blocked: Same thing as #1, but reverse the genders.

3. Cock-Belloq’d: “So once again, Jones, what was briefly yours is now mine.” We can really apply this to anything lost and gained by cocksure behavior.

4. Country-Blocked: Ruin the playlist with videos that have been blocked, removed, and muted.

5. Cock-Knocked: Turning the tables. Knock the guy out, George McFly-style.

Bummed Bonus: Never gonna get it never gonna get it, never gonna get it never gonna get it, never gonna get it (ohhh whoa whoa whoa) never get it…Run away with other commenters’ favorite bands and tracks.


I totally ran off with your dedications and kept you from having these:

Perfect Situation by Weezer

Bird Dog by The Everly Brothers

A Man’s Gotta Do from Dr. Horrible’s Sing-A-Long Blog.

She’s My Baby by Mazzy Star

Is She Really Going Out With Him? by Joe Jackson

I Got A Girl by Tripping Daisy

The Bad Thing by Arctic Monkeys

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