Where Does He Keep The Bazooka?

Who doesn’t like ninjas? Not only are they stealthy and quiet, they can kick your ass 6 ways from Sunday, but they get to wear black pj’s with slippers all the time. And today’s ninja gets to carry some pretty assume weapons as well:

I like that tornado switch but I would have been more impressed if there was a side compartment to store a pastrami on rye with a diet peach Snapple. Nice array of ammunition (thousand round clip, guy must be a bad shot), just don’t sit on your shurikens. I wonder what David Carradine would think of this. I still prefer the old standby, an Hattori Hanzo sword, but this looks fun to.

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  1. Seattle Outcast

    Ninja, ninja, ninja…

    As a martial arts instructor the word “ninja” fucking annoys me to no end – as we understand the term (as Hollywood has portrayed them), ninja did not exist. No black outfits, no special gear, no secret societies, no swords that looked different from others, no special martial arts training – it’s all fucking made up. Ninja are the Japanese equivalent of Batman…

    Those that claim to have received “ninja training” are either 1) insane 2) liars 3) suckers. I’ve known people that trained in “ninpo” – it isn’t any different than any other Chinese/Japanese/Korean martial arts system. They didn’t do any better at the tournaments than people from any other school, so I’d say you can save yourself a shitload of money and condescending snickers from your friends by going to the local Shotokan or Kenpo dojo and getting instruction from isn’t the local equivalent of Ashida Kim…

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  2. Kimpost

    Are there people who actually believe in the Hollywood myth about ninjas and/or martial arts? I mean, I’m sure some kids might believe, but adults? Ho many are they? 1 in 10.000? I think it’s mostly fun. :)

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  3. Seattle Outcast

    You run into them more often than you’d think. I mean, they sell “ninja swords” by the zillion (an invention of Hollywood), and they made enough shit movies to keep the imaginations of idiots fired up for years – toss in the fact that most people know even less about Japanese culture and history than I do, and you end up with a good percentage of adults that believe the whole Hollywood ninja thing to one extent or another.

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  4. Seattle Outcast

    It’s a couple steps above brawling in my opinion. They do a good job of beating the snot out of each other, but I’d rather watch boxing for that – it allows someone to train on that portion of fighting to a very high degree of skill. MMA too frequently results in not doing any of it much past the “competent” level.

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  5. loserlame

    Aye, they kinda remind me of those playground fights, or the after-school spectacles in the – woooooo! – cemetery across the street from my old alma mater. I do wish I’d known a few of those devastating holds back when…

    Its a bit more exciting than what “real” fights usually look like, without with a teacher coming around every few minutes to break it up The pain involved is so far greater than I ever felt boxing.

    Watching Lee and Norris today I get distracted by Chuck’s odd pelt and all minor the imperfections Hollywood edits out.

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