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The Bubble Bandit

Headdesk:

A 5-year-old girl was suspended from school earlier this week after she made what the school called a “terrorist threat.”

Her weapon of choice? A small, Hello Kitty automatic bubble blower.
The kindergartner, who attends Mount Carmel Area Elementary School in Pennsylvania, caught administrators’ attention after suggesting she and a classmate should shoot each other with bubbles.

The kindergartner was ordered to undergo a psychological evaluation during her 10-day suspension, which was later reduced to two days. The evaluation deemed the girl normal and not a threat to others, Ficker said.

The Mount Carmel Area School District told ABC News, “We are confident that much of the information supplied to the media may not be consistent with the facts… The Mount Carmel Area School District takes the well-being and safety of students and staff very seriously.”

This is just one of a series of massive over-reactions we’ve seen in the wake of Sandy Hook.

Across the country, schools are locking doors that weren’t locked before, even though, at Sandy Hook, the door WAS locked. They are hiring guards, even though, at Sandy Hook, the gunman blasted anyone who got in his way. They are implementing voodoo-esque defenses, like making parents call 24 hours in advance of a visit to the school, or forcing parents to forfeit their car keys upon entering the school, or even just making everyone start signing in — as if a madman bent on mass murder would reconsider if he had to sign a piece of paper. “Oh, do I have a photo I.D. with me?…I guess, uh…never mind.”

Of course, the tragedy in Newtown shocks and dismays us. But it shouldn’t make us fundamentally change our schools, because nothing else has fundamentally changed — except our fear level. One mom wrote to me yesterday that her children’s school had scrapped its “Go inside a classroom if you hear gunfire” policy and was now telling students to run outside, or crawl into the drop-down ceiling (how???), or, if they are in the parking lot, to drive away (but not to any particular place) — in effect, endorsing panic. And a few posts below this one, a mom was protesting the $2.4 MILLION her school district is considering spending on school guards.

And, of course, they are stepped up zero-tolerance policies. Because you know if you let a kindergartner bring a bubble gun today, tomorrow it might be a bazooka.

What we have here is a group of panic-stricken people running wild embracing any policy that sounds like it might help. This, of course, delights the people who have long had a list of things they want to implement — gun control, locked down schools, video game censorship. It is time for people to stand up and say, “No, enough! Prove to me that X will save lives before we even consider it.”

8 comments

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  1. Xetrov says:

    But you don’t understand, Hal. Her “Bubble Blower” had an accessory rail and pistol grip, thereby making it an assault weapon, and at least three times as deadly as the standard bubble blower without the pistol grip. Plus it was designed to look scary too.

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  2. Hal_10000 says:

    An assault bubble blower! I wonder if I can get one for Sal 11000 Beta’s next birthday.

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  3. Section8 says:

    The kindergartner was ordered to undergo a psychological evaluation during her 10-day suspension, which was later reduced to two days.

    Well as the saying goes, the Soviets won the cold war without firing a shot.

    Perhaps the administrators need to undergo an evaluation to see if they can handle situations in a rational manner.

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  4. TxAg94 says:

    I contend that if anything triggers the girls to have problems later in life, no pun intended, it will be the “psychological evaluation” she was forced to undergo because she played with bubbles. The good news is that the panic is justifying more of the “administrators” that have taken over our education system. The reason they go overboard is because otherwise they have nothing to do and can’t justify their existence. If you implement enough programs and policies, which is best done under cover of a panic, you can find something for each of these morons to be in charge of.

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  5. InsipiD says:

    Could the psych evaluation consist of the psychiatrist declaring the girl to be normal, sight unseen, and declare the teacher to be an asshat?

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  6. AlexInCT says:

    Could the psych evaluation consist of the psychiatrist declaring the girl to be normal, sight unseen, and declare the teacher to be an asshat?

    Since most psych types tend to be libs, I doubt this possible outcome will ever occur. The more likely event is that she is told she needs to spend ecades being indoctrinated with conflicting nonsense that will leave here totally disfunctional and dependant on the state for her most basic needs, and deathly afraid of anything the intelligentia has labled as icky (like guns). This will make them consider her a model citizen. Of course she could also go the ay of Kaczynski, and blow up some people she feels are holding down the common man.

    There has got to be some new government program that can come out of all this dysfunction though….. get the problem?

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  7. Hal_10000 says:

    I contend that if anything triggers the girls to have problems later in life, no pun intended, it will be the “psychological evaluation” she was forced to undergo because she played with bubbles.

    Yes! Not just that, but living in a panic-driven society that thinks that everything is a threat.

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  8. Mississippi Yankee says:

    This is just one of a series of massive over-reactions we’ve seen in the wake of Sandy Hook.

    Actually these type of things have been happening for several years now. Pretty much at couple a month (two boys using finger guns last week). But in the wake of Sandy Hook you’ll be hearing about them more, and from some unlikely sources too.

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