Is your sex life deviant?

Whatever freaky shit you’re into online? You ain’t alone, brothers and sisters. Turns out damn near everybody is a freak. Read the whole article, it’s interesting, but here’s a bit I thought was particularly enlightening:

When this information is broken apart further, however, human sexual desire becomes as confounding as ever. For example: Men fantasize about group sex far more than women and picture more men than women in the action. Straight men prefer to watch amateur porn online, and the authors theorize it’s because of perceived authenticity — a fake orgasm, it turns out, may be as disappointing as one in real life. One of the most popular and diverse areas of interest in sexuality is domination and submission, with straight women and gay men most interested in the latter role. Gay men enjoy straight porn in large numbers.

I say enlightening, but…not to me. That is precisely the way I would expect it to go. As for the really freaky stuff?

America’s pre-eminent evolutionary psychologist, Donald Symons, a pioneer in the field of human sexuality, isn’t so sure. While he admires the scope of Ogas and Gaddam’s research, he’s not convinced a causal line can be drawn from hard data to human desire — that, for example, the popularity of sites devoted to granny porn and transsexuals is a sign that straight men somehow find these images erotic.

“One of the first things I asked Ogi about was curiosity versus arousal,” says Symons. “Ogi is convinced that when people are searching for things, it’s primarily for sexual arousal. I’m not so sure about that. If there was a porn star with three breasts — I bet there would be a zillion hits. Would that be a sign men were suddenly aroused by that? I think not.”

Gotta agree with Symons here. This reminds me of a story. Buncha years ago, when it wasn’t so frigging easy to access literally any kind of porn your mind could imagine, my phone rang. “Jim, I need the freakiest most disgusting porn you can find online right now.” I used to be a human Google for certain people, and like Google, BANG, I gave instant results. I sent her to DefVac and the old, original StileProject. Why did I have that stuff at the ready? Well, first of all I was friends with Lee. If it was offensive or sexual, or better if it combined the two, one of us would make sure to have that link on tap. It’s just how we rolled. Secondly, people expected us to know, so we knew.

One must work to meet expectations, mustn’t one?

Anyway, you aren’t a freak. You’re just human. So go rub one out to whatever disgusting, filthy, perverted shit you can find online, you goddamned grotesque monstrosity.

Comments are closed.

  1. AlexInCT

    I never got why so many people were so obssessed with what other people did in bed. Seriously, unless someone is humping children, I could give a rats ass what kind of deviancy they engage in. So what if they like donkey pr0n? Are you afraid to admit you like it too?

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  2. Seattle Outcast

    Most people are a lot more vanilla than they think they are.

    You realize this when you meet someone that truly is into some really weird fucking shit and you suddenly realize that your personal turn-on is nothing in comparison…

    Then you decided that the weirdos should be left to each other, before you get hurt…

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  3. Seattle Outcast

    OK – what’s the weirdest thing anyone ever asked you to do in the name of sex, or where did you decide that you weren’t crossing that line?

    For me it was when a woman asked me to choke her while we were doing it, and I decided that I needed to leave soon.

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  4. AlexInCT

    Funny that SO cause I have a similar story. This gorgeous readhead I was dating, during our first erm, intitmate session, asked me to choke and slap her around. I thought she was kidding and played along until she started yelling at me, calling me a fag and demanding I get real rough, cause she wasn’t enjoying it all. Like you, I gathered up my stuff and left. Didn’t like the whole deal, and certainly was worried this would end up with me explaining to cops why she was hurt while she accused me of rape, so I figured I was better off not playing along. Maybe I was being paranoid and all that, but I am too often bothered by this thing called consequences to often do stuff others thing is fun to do.

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  5. Seattle Outcast

    Let’s just say that my kink(s) lie elsewhere than helping some deranged bitch live out her suicide fantasy.

    The last thing I need is to be explaining to the cops “you don’t understand, she asked me to do that” because there’s a dead chick in my bed with her throat crushed.

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  6. Nexus

    I’ve had a couple girls want me to turn them over my knee while they called me daddy…
    I don’t know how high that ranks on the kink meter but I thought it was pretty hot.

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  7. Hal_10000

    What’s hilarious is that the Mrs. Grundy’s of the world have been in a century long retreat on this. From Kinsey on down, they have perpetually taken moral stands only to see the ground crumble underneath them. From “decent people don’t masturbate” to “decent people don’t watch porn” to “decent people don’ tolerate gays”, they’ve perpetually found that decent people *don’t* act like they think decent people do.

    Pretty soon they’re going to be down to “decent people don’ perform oral on three partners while hanging from the ceiling while their spouse cheers them on. Or at least, they don’t do it while watching hee-Haw.”

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  8. Seattle Outcast

    On a kink meter scale of 1 – 10, it ranks about a 3. Make them wear a Catholic school girl uniform to get it to a 4.

    As for hotness, well, it seems to work for most girls that went to Catholic school…

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  9. Seattle Outcast

    Hell, wehn I was a kid a “good girl” would barely let you feel her up, pubic hair in Playboy was revolutionary, and blowjobs were something that only nasty sluts or French women did. “Deep Throat” came out and five years later getting a blowjob was pretty standard – even for a high school kid.

    Ten years later and anal was going through the same revolution. Personally, when I saw my first A2M video I was pretty grossed out – what the hell are these people thinking? I’m not sure what’s next – I mean, now that pierced, shaved, anal and oral are all mainstream, even for women in their 50’s, what’s left that the average person will engage in?

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  10. HARLEY

    im not gonna get into some of the weird shit i done, im a knuckle dragging redneck so it goes with the territory.
    but hell, i thought i had weird fetishes…
    you know
    hot chick in Leia Slave girl outfit…
    but hell… im glad to know im not that bad compared to others.
    but there are people that are worse than me, particalry those that are fan is this uh, chick, buck angel. NFSFW.

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  11. Nexus

    One of the two wore the schoolgirl outfit….
    Plaid skirt…button up white shirt…hair in pigtails…
    I don’t know if she ever went to Catholic School though

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  12. JimK *

    I’m getting a bit of my blog mojo back it seems. Good to be back. I even almost enjoyed the whole tech part of rebuilding.

    Almost. :)

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  13. JimK *

    One of the most favorite things Lee ever said to me…

    “Dude, let me tell you. This one time, I was shitfaced fucking drunk in the Navy…”
    “This ONE time?”
    “Yeah, you know what? I think most of my stories start with “This one time, I was shitfaced fucking drunk in the Navy…” or “This one time, I was shitfaced drunk and woke up in a dumpster.”
    “In the Navy?”
    “Fuck yeah. That happened once. Seriously. This one time…”

    That fucking guy. :)

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  14. loserlame

    I had easy access to my German parents’ porn mags from age 12 (in 1976), just as I began pubescing, and moved to (rumored) sexually enlightened, non-prude Europe soon thereafter.
    I was lucky to have escaped prude America, I was earnestly told by local teens, as I learned about and engaged in casual sex with girls (all whom (yuck) smoked if they weren’t (ick) prude).
    After I returned to the US from overseas some 15 years later, I concluded that sex is pretty much the same everywhere; Euro girls don’t smoke any more (at sex) than Yanks, many Africans are clitorized by prude parents – the list goes on.
    Web porn was still a bit hard to come by in the 90s, via unreliable AOL dialup, and much more expensive. Today, it appears even American pre-teens with a little savvy can access it.
    Whats mildly interesting to me is how prude and unenlightened folks still are. If you dare comment negatively on a youtube video, chances are male fans will start waving virtual penises around. Its mostly “(sic) Your a fag suck dick”
    The manliest corpse metal aficionados worldwide think and talk about nothing but penis and anus as they adore males only “STFU fag up your ass bitch The Bono is god everyone else sucks dick”
    I wonder how much of this penis-centered idolatry might actually be psychological projection? “(sic) You’re gay comment spoiled the video for me fag suck this nigger”
    Rush is a Canadian, ergo enlightened, band. Comment that you don’t like “Nobodys Hero” a few times and virtual international penises will invariably fly:

    I knew he was different in his sexuality
    I went to his parties as the straight minority
    He never seemed a threat to my masculinity
    He only introduced me to a wider reality

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