The Sandy Hook Conspiracy Theorists

You knew it would come. You just didn’t know how vile it would get:

Yes, there really are Newtown truthers.

But in the crazy world of Sandy Hook conspiracy theories, this one may be the worst yet.

In the latest angle, theorists think they have found “absolute proof” of a conspiracy to defraud the American people. “You reported in December that this little girl had been killed,” a reader emailed Salon in response to a story. “She has been found, and photographed with President Obama.”

The girl in question is Emilie Parker, a 6-year-old who was shot multiple times and killed at Sandy Hook. But for conspiracy theorists, the tears her family shed at her funeral, the moving eulogy from Utah’s governor, and the entire shooting spree are fake. Welcome to the world where Sandy Hook didn’t really happen.

The crux of the theory is a photograph of Parker’s sister sitting on President Obama’s lap when he visited with the victims’ families. The girl is wearing the same dress Emilie wore in a pre-shooting photograph of the family shared with media, so she must be Emilie, alive and well. “BAM! I cannot believe how idiot these people are [sic]… That’s her,” one YouTuber exclaims as he watches the two images superimposed on each other. (Apparently missed by these crack investigators is the possibility that the sister wore Emilie’s dress and that they look alike because they are sisters, after all.)

Here’s the thing about conspiracy theories: they never make any fucking sense. The 9/11 Truthers had an elaborate plan involving missiles, remote control planes, explosive charges and secret planes to Canada. If you were going to stage 9/11, the easiest way would be to actually do it. But their theory was built on misunderstanding pieces of evidence and trying to shoehorn something into those lacunae. So they needed missiles to explain their misunderstanding of the Pentagon damage. But they still needed planes to explain the actual footage of the towers. And thus the Demented Rube Goldberg 9/11 Truther Theory was born.

The Sandy Hook theories already debunk themselves. For example, they can’t seem to decide if the kids were killed or not. That should be pretty straight forward, right? Dozens of people saw and handled the bodies and hundreds knew the victims. Hard to get out of that. But suddenly the victims are alive again so the theorists can explain their inability to understand a picture of the President. And if our President is so brilliant as to fake a shooting, how is he so stupid as to pose with one of the victims? Why would you have her around anyway if it was all staged?

It gets worse. I tweeted a story about a 69 y/o man who found and comforted six kids the night of the shooting. Man was one of the many heroes of that night, in his small but important way. They’re going after him too:

“I don’t know what to do,” sighed Gene Rosen. “I’m getting hang-up calls, I’m getting some calls, I’m getting emails with, not direct threats, but accusations that I’m lying, that I’m a crisis actor, ‘how much am I being paid?’” Someone posted a photo of his house online. There have been phony Google+ and YouTube accounts created in his name, messages on white supremacist message boards ridiculing the “emotional Jewish guy,” and dozens of blog posts and videos “exposing” him as a fraud. One email purporting to be a business inquiry taunted: “How are all those little students doing? You know, the ones that showed up at your house after the ‘shooting’. What is the going rate for getting involved in a gov’t sponsored hoax anyway?”

Someone sent me a link to one of the truther videos. I won’t link to it but it was pretty easy to see through. It relies heavily on the uncertain and sometimes contradictory reporting in the early hours of the shooting. It also includes a bad morph of Emilie Parker and psychic insight into the minds of people talking to cameras. It’s obscene.

I don’t want to spend too much time on these assholes. Every time I think the conspiracy theorists reach the bottom, they manage to find a new low. Accusing the Administration and others of taking advantage of the shooting to advance a political agenda is one thing (indeed, New York just passed a gun control bill with a haste that makes the Patriot Act look thoughtful). But to accuse parents who have suffered the most awful loss imaginable of being actors?

There are no words.

Comments are closed.


    wow, .. the only conspiracy theory i have heard, was the shooter used the handguns and not the rifle… claiming that the AR was in the trunk of the car, and linking a video showing it being removed from the trunk… which clearly in the video it is a semiauto shot gun….

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  2. AlexInCT

    After Fast & Furious, I think people would be remiss to not suspect anything and everything form the scumbags now eagerly and with great joy exploiting this tragedy for their own purposes. Frankly I suspect some foul play about Sandy Hook myself, but it isn’t this sort of ludicrous conspiracy theorizing. This shit is akin to the whole WTC collapse bullshit about steel not melting and controlled explosions being used: it is too big in scope and these inept fucks would not be able to cover it up. At least not for long.

    There are a lot of facts however I am waiting for that the media isn’t reporting on, and I am betting this is on purpose. As Harley mentioned, I am very interested in finding out what the breakdown of the weapons used to kill with was. I have a suspicion that we have not heard any of these details because this evil lunatic did most of his killing with the hand guns and the left is more interested in pretending it was done with the other weapons, so they can keep up the feigned anger and need for action. What about the fact that Adam gained access to a locked down building? Who let him in and why? How did he go about choosing his targets and why?

    Too many questions remain unanswered while the sole focus is on gun grabbing regulations and keeping the people panicked so they let these horrible infractions on our liberty be perpetrated. While a lot is unknown, and there will be things we will never find out, there are many details they do know but I suspect are being held back, because they would affect the narrative and the exploitation of the tragedy the left is hoping to ride to a gun ban after the SCOTUS ruling that recently clobbered their efforts to disarm the people. That’s the real conspiracy going on.

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  3. Hal_10000 *

    What about the fact that Adam gained access to a locked down building? Who let him in and why? How did he go about choosing his targets and why?

    I believe these questions have been answered. He got in by shooting out a window. That was the initial explosion that drew the attention of the principal. And he picks the classes because they were the first ones he encountered.

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  4. Xetrov

    Here’s the list of 23 Executive Actions Obama just created. I’ve got to say I agree with most of them. That being said, I cannot support an “Assault Weapon” Ban unless someone can explain to me how an accessory rail or pistol grip makes a gun more deadly or likely to be used in a murder. And I can’t really support the 10 round Magazine limit he wants – carry three magazines, you’re just as deadly as the 30 round magazine (See VA Tech)

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  5. AlexInCT

    I believe these questions have been answered.

    And I certainly don’t. I live right here in CT, and I have heard so many version of what happened that it is obvious the LSM didn’t know the facts or was trying to confound things on purpose. When you ask you get suspicious looks, because you obviously are doing so to undermine the much needed “sensible” new gun laws. What a crock of shit.

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  6. Fangbeer


    I used to post here a lot back during the right-thoughts, Moorewatch days. Since the loss of Lee, and the breakup of the sites I’ve moved on to other debate forums. I registered here because of this single post.

    You’re smarter than this.

    The issue with confusion is due to the media’s drive to be the first to report something. It has nothing to do with an attempt to “confound things on purpose.” The questions you have have been answered, both by Lt Vance, and by subsequent interviews of witnesses.

    I think people would be remiss to not suspect anything and everything form the scumbags now eagerly and with great joy exploiting this tragedy for their own purposes.

    This is straight up crazy talk. Asking FFL holders to allow straw purchases to talk place is one thing. Murdering classrooms full of children is completely different. It only takes one small step to tall off a cliff. Pull yourself back on firm ground before you’re in conspiracy theory free fall barking about fake moon landings and the Illuminati.

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