Creepy Old Men

The institute of marriage sure has been put through the wringer of late, from men marrying pillows, dolls (not even Nazi one’s), and with the advent of same sex marriage, the evolution of the concept is never ending. The “marriage of convenience” has been around forever, both party’s getting something beneficial out of the arrangement, usually the man gets the trophy wife/hot sex/country club status and the woman gets 37 charge cards and all the money she can wallow in, good deal for both. Other marriages of convenience rely on the synergistic effect, two elements boring and sedate by themselves, but mixed together, a more appealing compilation. And in Hollywood, this works by taking 2 dead end careers and mixing a little scandal into the mix with the hopes of the big reality show pay off, meet the latest incantation of “The Osbornes”:

Where to start?

Many facets of this story is just frickin’ hilarious:

The fact that she was (is) a committed Christian, sorry honey but Christians don’t dress like tramps.
That the parents were not pimping her out, of course they were. There is only two possible explanations, either mom and dad are looking for the big money score, or the girl was so obnoxious and disagreeable (with zero job prospects) that marrying her off was the only way to get her out of the house.
That both his mom and agent was disgusted with him that they cut off all contact. I looked at his IMDB page, he is no heavy weight, sure, but it appears that he is still a working actor, not a has been.

The poor girl definitely needs some help with her fledgling career, check out her video. What did she do to that poor dog?

But here is the biggest piece of evidence for me that this whole thing is a sham. I’m sure some here besides me has dated younger girls, you guys remember what that was like? Back when I was still working in Los Angeles, in between relationships I met this hostess that worked at Sonny Bono’s restaurant in West Hollywood. I was 33/34 and she was 21. It became obvious from the very beginning that the generational gap was going to be difficult to brooch, not only from things like taste in music, books and movies, but attitudes about life in general. We would go clubbing and she would order kid’s drinks, something I could not abide. You cannot spend all your time in bed, eventually you have to talk and that proved too hard to get past.

Just in watching that short video, her giggles, her mannerisms (that mangy mutt)I wouldn’t last one week. It is inconceivable to me that this is love, from either side.

Good luck to both of them in their business ventures, but I don’t give them six months. And if the reality show concept does not pan out, maybe a sex tape ala Tanya Harding/Pam Anderson, is in the offing. More stuff off the internet to pirate.

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  1. Seattle Outcast

    And they say prostitution is illegal….

    All you have to do is dress it up a bit and call it something else.

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  2. InsipiD

    That girl looks 36 and she’s really obnoxious. He’s slimy. They’re a perfect couple for the next 6 months or so.

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  3. CM

    I looked at his IMDB page, he is no heavy weight, sure, but it appears that he is still a working actor, not a has been.

    Anyone involved in Lost should automatically be taken out the back and shot. And then dismembered.

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