Kluwe vs. Burns

Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo recently spoke out in favor of gay marriage (it was legalized in Maryland by O’Malley but will be up for a referendum in November; it is very likely to pass referendum). Last week, delegate Emmett C. Burns sent a nasty letter to the Ravens on official stationary expressed how appalled he was that a Ravens player would dare support gay marriage and urging the Ravens to “inhibit such expressions from your employee and that he be ordered to cease and desist such injurious actions”.

If you thought the mayors were out of line to threaten Chick-Fil-A over their expression, you should think this is out of line too. I would write a retort but I don’t think I can match RavensVikings punter Chris Kluwe:

As I suspect you have not read the Constitution, I would like to remind you that the very first, the VERY FIRST Amendment in this founding document deals with the freedom of speech, particularly the abridgment of said freedom. By using your position as an elected official (when referring to your constituents so as to implicitly threaten the Ravens organization) to state that the Ravens should “inhibit such expressions from your employees,” more specifically Brendon Ayanbadejo, not only are you clearly violating the First Amendment, you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain. What on earth would possess you to be so mind-boggingly stupid? It baffles me that a man such as yourself, a man who relies on that same First Amendment to pursue your own religious studies without fear of persecution from the state, could somehow justify stifling another person’s right to speech. To call that hypocritical would be to do a disservice to the word. Mindfucking obscenely hypocritical starts to approach it a little bit.

The rest of the letter is in that vein and includes several expressions that I have never heard before but will certainly steal in the future. Obviously, your opinion of the letter will vary depending on where you stand on the same sex marriage issue. But even absent that, pretentious politicians deserve this kind of public response.

To be fair, Burns isn’t actually threatening the Ravens right now. And the Ravens would be in a better position to ignore this sort of shit if they did not play in a taxpayer-subsidized stadium. But I do think they should respond to Burns’ letter the way they once did when they were in Cleveland.

Oh, and the NFL season kicks off tomorrow, so now is as good a time as any to say, Go Packers!

Comments are closed.

  1. Seattle Outcast

    “hot dong action” and “lustful cockmonster” are most certainly going into my vocabulary – too good to not steal.

    On the serious side, I applaud this – it is a humorous, yet extremely insulting, response to a moronic/bullying letter written by a complete asshole that needed to have his face rubbed in dog shit in the public arena.

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  2. salinger

    And folks are always ragging on the kickers. Looks like all that time on the sideline has allowed this young man some time for book learnin’.

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  3. Section8

    I could understand if this guy said fuck the Ravens just for general purposes. I’d agree, except for when they beat Pittsburgh who should be despised even more (except for Polamalu who is nothing short of an awesome athlete). Anyhow, as far as writing a letter telling players they can’t comment on a topic such as this is nothing less than outrageous.

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  4. Seattle Outcast

    I wonder if some people are operating under the assumption that football players are heterosexual by default. After all, everyone knows that gays are all flaming, limp-wristed little weaklings that smell faintly of vaseline and and herbal incense and could never be a massive, hulking, 350 pound NFL star…

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  5. Argive

    Ravens punter Chris Kluwe

    Minor correction: Kluwe is on the Vikings, not the Ravens. Frankly I think that makes what he did even more awesome. Kluwe didn’t need to stick up for Ayanbadejo in the same way that a teammate would, but he did it because it was the right thing to do.

    I wonder if some people are operating under the assumption that football players are heterosexual by default. After all, everyone knows that gays are all flaming, limp-wristed little weaklings that smell faintly of vaseline and and herbal incense and could never be a massive, hulking, 350 pound NFL star…

    Kluwe did a live chat with Deadspin a while ago in which he said that if a player came out, it might be tough given that there’s still a very macho culture in most NFL locker rooms, but in the end his team would support him. The fans, maybe not so much.

    Also: “narcissistic fromunda stain” is all sorts of excellent.

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  6. Mississippi Yankee

    Although I believe Maryland to be to the left of California (and with less Mormons to blame) the referendum vote in November will be most interesting. Lrt’s see how CM’s poll data holds up.
    (I predict Yea by razor thin margin)

    As for Delegate Burns, why haven’t impeachment papers already been filled in Maryland?

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  7. Tripper

    Kluwe has been an awesome character for many years, and this is just one more reason why I love him.
    All I have to add is that lost in all this business is the fact he is one of the best, if not the best punter in the NFL. Did an excellent job yesterday and is mentoring our rookie place kicker fantastically well.

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