Fuck the Both of Yous

This really captures how I feel:

Over the course of history, Congress and the White House have seen highs and lows. Times that can be remembered with pride and other times when politicians failed to meet the American people’s expectations. Right now, we are at a very, very low point—the worst I’ve seen since I moved to Washington in September 1972. Never in my memory have both parties and both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue appeared as dysfunctional as they do today. The stakes are so high and the performance is so utterly disappointing. The goals of most of the debt-ceiling proposals being debated are so modest that victory would really be a defeat in terms of what needs to be done.

My wife told me recently about a Facebook post by an acquaintance that held Congress up to ridicule. Apparently, the sentiment was enthusiastically endorsed by people who spanned her entire network of friends—from the most liberal to the most conservative. My wife couldn’t recall anything else that had been so universally embraced by such a politically diverse group of people.

I’m sympathetic to the points made by Krauthammer and Carney that we are dealing with fundamental philosophical disagreements. “Acting like adults” is not going to erase these serious differences of opinion. However, fundamental political difference is not new. Reagan’s vision for America was quite radical in its day; we still got budgets passed.

No, this is political. Republicans don’t want to give Obama any kind of “victory”. And Democrats want to kneecap the only competent Speaker the GOP has had since Early Gingrich. Why else would they not give Boehner any votes on the current bill, even though it’s similar to the Reid bill that they will vote for? (As McArdle said on Twitter: If Harry Reid is the only thing standing between us and disaster, it’s time to break out the asbestos underwear.)

The problem is especially glaring when the long-term solution is obvious and has been for a long time. As this thing drags on, the wisdom of the Simpson-Bowles proposal — with tax reform, retirement age hikes and defense cuts — becomes clearer. It’s at least the basis of what a reasonable compromise between the competing political philosophies. But right now we have two parties who seem to be more interested in placating their own internal sects than working out a deal. Their big worry is being primaried by the Tea Party (if they’re Republicans) or everyone else (if they’re Democrats). But by trying not to piss off anyone, they’re only succeeding in pissing off everyone. If we have a financial crisis, they’re going to get primaried anyway. The choice is no longer between winning re-election and not winning. It’s between going down while accomplishing something or going down while accomplishing nothing. The Democrats got hammered in the last election; but that didn’t unpass Obamacare. Who cares if the GOP loses in 2012 if they’ve made huge inroads on our debt problem? I would gladly take four more years of Obama if it got us something like Simpson-Bowles.

The thing is that … hang on … I’m preaching to the choir. Let me address Congress directly for a moment. Later, I’ll put up a post on normal-people stuff.

Dear Gasbags:

We don’t like politics. I know it obsesses your every waking moment. You go to bed dreaming of political victory and wake up thinking of humiliating your enemies. But most of us don’t care that much. I’m a political junkie and even I don’t care that much. Here is a short list of the thing that have occupied more of my brain space than your petty games just this morning: my daughter, Disney princesses, astrophysics, booking plane flights, the Braves-Pirates series, the NFL lockout, how good Harry Potter 7B was, how awful the Battleship trailer looks, what I’m going to do on vacation, what I thought about The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, what I thought about the Comedy of Errors, where I should have lunch, whether we can make Sal 11000 Beta’s gymnastics class, how I’m going to get tickets to a minor league baseball game and how much moss I can scrape off a picnic table with an empty Coke can.

See? We do a lot out here. We work, we play, we spend time with our friends and families. Washington, to most of us, is an occasional annoyance. We tolerate your stupid childish games because it serves a purpose. Government helps create the space in which we can enjoy the things we do care about. And politics keeps people like yourselves out of important jobs where you might be able to cause real problems. But we don’t care about your little internal snits and quarrels and re-election prospects any more than we care about inter-office gossip at the cable company. You’re a utility, not family.

You’ve been trying very hard to get our attention lately. From regulating our jobs to death (20% of jobs now need government permission) to making our taxes ever more complicated to sending the stock market and then the housing market on a roller coaster. We’re paying attention, sort of. But really, we mostly want it to just go away.

However, you’re getting close to end of our patience. If you don’t figure out a solution to this; if you run headlong into the most preventable financial crisis in history, you’ve had it. Personally, I will wash my hands of both of yous. I will vote for fucking Ralph Nader before I vote for either of you. Hell, I might vote Mahmoud Ahmadinejad before I give the keys back to your competing fleets of clown cars.

The deficit was not invented when Barack Obama became President. Nor was it something that was sprung by surprise on him by the Republicans. Of all the people in Washington, there may be a handful that have no blame in what’s happened. You don’t really need to waste all this time and effort blaming each other. We’ll happily blame both of you.

The framework for a solution was laid out before you a year ago. Yes, if you support something along the lines of Simpson-Bowles, your base will erupt and you might get unelected. But that’s going to happen anyway. We didn’t elect you to get re-elected. We elected you to make hard and possibly unpopular choices that may piss us off, may turn us against you but are necessary for the country to function. We elected you to fall on your swords, not to position yourselves for 2012. This is bigger than whether or not Barack Obama gets re-elected next year.

If we have to pay more taxes, we will. We’ll do it rather than let our children pay those taxes with interest. If we have to wait a couple more years to retire, we will. We’ll do it rather than bankrupt our nation. If we have a few less tanks to keep those Canadian hordes at bay … well, we’ve all got guns. We’ll be fine. My home state of Pennyslvania fielded one of the world’s largest makeshift armies last year and won a decisive victory over several hundred thousand deer.

Just fucking do it. If you have to temporarily extend the debt ceiling to work out the details, fine. We’ll manage. But quit playing these bullshit political games because we don’t fucking care about your petty little rivalries and ambitions and Fox News/MSNBC talking points. Quit kicking the can down the road. Turn off the cameras, log off of Twitter and do it. You don’t need another commission — you had a great commission last year and have so far ignored it. Start with that framework and build from there.

Because we would really like to go back to ignoring you.

Comments are closed.

  1. richtaylor365

    It’s between going down while accomplishing something or going down while accomplishing nothing.

    Accomplishing anything is secondary, an ancillary by product for the ultimate victor. Both parties know that this is a death match, a literal fight for survival. The Democrats (president, Senate and LSM) will not vote for anything put forward by a Republican, they can’t, no matter how well written or how economically it solves the problem, they would cede all authority (and street cred) to the GOP and render themselves irrelevant for 2012. Ditto with the GOP, this is why they keep wasting time and votes on bills they know won’t pass muster with the Senate and the president, they are still the minority and can’t influence legislation, so they put worth dead on arrival proposals solely for appearances sake, to show the folks that they could solve the problem if only they had power. So, since either can not support anything written by the other party, this is what results.

    The weaker has to submit to the stronger so in the end the GOP must relent, they know that, but they still have to get their message out.

    I feel the same way in that they are all worthy of derision and scorn, but sadly, they are not the least bit concerned about their image, where are we going to go? This is all one big presentation for the independents, who appears weak and who strong, who appears to have the best answers and who does not, there will be a winner and a loser in this debate, but the ultimate losers are the people, we get pounded in stereo.

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