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Louisiana Considers Secession to Delight of Non-Residents

If you’re not following Victoria Jackson on Facebook (yes, her), you really need to.  She reads WND and believes it so you don’t have to.

Some intrepid people in Louisiana have submitted a petition to the White House to let their state secede from the Union.  Again.   It’s stupid, of course, because if they meet their quota, the White House will just say “no” and the president will no doubt take the opportunity to make a funny joke at the expense of people who dislike him.  And the press corps will laugh along and hoot at how stupid red state people are.  It’s already comical because 90% of the signatures I see on there already are from outside Louisiana and many are in blue states. 

Maybe this would be the good compromise Seattle Outcast was after: Let Louisiana out and let Puerto Rico in so we don’t have to change the flag. 

Up to you if you want to sign or not.  If you do choose to, I’d like to know why you did it.

UPDATE: This post has been getting some search engine attention so I’m going to seriously address the questions I’m seeing.

These petitions mean absolutely nothing.  Even if the White House approves such a thing, your state would still need to hold a referendum or pass an ordinance of secession in its state legislature to finalize it.

None of this is serious.  The position of the federal government is that the United States is indivisible.  I’ll refer you to the Supreme Court case Texas v. White.   Any attempt to secede from the US by any state or group of states would certainly lead to the federal government intervening and arresting every state official responsible.

We had the Civil War because the Confederate states voted to secede and President Lincoln chose to stop them from doing so with military force.  There isn’t any reason to think Obama would do any differently, really.  Peaceful secession is simply out of the question at this time, with or without a petition. 

Save your state some embarrassment and ignore these petitions.  Let’s get a Constitutional Convention going instead.

89 comments

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  1. Hal_10000 says:

    Louisiana gets far more in federal aid than they pay in taxes. The taxpayers paid all the repair and help for Katrina and pay all their flood control bills. If they secede, the entire state will go belly up.

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  2. repmom says:

    So who in that state actually thinks they can manage on their own? Seriously.

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  3. repmom says:

    Is anyone besides me tempted to sign it, just for the heck of it?

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  4. Mississippi Yankee says:

    Louisiana gets far more in federal aid than they pay in taxes. The taxpayers paid all the repair and help for Katrina and pay all their flood control bills.

    Please explain the downside to letting the Mississippi River seek it’s own level in New Orleans.

    Thrill.
    Unlike Louisiana Texas DOES NOT require Washington’s permission to leave the Union. Their State constitution and the fact that they were once a sovereign nation plays in to it.

    When you consider they have large ports for both commodities and oil, a huge military footprint, their own oil resources, a border with another country, the fastest growing manufacturing sector and the second fastest growing economy in the nation (after North Dakota). It also doesn’t hurt that the governor isn’t afraid to bounce it off the wall too.

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  5. Hal_10000 says:

    Please explain the downside to letting the Mississippi River seek it’s own level in New Orleans.

    I don’t. I always thought that the proper response to Katrina was to admit that building an entire city below sea level was a bad idea. But that’s not the way Louisiana politicians saw it. And, unfortunately, it’s not the way two Administrations saw it.

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  6. Thrill says:

    Unlike Louisiana Texas DOES NOT require Washington’s permission to leave the Union. Their State constitution and the fact that they were once a sovereign nation plays in to it.

    Well, no petition is required per se. Some random guy in the state is asking the federal government to let LA peacefully secede. Texas, Louisiana, and the other CSA all passed ordinances of secession in their state houses. They didn’t petition anybody to secede.

    Any state can choose to secede at any time but the federal government can choose to stop that state with military force. Texas included.

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  7. Mississippi Yankee says:

    Any state can choose to secede at any time but the federal government can choose to stop that state with military force. Texas included.

    On my way out the door(date night) but I’m 99.97% (ORA) certain that Texas has a unique circumstance in their rules for secession.

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  8. Thrill says:

    I don’t know about that, MY, but I don’t feel like looking it up. Whatever it was, it didn’t hold up in 1865 and there’s no reason to think it would hold up now. No provision in Texas’s state constitution can override the federal government’s position that statehood in the Union is permanent.

    The only two options for secession are: “Secede and Defeat the Federal Government Militarily” or “Get the Federal Government to Allow Peaceful Secession.”

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  9. Thrill says:

    Is anyone besides me tempted to sign it, just for the heck of it?

    I’d have to say yes. It’s gone viral and the amount of signatures has nearly doubled since I posted about it. They should have no trouble getting the required number, not that it matters.

    I say go ahead and do it if you got a few minutes to burn.

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  10. Seattle Outcast says:

    Just merge it with Louisiana so they can get stupid AND corrupt on a daily basis….

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  11. Mississippi Yankee says:

    I don’t know about that, MY, but I don’t feel like looking it up

    I’ll look it up but an alien is dragging me away from my keyboard and making threats… and promises too

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  12. Kimpost says:

    The list seems to be growing. :)

    New York
    Colorado
    Oregon
    New Jersey
    North Dakota
    Montana
    Indiana
    Mississippi
    Georgia
    Kentucky
    Florida
    North Carolina
    Alabama
    Texas

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  13. Seattle Outcast says:

    Just merge it with Louisiana so they can get stupid AND corrupt on a daily basis….

    God, I need to stop posting right before I go to bed. I wake up and “did I just flub that like I think I did?” about 10 hours later, and yep, I always did.

    Louisiana wants to secede? Too bad for them we already fought a war that say “no fucking way”, but I’m always up for “reorganizing” the states into something that actually reflects commonality amongst the populace.

    I this case I thinking that Mississippi and Louisiana, both home to poverty, ignorance, hurricanes, and colorful people that everybody else laughs at, might make a good state. But I was tired, and who in the hell wants to get stuck with a bunch of corrupt fucks like they have in NOLA? Hell, they make movies about how fucked up that place is.

    How to honestly reorganize the country? I don’t know that much the inappropriately called “midwest” to comment on that, but as for a lot of the rest of it, it’s easy.

    First, take Seattle to Portland and the coastal mountains and make that one state. The plains from there to the Rockies down to the California border becomes another state. Most of Idaho becomes part of Utah, and the rest of it merges with the non-Mormon mountainous areas of MT, CO, and WY. All of the northern great plains gets turned into two states called East and West “Frozen Shithole.” Those people are on their own for being stupid enough to live there.

    I’d take California and start by cutting away the northern mountainous area from the rest of it, and then split out the major metropolitan areas as separate city-states (which needs to happen everywhere that the majority of the population lives in a major city that fucks with the suburbs and the rural areas), renaming them as “People’s State of San Francisco”, etc so people won’t be confused as to just what goes on there. These people will have not authority to enact any laws outside of their city limits. The desert southwest will get the non-voting enclave of “snowbird” cut out of it. If you no longer add to the tax base, you don’t get to determine how it’s spent.

    As for the gulf coast, that area needs to be it’s own state and not attached to the inland states more than 50 miles from the water. Major cities extracted (Houston, NOLA, etc). I envision a “Mega City One” type designation for Boston to DC, Chicago gets turned into a prison state, and Detroit used for target practice officially this time around.

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  14. Thrill says:

    MIght as well just get rid of the concept of states at this point. What does statehood even matter anymore?

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  15. Mississippi Yankee says:

    SO sometimes your ignorance of facts, people and locations astounds me.

    Neither Louisiana nor Mississippi have had an election FUBAR in 30 years yet your retiring governor’s win over Dino Rossi in 2004 is STILL being called into question. In fact Minnesota used her election tactics/fraud to slip Al Franken in as the 60th senator.

    “People who live in glass houses… “

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  16. Seattle Outcast says:

    Neither Louisiana nor Mississippi have had an election FUBAR in 30 years yet your retiring governor’s win over Dino Rossi in 2004 is STILL being called into question. In fact Minnesota used her election tactics/fraud to slip Al Franken in as the 60th senator.

    Not that I mentioned election politics in any way whatsoever, so I don’t know where this left turn came from, I’ll address it anyway.

    Within a couple years after “winning” the election, even Gregoire admitted that she had, in actuality, lost the election to vote fraud coming out of King County and that Dino Rossi should rightfully be sitting in the governor’s mansion. I still hold it against her that she did not at that time resign her office immediately after initiating a felony criminal investigation into the matter. She has no ethics at all, and essentially admitted it at that point (though we all knew from her time as AG that this was the case). As it was the DNC that descended on the state of Washington with lawyers and other assorted criminal elements to steal the election after the fact, and not her own campaign committee, is her only saving grace in the whole matter.

    Franken is a clown first and foremost, and not as a comedian (he’s never been the slightest bit funny, how did he stay employed?). He’s an embarrassment to sentient life everywhere in the universe in general, and to the Senate in particular. How even that asshole Reid puts up with him is a mystery – his personal disgust at having to deal with Franken much reach levels previously only described in fiction.

    That the crew that put him in office used their experience from boosting Gregoire into the office of governor is beyond doubt (exact same people, they even bragged about it at the time), and I have yet to meet anyone in person that believes Franken legitimately won the election even here in the People’s Republic of Puget Sound. Personally, I think he should be taken out in front of the Lincoln Memorial and given a summary execution on national TV for knowingly taking office due to vote fraud.

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  17. Mississippi Yankee says:

    SO your explanations of Gregoire at the state level (with national attention) and Franken at the national level is IMO partially responsible for the poor voter turn out last Tuesday. Voter apathy has been driven by known voter fraud for so long (2004 in this case) that more folks than I dare imagine just feel “the fix is in” and don’t even care to participate anymore.

    I this case I thinking that Mississippi and Louisiana, both home to poverty, ignorance, hurricanes, and colorful people that everybody else laughs at, might make a good state. But I was tired, and who in the hell wants to get stuck with a bunch of corrupt fucks like they have in NOLA? Hell, they make movies about how fucked up that place is.

    But you characterization of MS and LA shows an elitist, know nothing attitude.

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  18. Seattle Outcast says:

    Voter apathy has been driven by known voter fraud for so long (2004 in this case) that more folks than I dare imagine just feel “the fix is in” and don’t even care to participate anymore

    I agree. I also suspect that more than a little bullshit happened in this election at both the national and local levels. I doubt we’ll ever know the extent of it, but I know one thing – Obama should have had a MUCH closer run for the money. The whole election stinks

    poverty, ignorance, hurricanes, and colorful people that everybody else laughs at

    Poverty: Both states rank high on the poverty scales. Do you even bother to look at the income rankings by state?

    Ignorance: Education levels pretty much match the income scales. See above comment – these are places where Baptists and denial of basic science are found in spades. I work with people from these places, and they assure me that it hasn’t changed since I was there last. Let’s see, the last time I was in Dixie was 2011….

    Hurricanes: Katrina ring any bells? Hell, even the un-named storms are a motherfucker to deal with, and those hit ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Wonderful thing to look out over the water at 6:00 AM in January and see waterspouts just off shore being lit up by lightning…

    Colorful people that everybody else laughs at: While I’m thinking primarily of NOLA and its exceedingly corrupt politics and police, I can readily think of multiple people I met while actually LIVING IN MISSISSIPPI that fit every derogatory “southern” stereotype currently used in pop culture fiction to let me know that, yes, rebel flags are more common than the straight teeth in that part of the country. As the racist southern prick category includes the asshole (howdy howdy all y’all) my niece married just a year ago, I’d say I’m more than passingly familiar with “the south”….

    So, kindly pull the stick out of your ass. I got used to being branded a sheep-fucker, hick farm boy, and “redneck mountain man” from merely living in the states of Montana and Nebraska, and perhaps a closet commie from living in western Washington – surely you
    can tell when the brush is wide and aimed at generalities and not you personally…

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  19. Mississippi Yankee says:

    But you characterization of MS and LA shows an elitist, know nothing attitude.

    Your comment certainly hasn’t changed MY opinion. Nice to see you throw in the Anti-theist BS too. I would have expected nothing less.

    The stick is out of my ass! Now that you’ve convinced me that I’ve wasted the last 18+ years living in “poverty, ignorance, hurricanes, and colorful people” (Katrina is the only real hurricane near me in that 18+ BTW) maybe you know where I can get a place in Seattle? Something within site of the 15 foot tall Lenin stature perhaps? I hear Olympia is quite ‘forward thinking’ also.

    I thank my lucky stars you’ve enlightened me Oh and anyone who called you [sheep-fucker, hick farm boy, and “redneck mountain man”] really doesn’t understand you, trust me.

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  20. Thrill says:

    They’re just over halfway to the goal of 25,000 signatures, if anyone is following it.

    The Obama Administration has placed its elite team of comedy writers on high alert following news that a petition requesting that Republican-dominated state Louisiana be allowed to secede from the United States will soon achieve the necessary amount of signatures to merit a response from the White House.

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  21. Kimpost says:

    :)

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  22. Seattle Outcast says:

    Now that you’ve convinced me that I’ve wasted the last 18+ years living in “poverty, ignorance, hurricanes, and colorful people” (Katrina is the only real hurricane near me in that 18+ BTW) maybe you know where I can get a place in Seattle?

    I’d stay away from downtown – too many bike Nazis, the mayor is a complete idiot environmentalist, and the “city clowncil” is so bad that some of my wife’s relatives have been elected to it. Actually, just avoid King County entirely and look toward the “wide spots” between major enclaves for reasonable housing and people that understand the need for a pickup truck in daily life.

    Something within site of the 15 foot tall Lenin stature perhaps? I hear Olympia is quite ‘forward thinking’ also.

    If you are looking to use hipster douchebag stoners for target practice, Fremont (just north of downtown) is the place to go. I’d use a pistol…

    I thank my lucky stars you’ve enlightened me Oh and anyone who called you [sheep-fucker, hick farm boy, and “redneck mountain man”] really doesn’t understand you, trust me.

    This is true – I’ve NEVER been attracted to sheep, and I haven’t worked a hobby ranch or dressed out something I’ve killed since the 90′s. Perhaps because I own enough guns to keep a national guard nervous and my version of “emergency kit” starts with a .45 and 200 rounds of jacketed HP ammo…

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  23. repmom says:

    I resisted that temptation to sign the petition. Didn’t want to help them along to becoming that big joke.

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  24. Thrill says:

    I haven’t either. Partly for the same reason you gave, repmom, and because I don’t want to end up on a White House list of pro-secessionists.

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  25. repmom says:

    and because I don’t want to end up on a White House list of pro-secessionists.

    Even better reason, for sure!

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  26. blameme says:

    Speaking of secessionists…this is where I grew up…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Republic_of_Winston

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  27. Thrill says:

    I think Sherman’s Army had a detachment of pro-Union Alabama cavalrymen in his ranks during the March to the Sea. I wonder if they came from there.

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  28. blameme says:

    Might well have. To this day, Winston county still suffers from this. I have seen it with my own two eyes.

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  29. Thrill says:

    Post updated for those out on the Web who are taking this seriously.

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  30. Thrill says:

    Texas is within 4,000 signatures (thanks again, Kimpost). Probably make the quota within 24 hrs at the rate they’re going. LA needs 10,000. I give them until Wednesday.

    Geez….

    Guys, what we NEED is a Constitutional Convention. Let’s work within the lawful and realistic here.

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  31. repmom says:

    OMG! I somehow missed Kimpost’s comment. I didn’t realize TX has a petition as well, was still concentrating on Louisiana’s. Goodness.

    I wonder how many people I know have signed it!

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  32. Thrill says:

    Might well have. To this day, Winston county still suffers from this. I have seen it with my own two eyes.

    I should have read your link all the way through. Yep. It was the same guys. 1st Alabama Cavalry.

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  33. blameme says:

    Guys, what we NEED is a Constitutional Convention. Let’s work within the lawful and realistic here.

    Nah, we need to act like the apocalypse is occurring as we speak and run around with our hair on fire.

    All of this is just diversionary bullshit that allows our GOP to act like they are doing something while actually doing absolutely nothing.

    We can’t win this battle with political stunts. We have to get down to work…real work and illustrate specifically as to why the conservative ideology is the best, long term path to individual freedom.

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  34. blameme says:

    Yep. It was the same guys. 1st Alabama Cavalry.

    This is the prevailing thought. Not everyone wants to admit it though.

    There is a country song that says, “They can smell the fire burning, and probably always will.”

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  35. Thrill says:

    Fox News just did a story on it. The floodgates are opened, I’m sure.

    Obama COULD use this to send a positive, healing message when the WH addresses it but I’m sure that we’ll see mockery of the “what kind of idiot juice are you people drinking out there?” response.

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  36. Kimpost says:

    Texas will have reached the 25.000 within the hour. It’s picked up some significant speed.

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  37. repmom says:

    Obama COULD use this to send a positive, healing message when the WH addresses it

    That would be nice. But, yeah, doubtful.

    Don’t have the TV on now, but will have to watch Shep and O’Reilly this evening.

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  38. Thrill says:

    AAAARRGGGH! Shit, shit, shit…

    http://tinyurl.com/au3n9t5

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  39. Thrill says:

    Texas will have reached the 25.000 within the hour. It’s picked up some significant speed.

    Yeah, I was way too cautious on that projection.

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  40. repmom says:

    Texas will have reached the 25.000 within the hour. It’s picked up some significant speed.

    Oh, no! Must be all those friends I just emailed the link to the petition. :)

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  41. blameme says:

    AAAARRGGGH! Shit, shit, shit…

    We get the government we deserve rings even more true with all of this BS doesn’t it?

    The republicans, if they weren’t shit eating crazy and full of BS moves like this, could win some elections.

    Instead, our “leaders” in the GOP etc love to see stunts like this – they can “feed” on the rage of the populace, seem like heroes and “True Americans” and not accomplish a damn thing.

    Genius.

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  42. Thrill says:

    What a blundering generation of morons we are. Forgive us, kids.

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  43. Thrill says:

    And Texas has the signatures, meaning that the WH has to answer within 30 days.

    This ought to be good.

    I don’t know whether to start yelling and throwing shit or weeping hysterically. This must be how Chris Christie feels all the time.

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  44. repmom says:

    You beat, me, Thrill.

    It will be interesting, for sure.

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  45. Thrill says:

    Now, I want to see what the benchmark here is. I only count 82 Responses to these various positions. It looks like all 50 states are probably going to get it done.

    Here is the response an Administration flack gave on the issue of extra-terrestrial life on Earth.

    Good answer, really.

    I am most interested in knowing who in the hell they’re going to find to answer this and what direction they’re going to come at it from.

    Tip: Keep it short, simple and respectful.

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  46. Thrill says:

    I’m going to go ahead and sign Texas’s so I can get the response sent to me as soon as it’s available. Will let you guys know.

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  47. repmom says:

    What a blundering generation of morons we are. Forgive us, kids.

    You know, when you think about it, I’m not sure that’s really a fair statement. We’re talking about some 25,000 people. That’s less than half the population of Conroe, a small town between where I live and the Woodlands.

    Not sure that’s a large enough number to judge a whole generation of folks.

    And no telling how many of the same people are signing the petitions for each states, “just for the heck of it”, to quote myself.

    And people are just fustrated, and saw a way to show it.

    I’m not convinced it’s all that horrible. Yes, there will be jokes. We conservatives should be used to that by now.

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  48. Thrill says:

    It only took two days though. Petitions on legalization of weed, ending drone strikes, and the like have been languishing. Even “Recount the Election” still hasn’t reached the benchmark yet.

    And when I condemn our idiot generation, I’m certainly not just talking about this. I’m sure this secession thing will all be forgotten in six months or so (at least, I hope so).

    We’re in the same sort of historical pattern that we were in the Revolutionary War and Civil War eras. Seriously: Can you read this and not feel a sense of alarm?

    I think we’re losing the ability to work out our problems peacefully. The post-election “peace accord” idea I talked about a couple of weeks back still appeals to me, but the responses I got make me think that secession may be the wave of the future the minute enough people realize that the federal government is too weak to prevent it.

    I hate to be such a downer, but damn.

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  49. repmom says:

    Thrill -

    Dinner is on the grill, so I will address your comments as time allows.

    First off -

    I totally understand where you’re coming from, and your pessimism/concern for the future of our youth. The direction our country is headed is scary.

    Only two days? I assume you are referring to Texas reaching the 25,000. Hey, it’s Texas. We don’t mess around. Seriously, though, talk of secession is normal in Texas, even with our Governor. Emails on the subject and how the state can survive on it’s own make the rounds on a regular basis. So the fact that a mere 25000 signatures were accomplished in a short amount of time is no surprise, especially with the help of others.

    And dinner is ready, so I will return later.

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  50. Thrill says:

    I’ll go on about my thoughts in future posts. For now, I’m just bothered and annoyed that this is such a sensation.

    I mean, the Texas one is now at 38,000. I think they’re going for 250,000.

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  51. repmom says:

    38,000

    Let me know when it reaches the population of Conroe.

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  52. Thrill says:

    And then what?

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  53. repmom says:

    The larger the number in relation to the state’s population, the more interested/concerned I will become.

    I still see it as a peaceful protest. At least they are not out rioting in the streets, burning cities. Do you think they will do that, or worse, if they don’t like the WH reply?

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  54. Mississippi Yankee says:

    What a blundering generation of morons we are. Forgive us, kids.

    I’m sure the Tories said the exact same thing during the run up to the Revolutionary War.

    I’m not necessarily saying secession is the correct course of action BUT, talk, and plausible threats of secession are the only way, in the short term, WE are going to let this pResident know he does not have a mandate.

    With the Senate about to go with the nuclear option and the complete arrogance of this WH I fear the House will not be enough power to keep this smug prick in check. (thank you Hal)

    Our options,imo, are to roll over or push back because these people HAVE an agenda. Unless you, me and the close to 50% of the people who didn’t vote for this man let him know he serves at the “will and pleasure” of all Americans you might as well just assume the position.

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  55. Thrill says:

    But threatening to rip the country apart isn’t pushing back, MY. I’m going to keep pounding this: Constitutional Convention. I say remake it, don’t break it.

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  56. Thrill says:

    And the Texas petition’s signatures are now higher than the population of Conroe, repmom.

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  57. Kimpost says:

    Louisiana has past 25.000 too. Looks like many if not all of them will…

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  58. Thrill says:

    I’m sure that multiple people are taking the time to hit all of them, Kimpost. That’s even MORE pointless, since the WH is just going to answer all of them at once.

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  59. repmom says:

    And the Texas petition’s signatures are now higher than the population of Conroe, repmom.

    Yep. I just saw that.

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  60. repmom says:

    Missouri has two petitions. They would be at 20,000 if the two were combined.

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  61. Thrill says:

    It may or may not matter.

    How will the White House handle duplicate petitions on the same topic?

    During the petition creation process, the system will identify potentially similar petitions for the petition creator and encourage the petition creator to sign an existing petition rather than create a new one. Creating duplicate petitions in the system decreases the likelihood that a petition will receive a response from the White House. While the White House will not combine similar petitions, one response may be applied to multiple petitions on the same topic.

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  62. repmom says:

    The post-election “peace accord” idea I talked about a couple of weeks back still appeals to me, but the responses I got make me think that secession may be the wave of the future the minute enough people realize that the federal government is too weak to prevent it.

    I just reread that post and the comments to it. Most responses came from the direction of a Romney win. Perhaps a similar new post, and new discussion, is in order.

    I’ll go on about my thoughts in future posts.

    I assume you’re working on something?

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  63. Seattle Outcast says:

    I prefer Key West as my “independent republic” – the weather is nicer and they have a cute flag…

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  64. Thrill says:

    I assume you’re working on something?

    Always, baby!

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  65. repmom says:

    It looks like more and more petitions keep sprouting, several states with 2 or more. It has become a game, everyone wanting to jump on the wagon, be part of the fun.

    I concede. It is a circus, and we are a country of clowns. :(

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  66. Thrill says:

    Liberals are getting in on it too. They’re delighted by this. It’s humiliating, really.

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  67. Thrill says:

    Oh, yeah. It’s getting crazier.

    Time to shut down this petition thing for a bit, I think. It’s getting juvenile.

    A White House petition gathering force calls for citizenship to be stripped and exile for anyone who signs a petition in favor of a state’s secession.

    “Mr. President, please sign an executive order such that each American citizen who signed a petition from any state to secede from the USA shall have their citizenship stripped and be peacefully deported,” the full petition reads.

    I might as well just glue my hand to my face at this point. Permafacepalm.

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  68. repmom says:

    Yes, I saw that petition this morning. Started to comment on it, but didn’t. There’s another one similar to it.

    It is juvenile. Totally out of control.

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  69.   
  70. repmom says:

    Ok, thrill, I’m going to start one that will send you totally over the edge –

    A petition to deport everyone who signs the petition to deport everyone who signs a petition to withdraw their state from the United States of America.

    (Not really. Just getting silly. Is it too early for wine?)

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  71. Thrill says:

    Nah, drink up. I’m glad that Barack and Michelle are prouder of America than they’ve ever been, at least.

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  72. repmom says:

    Nah, drink up. I’m glad that Barack and Michelle are prouder of America than they’ve ever been, at least.

    Okay. That makes me gag. And want to drink. Guess I’ll do the healthy thing, and go for a long jog.

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  73. Thrill says:

    This is the best one yet.

    Make Duncan Trussell the Emperor Of Planet Earth
    We petition the Obama administration to construct an iron throne made of meteorites and incinerated pope penises upon which the new emperor of planet earth Duncan Trussell can reign supreme.

    Attached to the throne should be a surgical straw connected to an endless quantity of fresh fetal stem cells upon which our Lord may suckle as the people of the world petition him for mercy or offer him their children and livestock.

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  74. Miguelito says:

    Ha ha ha.

    Clearly these petitions are all well thought out and not just thrown up by people not really thinking ahead much.

    All of this is just diversionary bullshit that allows our GOP to act like they are doing something while actually doing absolutely nothing.

    Why do you assume this is the GOP doing this? You realize that anyone can create an account there and create a new petition, right?

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  75. repmom says:

    The Austin petition is funny! Might have to sign that one. They would still be surrounded by narrow-minded hicks. Wouldn’t that make them nervous?

    Just so Dallas stays with us, I’m good.

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  76. Thrill says:

    Can we petition that Mexico get El Paso (to the extent they don’t already have it)?

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  77. repmom says:

    Hey, careful there. I was born and raised in El Paso, and still have relatives living there. They would probably vote no on that one.

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  78. blameme says:

    Why do you assume this is the GOP doing this? You realize that anyone can create an account there and create a new petition, right?

    I do – and I don’t think the “party” so much is behind this – but I think they are happy about it. It allows them to, like I said, feed on the rage of the people and not do a damn thing about it.

    These initial secessions are centered around being pissed that Obama won. I understand that, I am pissed too. But doing these stupid secession petitions is like children throwing tantrums – we won’t win anything doing this – we will win when we have true small government conservatives clearly articulating why conservatism works for all.

    All of this is just a wasteful distraction. IMHO of course.

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  79. Thrill says:

    Tantrums. Excellent word. I just built a lunatic screed of a post around that.

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  80. Mississippi Yankee says:

    But threatening to rip the country apart isn’t pushing back, MY. I’m going to keep pounding this: Constitutional Convention. I say remake it, don’t break it.

    YOU may call all of this petition business foolishness but it has YOU writing about it, WE are commenting about it. And even OUR furinoors here are discussing it. WE are at 78 on the comment page and this is just one of many blogs. And common sense tells me that the THEMs are beginning to notice. And are being forced to respond.

    If you look at these secession petitions as the starting point in a negotiation, an opening bid if you please, it gives US the where- with-all to bargain towards a Constitutional Convention in the bigger picture.

    But IF these people, OUR people, are brow-beaten and told to “go along to get along” with out ever shooting one across THEIR bow then what’s the point of even trying to continue.

    One man’s Vichy moment is another man’s WOLVERINES moment.

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  81. Thrill says:

    In my defense, I posted this because I thought it was silly. We post silly things all the time around here. What I didn’t expect was that anybody was going to take it seriously and that it was going to be so good for the blog’s traffic.

    Honestly, I hate this post at this point.

    Now, THEY are not going to be forced to respond. They’ll do it under their own rules. I expect the written response to be written by some Administration flunky and bland while the President says something divisive and yet comical when he gets asked about it on Letterman.

    Let’s just cut this clownsession business and focus on doing some good.

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  82. Mississippi Yankee says:

    Well I’ve figured out the “V” what does the “O” stand for?

    Car salesmen must love you too.

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  83. repmom says:

    Greta is talking about the petitions at this moment.

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  84. Thrill says:

    Governor Perry…..or should I say “Governor Petain?”…..says no way on seceding.

    But the crazy train can’t stop now. I’m looking forward to the Admin response.

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  85. repmom says:

    They are saying same as I have been saying. Frustrated people expressing that frustration.

    Of course, it’s Fox. Others won’t be so kind.

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  86. repmom says:

    The petitions got out of control, to the point that I started making jokes. Can’t blame those who honestly wanted to express their frustration with this administration and the direction of the country, however, and saw the petitions as a way to do so.

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  87. Thrill says:

    I think what bugs me about it (besides the sheer impotence of a bunch of rage-quitters) is that people are lazily and pseudonymously asking the Administration (that they hate) to please let them secede and then portraying it like it’s a gutsy, defiant act of protest. It’s lame.

    Rebels don’t ask permission from tyrants.

    Start bombarding your state legislators with demands to pass ordinances of secession. Do it right.

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  88. repmom says:

    Isn’t that the problem with conservatives? Wasn’t that the complaint about Romney? Too nice. Too polite? No rioting in the streets?

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  89. Thrill says:

    I liked Romney as a candidate for being nice. I approved of the idea of another calm, likable but boring guy in the WH.

    Being nice isn’t the problem. It’s that we talk big and high-minded, but aren’t serious. Look at the thread on my latest post. I get lectured about how we failed the Constitution and laughed at for proposing that we make a bold, grand change to rein the government in.

    It’s laudable to be nice, but I just want to see some real heart and soul behind the rhetoric.

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