This Is Just…….Gross

Stuff like this should not surprise me, guys will rut with pretty much anything with a hole attached, but can you see yourself under any circumstances chasing after this?

A naked 71-year-old woman and her equally clothes-free male companion, 54, were arrested last month for indecent exposure after a Michigan cop found them trysting in the back seat of a Buick Regal that was rocking gently and had its windows steamed over, according to a police report.

When the officer opened the vehicle’s rear door and asked the nude couple what they were doing, Tim Adams offered a concise answer. “I’m fucking this chick,” he said

Before you give this guy any kind of free pass, consider that this was not a 2:30 am banging the last female in the bar romp. The article places this unforgivable deed in a restaurant parking lot, in full view of a 10 year old boy, which indicates hours where the restaurant would still be open.

The article further mentions that the old bag had a BAC of .17, how drunk do you think Adams was? How drunk would you have to be to go any where near that woman? No doubt once Adams sobered up and saw his mug shot in the papers, he high tailed it to the nearest recruitment office for the French Foreign Legion, never being able to show his face in this country ever again.

I learned early in life that although one or two drinks makes me amorous, anything over that and I’m good for nothing, so I have no “coyote ugly” stories. The closest thing I have to a “sex you regretted later” story is probably make up sex with a girl friend that I was still pissed at, where afterwards she thought everything was cool but I knew different.

So, here is your chance, you got any regrettable sex stories to regale the group with?

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  1. Seattle Outcast

    Once told a chick straight up that it was going to take a bottle of vodka before I got drunk enough to fuck her. She got the bottle, I got plastered, and then I nailed her.

    Should have held out for two bottles…

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  2. AlexInCT

    Drink enough alcohol, and some guys will find an old dude with a wig good enough to romp with. It’s why I never drank like a mad man: you wake up in the morning and regret what’s laying next to you. Had several friends that paid dearly for that. Then again, judge not what others find attractive or sexual, I say.

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  3. Seattle Outcast

    Then again, judge not what others find attractive or sexual, I say.

    OK, go watch some Japanese porn and come back and say that….

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  4. AlexInCT

    I knew a guy that was so horny he would fuck a pile of rock on the off chance there was a snake in it… What’s your point? :)

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  5. Seattle Outcast

    Horny is one thing, perverse to the point of “maybe we should kill him just be safe” is something else entirely…

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  6. JimK

    *I once accidentally fucked a rhesus monkey in the back of a VW camper van at the first Lollapalooza festival during the Siouxsie and the Banshees set. With the door open. Anal. No condom. I think his name was Steve.

    (* that never happened**)

    (** no seriously, I swear it never happened)

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  7. Mississippi Yankee

    Hey chill guys, at least she had all of her teeth. That’s a big plus around these parts… even for a woman half her age.

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  8. HARLEY

    I was in Popular Bluff, Missouri at some kind of festival, when i saw this really hot hot chick. Now mind ya, that popular bluff is in the ozarks, and every hillbilly in the area came out of the woods for this. I was walking down the crowded street awed that there were people far more hick, than i was, when i saw her. long blonde pigtailed hair, bibs rocking body great rack, oh yeah and when she smiled, 1 fucking tooth in her head, that wasnt rotted out. I lost my wood real quick, no shit guys, fucking Elly May, for real.

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