Now That We Know What He Isn’t

As a public service, when conspiracy theories reach critical mass we try to quash them quick, no fringe elements residing here. And given the presidents dodgyincomplete history, certain factions have explained this in supernatural terms or at the very least, a Jim Jones sex appeal/Austin Powers’ mojo to facilitate the ruse. Whatever machinations are afoot, we know he is NOT the Anti-Christ:

Some other obvious reasons;

People like Andrew Sullivan would not have lost all hope so easily.
He would have a better golf game.
He could will the Muslims to like us.
He would not have lost the first debate.
He would have used a Jedi mind trick to secure the 2016 Olympics for Chicago.
He would gladly produce all college transcripts which would show he actually attended classes.
He could beat the 72 virgin payoff and have all those guys working for him.

As with any slippery character, eliminating what he is not is often easier then finding out what he is. Whatever that is, he works at it real hard every day, that is what Michelle tells us.

Comments are closed.

  1. ilovecress

    I guess if Obama isn’t really in charge, we can stop worrying about his college transcripts, his ‘palling around with terrorists’, his incomplete history, his hatred of America and the fact he ate a dog.

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  2. CM

    I guess if Obama isn’t really in charge, we can stop worrying about his college transcripts, his ‘palling around with terrorists’, his incomplete history, his hatred of America and the fact he ate a dog.

    Yeah, kinda reminds me of how Bush was both a retard and some sort of evil genius.

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  3. Xetrov

    Yeah, kinda reminds me of how Bush was both a retard and some sort of evil genius.

    He is the worst kind of evil genius – a retarded evil genius.

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  4. Seattle Outcast

    Yeah, kinda reminds me of how Bush was both a retard and some sort of evil genius.

    I do wish people would stay on a theme when demonizing someone. This being an excellent example – is he a bumbling moron, or a fighter pilot with an all Ivy League education with a better GPA than Gore (who was flunking out until he switched majors)?

    The “Chimpy McFlightsuit” characterization was a complete contradiction all in itself, and you’d think that the supposedly educated detractors of Bush that used it with such abandon would have realized that all they were doing was painting themselves with the brush of being idiots.

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  5. ilovecress

    S-O … I totally agree. Those people who demonised Bush for being stupid, and then went on to say he was an evil genius who was ruining America are idiots.

    It would be kind of like if someone was demonising Obama for trying to destroy America with his ‘un-american values’ and his ‘secret muslim upbringing’.

    And then that same person was also demonising Obama for being lazy and not really in charge.

    You’d think that those people would realise the contradiction and that they’re painting themselves with the idiot brush.

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